Why would someone go "full time" before going on HRT or being on HRT a while?

[Amaranth]

Zoe,

Mine is a similar story.  A few months before I had actually pinned down the cause of my feelings, I started wearing tighter clothes, growing my hair out and wearing makeup, and looking as androgynous as possible.  Mannerisms and dialect changed on their own, and I had  no idea what to think.  Everyone told me I was a gay man, but I knew I didn't like men, nor did I feel like a man at all, so I didn't know how to identify myself.  It definitely paid off once I figured everything out; I have hair that's a decent length to pass, and the transition doesn't seem so "sudden" to everyone since the men's clothes I wore are similar to the girls' close I wear now.

[Stephe]

So...... I'm not sure if attitude really helps with passing. I have seen plenty of anxious or nervous ciswomen and not once did I think they might be trans.  I DO however think that being confident in what you do will make people feel at ease and it's also hard to make fun of someone who is confident.

A couple of points. Being nervous or anxious makes people notice you, which is step one to being read. If you are uber confidant and someone thinks they might read you, you will appear to them -this is how they are supposed to be, what are you thinking- and they are more willing to just accept that you are what you appear to be. If you are acting all scared and self conscious, you might as well wear a sign of your back saying "Kick me I'm a ->-bleeped-<-" no matter how well you think you pass. Sorry but I totally disagree on your thoughts about not being sure if attitude really helps with passing. Without confidence, you will never pass.

I didn't say HRT doesn't help or is a bad idea etc, I don't think anyone did. I'm just saying that HRT IMHO isn't a huge part of being able to pass/live full time successfully. Again, this is just in my honest opinion. You don't have to agree 🙂

[JessicaH]

A couple of points. Being nervous or anxious makes people notice you, which is step one to being read. If you are uber confidant and someone thinks they might read you, you will appear to them -this is how they are supposed to be, what are you thinking- and they are more willing to just accept that you are what you appear to be. If you are acting all scared and self conscious, you might as well wear a sign of your back saying "Kick me I'm a ->-bleeped-<-" no matter how well you think you pass. Sorry but I totally disagree on your thoughts about not being sure if attitude really helps with passing. Without confidence, you will never pass.

I didn't say HRT doesn't help or is a bad idea etc, I don't think anyone did. I'm just saying that HRT IMHO isn't a huge part of being able to pass/live full time successfully. Again, this is just in my honest opinion. You don't have to agree

You have some good points there. I'm very glad that we can discuss all this like friend. After all, how does anyone learn anything if they can't discuss something they are not in agreement with.  We all definately have enough obstacles in this path we were pushed down, without fighting each other over words and ideas. I appreciate the uniqueness of everyone here and I support everyone here in how they ttransition.

[Jen61]

A few years ago when I was pre everything I realized that due to personal situations I may never get HRT, SRS, etc. So i decided to tell everybody and stated to dress as I wished and I was not concern in passing or not. I just felt like a confident bussines woman, and went about my business as such.

Well, my experience is that beside a few double takes, I have not been harassed. At work and at places and people I frequent everbody treats me as a female. I do not have any breast to speak off yet with my long hair and polished nails I pass all the time. Now I am about to styart on E

My point is that perhaps success is due to my energy projection, "I am a female"

Jen61

[Stephe]

You have some good points there. I'm very glad that we can discuss all this like friend.

And you have valid reasons for your thoughts as well. I just wanted to share that my "passability" has changed over the last year a lot and I think most of it has to do with my confidence. I have to add that being on HRT and having some minor FFS gave me a HUGE boost of confidence. I do feel that it's more my confidence level that caused this change but it's likely a mixture of all of them.

I guess my point was, don't discount the confidence part of this equation. If you need HRT to become confident, then it will help you a lot. I just feel it's the confidence part that does more than the changes to your appearance.

[Stephe]

My point is that perhaps my success is due to my energy projection, "I am a female"

It sure it is. Where you are is a hard place to get for many people, myself included. Now that I am there, I can see clearly why this is so important.

[furlock]

I just recently joined this forum very interested in the whole hormone part of transition.

