Sleeping with dogs and partner in your bed? (note doggy plural)

[AbraCadabra]

It seems a health issue to me – yet I'm also sure not every one will agree...

It seems too like some sort of addiction on both sides, the dog lover's AND the dogs' - again I'm sure not every one will agree either...

I'm trying to figure out why this is such a wide spread "thing" with mostly females... cis- only this far, in my experience.

I know of THREE... actually all I'm close to (one no more) and the other females I know do not have a dog, or dogs.

Now imagine an American Pit-Bull with her male buddy, a Rothweiler / Staffordshire-terrier mix, add the second husband, all night for years sharing the same bed... that lot of them snoring like hell knows no fury!
Just writing this down makes me feel pretty weird - in deed it does. VERY... weird. Second husband = my son's stepfather, so we talk about my ex.

Next, two Yorkshire terriers (handbag dogs...) in bed with/add my other friends new bf... (poor sod...)
The argument that poor dude was trying to win for HOURS, (me being present) was that he can not sleep with those "extras", getting up several times at night, them (the male and female Yorkshires) are snoring, with the male having his halitosis breathing into his face, the female preferring to be 'crushed' rather then to move out of the way, and the male licking one's face and being into 'French kissing' as his every morning exercise... (Love conquers all?)
BTW, when I had to look after those, plus puppies, I had the same experience, so this is how it is.

WHAT IS IT?! that causes close to consternation in those females (the human one's) if one suggests that the dogs aught better sleep in their doggy beds? They (the dogs) even keep each other company and do this quite comfortably if snoozing during the day.

I have watched that poor bf trying to make his case, TO PLEASE GET SOME SLEEP, AND TO MIND HIS ALLERGY (swollen face in the morning) never mind having onlookers during performance of his sexual act!... eye-ball to eye-ball...!!

OK, - please any suggestions why dog's needs trump an apparently ever sooo beloved bf's needs?
In the case of the husbands, the other two cases... it seems to be OK with them. No more 'nookie' performances (hum...) and apparently ALSO much in love with the dogs...

May one be ever so happy that no chickens or ducks or maybe goats get involved?
Gosh.... WHAT IS IT?! Back to nature? Separation anxiety?

What am I missing here?
Any one for some deeper -psychological insights- to make me feel better?

Grrrr,
Axélle

[Sephirah]

OK, - please any suggestions why dog's needs trump an apparently ever sooo beloved bf's needs?

Dogs don't steal all the duvet or jam their extremities in the small of your back right when you're just about to drift off to sleep, waking you back up with an irritated sigh and a burning desire to beat something to death with a pillow.

Speaking as someone who had two dogs - they're given a sort of love or affection that's different to a partner. I would equate it more to the love one gives children. Often you feel protective of them, and even fuss over them way too much. My dogs always used to sleep on my bed, although they weren't very large and so didn't take up much space. I couldn't tell you with any certainty why that was, other than I probably thought that my bed would be more comfortable for them than a dog basket and I wanted them to be comfortable.

[AbraCadabra]

Dogs don't steal all the duvet or jam their extremities in the small of your back right when you're just about to drift off to sleep, waking you back up with an irritated sigh and a burning desire to beat something to death with a pillow.

Speaking as someone who had two dogs - they're given a sort of love or affection that's different to a partner. I would equate it more to the love one gives children. Often you feel protective of them, and even fuss over them way too much. My dogs always used to sleep on my bed, although they weren't very large and so didn't take up much space. I couldn't tell you with any certainty why that was, other than I probably thought that my bed would be more comfortable for them than a dog basket and I wanted them to be comfortable.

Reading through the lot... if your partner then has an issue with them sweeties you would suggest HIM sleeping in the dog-basket?

It was this that made me wonder... the dogs (like children) getting the preference.

And how about your sex-life hon...? I can not even figure, don't want to figure out how the poor guy must feel given a main-stand-performance to those present other then his partner... Practice for some exhibitionism?

In any case, I learned not even Viagra did it then... just saying... am I too considerate in feeling compassion for the dude? As for the duvets I have my own in any case, and lower back 'attention' with 'extremities' well... ain't that all about nookies – and need for some... LTC?

I wonder...
Axélle

[peky]

You made me lough so hard. When I came to the USA I thought these "gringos" are crazy, they sleep with dogs!

30 years of "American Indoctrination" has not change the way I feel about dogs and cats: "Not in my bedroom, period."

I am in the market for a partner, and my recruiting add reads: "Dog lover need not to apply." That is not to say I will not welcome a partner that has a dog, but the dog sleeps in the kitchen, garage, or back yard. Dog is not allow to freely roam the house.

When it comes to it, the issue with "dog lovers" is beyond the dog sleeping in the bed; it is that more often than not the partner comes second to the dog.

[Jeneva]

We sleep with animals in the bad. Our Pappilon named Jenks sleeps down at our feet between us and is super careful to not disturb us. Unless he growls at someone coming in our bedroom. He gets right out of the way if we move to snuggle or anything else.

Now our Siamese named Sagwa sleeps at the top of the bed. She is morbidly obese and snores. She asks has to be pushed out of the way, but once you do she leaves the room to pout.

