Okay as I so happen to be ftm I've been happily using my new name Andy/Andrew for a year now. I don't have a deed poll done yet (a.k.a. I'm still legally my birth name). Though in college I'm registered as Andrew and my student ID even has Andrew on it but when I get my degree or diploma on it, it will have to have my birth name unless I've my name legally changed.
Anyway I was pretty confidant in my name choice of Andy. When I first started thinking about names way back when Andy just stood out. I just knew it was the one. It was perfect. There is a history of Andrew's in my family or at least as middle and conformation names. Ironically Andrew means manliness too though i didn't know that until after i chose the name. Also there's Andy form Toy Story which I've always been a huge fan of and as a gender dysphoric person he was the kind of boy i always wanted to be and heck even the way he looks in toy story 3 it would be awesome if i looked that way now.
But last week when I was writing a screenplay and I named a character called Dylan. A trans guy too. I randomly chose the name when i went on a baby name site. I do that all the time for characters and a lot of writers do it too. Anyway when i started using the name Dylan as i wrote things like this were popping into my head:
'Oh, Dylan's a nice name'
'I like the name Dylan'
'I don't really know any Dylan's so it wouldn't be weird if that was my name'
So after all this time I've been thrown into this whrilwind of confusion about my name and do i want to change it.
But if i did such a thing does that prove that me being trans is only a phase or something like that? like i'm bored of andy and now i'm moving on to dylan
How akward would it be going to my college going oh i'm changing my name again.
Then theirs my friends, fmaily and people who know me and telling them again I've want to be called this.
Does Dylan even suite me?
Ugh I hate that I'm just so uncertain all things related to my gender and these type of uncertainness plague me all the time. like the phase one. am i really trans? am i a boy? am I doing the right thing?
Gurr any thoughts? How was the name situation for others? anything to do with my situation?