There is also how I see it, while cosmetically I could transition into female and freak my daughters out or I could slowly physically transition so they can see not only the person that I am but who I transform into. I am definitely not interested in reversing what I do its more of a matter of resources to achieve the goals I want to reach. I am married with children this doesn't only reflect or effect me but effects them. I want them to understand I want to be part of their life and as best I can slip into that role.

Most of my life has been fit around making others happy its a hard theme to break and open up. So is it better that I do HRT first, in some ways I already have traits in other ways I have a ingrained mind male set that needs to be torn down. There is a lot of self discovery going on here, especially with therapy.

[lilacwoman]

there are many shrinks who feel that TSism is mental illness and in my town a couple of years back the local gender clinic shrinks were asked if TSism was a mental illness and they refused to say NO. 
These shrinks are stuck in the past and feel they have to control us so in fact they try to stick to the requirement to do RLE before agreeing HRT.
and to show how stupid they are and why I have a big case going through the courts I had been legally female for almost two  years and was four years on HRT by our NHS but when I finally got to gender clinic the shrinks actually wrote on my file 'six months wait and assessmnets before we decide if SHE can have hormones.'  This is the stupidity of shrinks who feel above the law and also do not understand what TSism really is.

[JenJen2011]

To each their own. I went full time right after I got my legal name change, breast augmentation, and rhinoplasty. At that time I had been on HRT for 20 months. Passing to me is important so I couldn't see myself going full time overnight. And to me it just makes more sense to have a plan and take it step by step instead of just jumping right into something that could set someone up for failure.

[Jayne]

For someone who is shy, being full time before they pass really well from months or more of HRT would decrease the quality of their lives.

I've always been quite shy when I first meet people & the better I know people the more I come out of my shell, when I first came out I went out as female & my friends were very supportive. I couldn't face living as a man any longer so started going out as a woman but after a few bad experiences my confidence was destroyed & I can't bring myself to go out as female right now, I also find being male so hard right now that I can't face going out in social situations as a male so at the moment I just don't go out.
So you are spot on when you say that being full time before you pass can decrease the quality of your life.

[Constance]

I was very shy as a man. But being out en femme and having people react to me with love and kindness boosted my self-confidence to the point where I went full time about 3 months after starting HRT.

But, that was how it played out for me.

[pebbles]

I has the same view I wasn't going to transition unless I could be at least reasonably passable while part of me wanted it I need to do other things in my life and I won't let my transition swallow everything.

Whitch lead to my course of action I started HRT but didn't tell anyone until several months later... except for one or two close friends. Ultimately I did transition and go fulltime I'm aware of how lucky I am and while I reckon maybe 3-5% of the time I might not pass it's good enough for me I suppose.

[stldrmgrl]

Passing to me is important...

...to me it just makes more sense to have a plan and take it step by step instead of just jumping right into something that could set someone up for failure.

I absolutely agree.  I have a very specific transition plan and intend on following it.  I am soon nearing my fourth month on HRT and have no plans of going full-time at this point.  However, I don't believe there is a correct or incorrect time to go full-time, only the right time; which is specific to each of us individually.

[Lallie]

For personal reasons I can't go fulltime yet, but I am spending as much time as I possibly can out in the world as myself. So far, I haven't had any problems, and people relate to me as a woman. How much of this is passing, and how much is just plain human decency, I'm not sure, but it feels the same: comfortable and uneventful, with a pleasing change in the way women relate to me--friendlier, and less guarded. I plan to start HRT in a couple of months, but like others here who frankly lost patience with living a lie, I got tired of waiting to begin my real life. I haven't had my medical tests done yet at the trans clinic, and for all I know I may not be able to have HRT or SRS, anyway; but that's not going to keep me from living the way I was meant to.

🙂 Lallie

[RhinoP]

My personal plan is to "androgynize" myself to the point I could pass as male or female (using FFS and at least androgen blockers) where I can test the waters of both sexes - I've studied MTF patients for a long time and the ones that have the ability to pass as male or female from birth are actually the happiest and most confident from the get-go, and this is exactly what I feel is needed to test myself and see what's up. There's no negatives to it - I'd be more beautiful as a man and more beautiful as a woman, gender attributes are not set in stone in my age, one look at Justin Beiber proves that. So by my plan, I have no negatives. Any other plan, especially the ones therapists have recommended? Full of pot holes.

