Okay, admittedly, I skimmed through... because I am ADHD and non medicated. But let me put in my nickel of opinion.
I, for one, believe sexuality and gender identity are NOT always necessarily linked or developed as a package deal for everyone. I believe that although a person may self identify as the opposite gender, that their sexuality develops at right before puberty. and matures thru it... I will have to admit the prospect of sex with boys did not appeal to me when I was growing up... Infact sex did not appeal whatsoever... I never wanted to try it...... I self identified as a "baby boy" to my parents as a 3-4yr old... they thought it was a phase. As puberty started, I actually was attracted to both females and males, but did not assert the concept of sexual intercourse, because mostly my body mismatch.... duh! So I went thru elementary school, junior high, and then sophmore year I finally dated a guy. He was sort of effeminate yet masculine at the same time. I did not end up going beyond kissing him and thought about oral sex with him, but chickened out on voicing that thought... then after 6months or so his hands got curious, I admitted to him that I could not go on because I was not emotionally ready for sex. So we amicably split.) This is about the time when I met my first admitted gay man. I found myself attracted heavily to him. Again, since I felt dysphoria about my gender, all I could think of was oral sex with him........ But he looked at me and saw a girl. So nothing happened. About a year later I learned about transgenders and GID and I was like OMG! because I never wanted to do anything with my body involved, but I did want other's bodies......... by now admittedly male. (I outgrew thoughts of women that way as soon as I discovered sex could be performed orally.. I imagine a vag and was like NOOOO! I dont even like having one, lol) But the gay man, after I admitted my "self" didn't really understand it, so he was like omg whatever and he went and got a CIS bf. My heart was broken......... and I soon shut that identity back into the closet... When I was 18 1/2 and out of school I dated a heterosexual man, and just have been ever since.. Its how it is.. *sigh* My sexual fantasies about having man parts and doing man things to men have come almost somewhat true with hetero men, but its just not the same. Even gayish straight guys don't feel right to me... lol. I want my correct gender with my sexual preference.. THen I will be happy... I have known since 3 or 4 that I was a boy... and 15 that I was a gay boy. But here I am, almost 30... living and dealing with the parts genetics assigned my body to be...... Its not the same for all I am sure, but that is how I became who I identify as today... I don't nor ever have even enjoyed masturbation because..... yeah, where is my PENIS?!