[Renee D]

My dog sleeps with me most of the night that he's not playing with the remains of whatever stuffed thing he mutilated. I used to say that I wouldn't let a dog do this or a dog do that, but then I actually got one....

[Keaira]

For the smaller dogs, it can be like having a fuzzy baby with you in bed. I had 2 yorkies when I lived in The UK. Or your best friend there beside you just watching over you. With bigger dogs, I'm sure for some, it is also a security issue. If someone broke into your house, the dog would know before you did and wake you up.

[Jamie D]

What did dogs do for the millions of years before they were domesticated?
And the tens of thousands of years humans did not have plushy beds?

They slept outside - their natural habitat.

[AbraCadabra]

What did dogs do for the millions of years before they were domesticated?
And the tens of thousands of years humans did not have plushy beds?

They slept outside - their natural habitat.

Amen, ahamen... yet one could argue they were not really over-bread at this stage.

My gf fills me in and her bf... that she HAD TO DO 6 weeks "training" so as to be "able" to become a Yorkie owner....

OMG! Some folks need less time to decide getting MARRIED!

The other "psycho-thing", she was not going to have a child (at 43, fair enough) with her 15 year younger previous bf --- so she decided on having a Yorkie instead...

Well... so it is,
Axélle

[Jamie D]

Amen, ahamen... yet one could argue they were not really over-bread at this stage.

My gf fills me in and her bf... that she HAD TO DO 6 weeks "training" so as to be "able" to become a Yorkie owner....

OMG! Some folks need less time to decide getting MARRIED!

The other "psycho-thing", she was not going to have a child (at 43, fair enough) with her 15 year younger previous bf --- so she decided on having a Yorkie instead...

Well... so it is,
Axélle

Misplaced mothering instinct!

[Renee D]

What did dogs do for the millions of years before they were domesticated?
And the tens of thousands of years humans did not have plushy beds?

They slept outside - their natural habitat.

Man evolved to enjoy the finer things, so why can't doggies? 

[Devlyn]

Labrador Retrievers = bedwarmer! Hugs, Devlyn

[MiaOhMya!]

I sleep with my doggy, always have! I just like the company, and keeping eachother warm. Plus it's just darn cute!

Who wouldn't want a cute lovey sweetheart in bed with them? 

[Shang]

My dog sleeps with me in the bed.  My ex only minded it when she moved and would accidentally hit him in the groin.  It got to the point that he probably would have (if I hadn't broken up with him) said that she either has to sleep out on the couch or he does.  My answer would have been that he would have had to sleep on the couch.

My dog comes first because she was here first.  Everyone else, including significant others, are second to her.  Is it healthy?  Probably not.  Do I care?  Not particularly.  I prefer my dog's company to human company anyway.  I am attached to her as if I had physically given birth to her.  That may offend some people, but I can't do anything about how I emotionally feel towards my dog.

As for it being a health issue, it isn't.  She's clean and her shedding is negligible. 

And as Devlyn said, she's a good bed warmer.

On the subject of kids, but having a dog instead:  Hell yeah.  I don't want kids.  Ever.  I have been adamant about not having kids since I was 13.  I have the biological drive to have kids, but I don't have the psychological drive to have them.

So, I have a dog instead and will continue to have dogs instead.  Animals generally get the parenting instinct more than humans anyway, lol.

[Sephirah]

Misplaced mothering instinct!

In my case, that's probably accurate.

I don't have kids, and don't particularly like them. Dogs aren't screaming mucus factories that keep you awake all night. And if you get a dog from a puppy, then really you do raise them yourself, so there's that attachment. I got both of mine at 3 weeks old, and had them until they died of age-related illness, about fourteen years each.

It's kinda hard to explain the bond to people who aren't dog lovers. It's something you have to experience to understand.

[Jamie D]

Man evolved to enjoy the finer things, so why can't doggies?

Evolution?  Okay.

When the dog can make the bed, he can sleep in it. 

[Jamie D]

And as Devlyn said, she's a good bed warmer.

So is a hot water bottle, and it doesn't have fleas. 

[Devlyn]

Jamie, you're jumping to conclusions. I'm not going to give the dog fleas. Hugs, Devlyn

[Jamie D]

Jamie, you're jumping to conclusions. I'm not going to give the dog fleas. Hugs, Devlyn

Formulated for normal, dry, or oily hair!

[Shang]

In my case, that's probably accurate.

I don't have kids, and don't particularly like them. Dogs aren't screaming mucus factories that keep you awake all night. And if you get a dog from a puppy, then really you do raise them yourself, so there's that attachment. I got both of mine at 3 weeks old, and had them until they died of age-related illness, about fourteen years each.

It's kinda hard to explain the bond to people who aren't dog lovers. It's something you have to experience to understand.

I agree that it's hard to explain the attachment.  My dog was 6/7 weeks when I adopted her.  I raised her and paid for all of her bills and still do (minus when boarding her so I can see my parents, which I'll never have to do again! Yay! )

@ Jamie D:  My dog doesn't have fleas. :3  I make sure of that because she's allergic to them and the medications to get rid of them. -.- I have to use natural remedies.