[El]

20 Months full-time, still no hormones, ****ing NHS

Good job im so damn pretty XD (joke lol)

Edit: Probably worth mentioning that Im glad i went full time before HRT because i would have had to do the last 20 months with much worse dysphoria. I didnt realise i would still be waiting for HRT at this point and i have done a LOT of work making myself look better in these 20 months

[lilacwoman]

get a Human Rights lawyer involved.  the HRA guarantees the NHS has to help you transition if you feel TS even without official diagnosis.

[El]

They lost my paperwork, thats the setback, i was ok'ed to be reffered to Charing Cross within 3 appointments with my local gender specialist and told not to worry if i didnt hear within 6 months because of the waiting list. I got into contact with charing cross after 6 months and was told no reffereal was ever recieved and that it was probably "lost in the post". Im now waiting for another appointment with my local specialist to get a new refferal started. Its a joke really, after such a fast track up to the point of refferal its killing my soul not knowing what is going on

[AbraCadabra]

In the SA system - inherited from UK? Switzerland? or some place in Europe NO hormones are prescribed until after at least one year RLE - and having the 'green light' by the gatekeeper AND GRS unit! In fact really only after the first op i.e. penectomy and orchiectomy.
So about 1 1/2 to 2 years after the first session with the gatekeeper!!

When I went through this mill I could not BELIEVE it, yet so it is.
My gatekeeper was showing SHOCK when I asked him for HRT after I'd seen him for 3 month and about 6 times.
Reason:
It would make me change, behave differently, and so he would not be able to assess me correctly. Yet I had to be full time 24/7/365 RLE to show my full integration into the female role... ah... I just wanted to jump in the lake and not bother to come up again.

After some more rational thinking I did DIY, and then found a GP that was prepared to give me a prescription.
If the gatekeeper would have learned out it - he told me beforehand - he would terminate my sessions. Also if I cried - he also would terminate the sessions - due to lack of 'stability'.

Him being the only one that would clear anyone for SRS in SA, or at least for the practically only SA 'GRS-unit' (free of charge) in the Pretoria state hospital.
(They done some 50 ops to date only and the results look - bad)
The only other SA 'unit' is in Cape Town has a ~3 year waiting list and does about 3 ops a year only. So this would make > 3 years RLE without any HRT support.

So, ... some HRT decisions are, like hell, not only yours.

Welcome to the world of trans...
Axélle

[Jen61]

In the SA system - inherited from UK? Switzerland? or some place in Europe NO hormones are prescribed until after at least one year RLE - and having the 'green light' by the gatekeeper AND GRS unit! In fact really only after the first op i.e. penectomy and orchiectomy.
So about 1 1/2 to 2 years after the first session with the gatekeeper!!

When I went through this mill I could not BELIEVE it, yet so it is.
My gatekeeper was showing SHOCK when I asked him for HRT after I'd seen him for 3 month and about 6 times.
Reason:
It would make me change, behave differently, and so he would not be able to assess me correctly. Yet I had to be full time 24/7/365 RLE to show my full integration into the female role... ah... I just wanted to jump in the lake and not bother to come up again.

After some more rational thinking I did DIY, and then found a GP that was prepared to give me a prescription.
If the gatekeeper would have learned out it - he told me beforehand - he would terminate my sessions. Also if I cried - he also would terminate the sessions - due to lack of 'stability'.

Him being the only one that would clear anyone for SRS in SA, or at least for the practically only SA 'GRS-unit' (free of charge) in the Pretoria state hospital.
(They done some 50 ops to date only and the results look - bad)
The only other SA 'unit' is in Cape Town has a ~3 year waiting list and does about 3 ops a year only. So this would make > 3 years RLE without any HRT support.

So, ... some HRT decisions are, like hell, not only yours.

Welcome to the world of trans...
Axélle

How awfull, stalinistc in nature