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When you help others...why does it make you feel good?

Started by Anatta, September 01, 2011, 12:36:20 AM

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Anatta

Quote from: Pinkfluff on September 02, 2011, 11:16:54 PM
Like many other things I think it has both a physical and a spiritual component. I'd think that it feeling good to help someone else would be good for the survival of the species, which would explain it in evolutionary terms. I do believe that it is a good and right thing to do in a spiritual sense as well. Hospitality has always been important among Heathens. Once when Thor was out traveling he came upon the cabin of a farmer (at least I think it was a farmer) who offered him lodging for the night. Thor then killed his two goats to provide a meal which he shared with the farmer and his family (Thor later brought the goats back to life). It is such a give and take exchange between two people that creates a bond, even if only for a single night, and I think that these kinds of connections are good for both the physical and spiritual/emotional health of all involved. This exchange doesn't always have to be for money or material things either. Sometimes all you may get is the knowledge that you helped someone, but that still is something.

Kia Ora,

::) Many moons ago I remember having quite a fascination with Norse mythology...But alas today apart from knowing that Thursday was named after Thor the god of thunder, my mind's a blank....

Metta Zenda :)
"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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Amazon D

What is worse is not being able to help somebody when you want too. I am like 55 miles away from any place to send someone some money, they need the money by this morning and i have to drag my 88 yr old mother with me. She can have bathroom issues if i don't have everything timed right that can be a mess. And paypal now wants a credit card number unlike a few yrs ago where all they needed was your bank account. This situation is hurting me and not making me feel good at all. So the exact opposite can happen when you can't help someone. It can make you feel very very bad.  :(
I'm an Amazon womyn + very butch + respecting MWMF since 1999 unless invited. + I AM A HIPPIE

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Stephe

Quote from: Zenda on September 02, 2011, 10:52:59 PM

Kia Ora Stephe,

Thanks for your response...

::) Am I right to believe when you speak of a "god" you're referring to an energy force that's in and around all life forms ? [ life's energy force= "Chi"]...

From a Buddhist perspective, karma relates to the cosmic law of cause and effect and the impersonal law of morality [moral causation], they are intertwined, that is, one action gives birth/rise to another-things exist because other things exist[rain falls, sun shines plants grow we eat etc] and in regards to ones own actions-skilful actions give birth to wholesome results unskilful to unwholesome results...


::) Some might view all this as a somewhat "selfish" approach, that is, only helping others because one gets to feel good about themselves, but regardless of the how and why one is driven/motivated to do it, in the long run it helps to make the world a more friendlier place  :icon_bunch:...Plus for the depressed person to think about how to help others will take their mind off  "self" centred thoughts-the fuel that drives depression...

So even though we might see all this from different perspectives, "god or no god" the end result remains the same...

A) Correct and I believe any religion/thought process that preaches "love and respect other people" is well serving the same God I do. And yes I believe in karma too :)

B) It is selfish. I highly doubt anyone would go out of their way to help other people if they got absolutely -nothing- in return. Feeling good is what Love provides to life, most of the things that mentally make us truly happy are related to love but the human part of us is also selfish. It's back to that other question about what makes up the other part of us that isn't God love. It's just how we are and we have to accept we aren't perfect! 

Thanks for bringing this up, it helped clarify some of my thoughts on this.
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eli77

Because I empathize. When people around me feel bad, I feel bad; when people around me feel good, I feel good. Not really that complicated.

Oh, and it also makes me feel useful - contributes to my sense of self-worth that I am able to be helpful.
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Anatta

Quote from: Sarah7 on September 04, 2011, 11:23:55 AM
Because I empathize. When people around me feel bad, I feel bad; when people around me feel good, I feel good. Not really that complicated.

Oh, and it also makes me feel useful - contributes to my sense of self-worth that I am able to be helpful.

Kia Ora Sarah,

::) So in order for you to maintain a positive state of mind, you should only associate with "happy" people...So it truly is "Not really that complicated"...

Metta Zenda :)
"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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eli77

Quote from: Zenda on September 08, 2011, 10:00:15 PM
Kia Ora Sarah,

::) So in order for you to maintain a positive state of mind, you should only associate with "happy" people...So it truly is "Not really that complicated"...

Metta Zenda :)

Rarely an option I'm afraid. People are never just happy in my experience. They are everything. And you accept the good with the bad.
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Anatta

Kia Ora,

::) The law of attraction...If you can maintain a "happy" disposition  then you are bound to attract the like minded...

::) Miserable people will keep away because your happiness will make them even more miserable  ;) ;D

Metta Zenda :)
"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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BunnyBee

This isn't really a philosophical answer, but it's simply because we're wired that way as social creatures.  It helps us play nice together.  It is interesting that both helping and being helped make us feel good.  I read some kind of study a while ago that concluded that you actually do create a stronger connection (more serotonin or oxytocin is released, I forget which) with somebody by letting them help you than by actually helping them.  Something to keep in mind.

The other symbiotic thing I love about humanity that also has been mentioned here is the infectious nature of happiness.  You can make people around you happy just by simply being happy yourself.  Cool huh?  That does say something about the kind of people you should surround yourself with too.  Also another one, we all know that being happy makes you smile, but did you know that smiling makes you happy too?  It's true!  Think about that one. :)

All of the above relate to our social-creature wiring :).
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Anatta

Quote from: Jen on September 08, 2011, 11:24:07 PM
This isn't really a philosophical answer, but it's simply because we're wired that way as social creatures.  It helps us play nice together.  It is interesting that both helping and being helped make us feel good.  I read some kind of study a while ago that concluded that you actually do create a stronger connection (more serotonin or oxytocin is released, I forget which) with somebody by letting them help you than by actually helping them.  Something to keep in mind.

The other symbiotic thing I love about humanity that also has been mentioned here is the infectious nature of happiness.  You can make people around you happy just by simply being happy yourself.  Cool huh?  That does say something about the kind of people you should surround yourself with too.  Also another one, we all know that being happy makes you smile, but did you know that smiling makes you happy too?  It's true!  Think about that one. :)

All of the above relate to our social-creature wiring :).

Kia Ora Jen,

::) If one learns to exploit their "social-creature wiring" the benefits are endless...

::) BTW Jen, laughter has the same/or very similar effect as the smile...So keep those chemical cocktails pumping  ;)  ;D

Metta Zenda :)
"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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Stephe

Quote from: Jen on September 08, 2011, 11:24:07 PM

The other symbiotic thing I love about humanity that also has been mentioned here is the infectious nature of happiness.  You can make people around you happy just by simply being happy yourself.  Cool huh? 

It is. I find if I walk around with a big smile on my face, everyone seems happier. Just saying a quiet Hi with a smile to everyone you run across spreads happiness :)

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Anatta

Quote from: Amazon D on September 04, 2011, 06:17:55 AM
What is worse is not being able to help somebody when you want too.

Kia Ora Amazon,

::) One can only do what they can with the resources they have at hand...To feel compassion and empathy for other sentient beings, are wholesome traits to have...However these feelings shouldn't get in the way of ones sense of well being, in other words one should not cling to these "emotional" states, to do so will not benefit anyone...

Metta Zenda :)   
"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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Abstract

Quote from: Zenda on September 01, 2011, 12:36:20 AM
Kia Ora,

::) A simple question to ponder...When you help others-why does it make you feel good ?

I don't mean "paid" work, but helping someone for no monetary reward...Just because you can see they need help...

Metta Zenda :)
Because helping of others has throughout history largely been what helped humanity to survive, so the behavior was naturally selected.

So ultimately the reason I or for that matter anybody enjoy helping people is probably because we have been genetically conditioned to enjoy it for survival purposes.
"There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance." -Socrates
"Nature herself has imprinted on the minds of all the idea of God." -Cicero
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain an idea without necessarily believing it." -Aristotle
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King Malachite

Even if it's just extending my knowledge, I like to help people because one day some of them may actually want to pay it foward and help others because of me and that's a nice cycle to get going.
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"Sometimes you have to go through outer hell to get to inner heaven."

"Anomalies can make the best revolutionaries."
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Ferretty

I help people because our world today rejects so much of the relatedness we all crave, need. It can completely help you get out of the gutters if someone so much as offers you a hand when you fall down.
A merry christmas to all


...


What's that? Oh but it's too early for christmas you say? BLASPHEMY
It's never too early.

~Skye
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Elsa Delyth

It's complex, there are both narrative and visceral elements. Just because of sympathy, emotions are infectious, contagious. So that lower emotions make us feel bad, and being around sad people makes us sad. In helping them, in elevating their mood, they return the favor and elevate ours. Most times.

There then is the conceptual emotional influences. We see them as images, as down and out, something unfair has happened to them, and they are decent human beings. We don't feel good about helping a nasty person that doesn't deserve it -- in fact, the misery of a nasty person is more pleasurable than their happiness, when we add the conceptual level.

Our intentions are fulfilled, and we did what we meant to. Just the small success, and accomplishment of an intention is in itself pleasurable.

Then there is the higher, noble reason, which has nothing at all to do with what it feels like. It sees people's true natures without joy or sorrow, and affects their, and wishes for their well-being regardless of how we see them, or whether we think they deserve it, or if they're lower or higher than us. It does right for right's sake, even when it isn't pleasurable at all.   
"If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution." Emma Goldman.
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Sydney Spitfire

It makes me feel good because it creates a link to my soul and female side and because a simple thing can have a profound effect on a person and leading to a chain reaction of others helping others
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lexxie_black86

Because in that instance of helping someone, you matter to them and you helped another human being that was in need.

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Girl Beyond Doubt

QuoteWhen you help others...why does it make you feel good?

empathy [Noun]

- the intellectual identification of the thoughts, feelings, or state of another person
- capacity to understand another person's point of view or the result of such understanding
The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself - Mark Twain
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janetcgtv

Yes, It does whether it is returned or not. I just accept the opportunity of someone who needs some kind of help. It is very gratifying.If it helps get them thru a bad day, so be it.
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cathyrains

Quote from: Anatta on September 01, 2011, 12:36:20 AM
Kia Ora,

::) A simple question to ponder...When you help others-why does it make you feel good ?

I don't mean "paid" work, but helping someone for no monetary reward...Just because you can see they need help...

Metta Zenda :)

Getting paid or seeking emotional reward are simply a proxy or substitute for the ethic of reciprocity ("golden rule" et al).
Exceptions to the norm do not constitute a spectrum.
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