I came out to my sister

[MagicKitty]

So I've wanted to come out to my sister for a while now, but I could never bring myself to do it. Well, last night I got really drunk, and before I passed out, I sent her an email coming out to her. A few days earlier I wrote a similar email, but I could never press the send button.

She's in china on a business trip right now. She calls me at 3:30 in the morning. "You sent me a weird email", I said "no I didn't". "You're transgender, do you know what that means?"... anywho, we had a chat and it seems that she accepts me, but she doesn't understand... at all.

"You never wanted to play with my barbies when you were a kid, you always played with tonka trucks"
"So you want to wear dresses"
"So you want to be a woman"
"But you're my brother"
"Do you not fit in or something"
"I've met transgender people, and they knew their whole life since they were a kid"
"So you like both guys and girls"

I was surprised at how many of these I could respond to while still being pretty drunk. I'm genderqueer and I identify as both male and female. I tried explaining that to her, but I'm REALLY bad at explaining what I'm feeling or thinking. She pretty much thinks that the person she knew is dying or something and that i'm not the same person. I tried telling her that I wanted to appear as androgynous in the future, or as male, or as female. I explained how I've been like this and have realized it for a long time, but I was "in the closet". I said "would you describe me as masculine" she said "no, you've always been a gentleman" She asked me if I wanted kids. I said not really. and "but I want nieces and nephews"

It feels really good to have come out to her. After we hung up the phone, I cried for a half hour for no reason. I wasn't sad, but it felt really good. It was a huge emotional release.

Now I have 2 days to prepare for when she comes home. She's probably going to try to "reason with me" and get me to believe that I'm not actually transgender or something. She probably thinks it's a phase or something and that she can talk me out of it.

[SourCandy]

That right there is why I never (still haven't) touched any alcoholic drink... I knew I would probably come out to someone in a way I'd regret. *hugs* Either way I'm happy for you and hopefully the shell shock wears off for your sister and she accepts what you've told her.

[MagicKitty]

Actually, if I wasn't drunk, I'd probably never come out. I told her "There's no point in waiting, because it won't change. You might as well know earlier than later"

[Jamie D]

I have found that alcohol and an internet connection often do not mix.

With that said, you are out, and you need to build on that foundation.

Many of us have had the feeling that we were transgendered, from an early age, but could not put a name to the feeling.  As I look back, I see now that I was doing a number of things to cope with my undiagnosed gender dysphoria.

I suspect you have been doing that too.

[MagicKitty]

I'm glad I came out. While I regretted it right after I did it, I knew that it's for the best. After I came out to a friend for the first time, I've understood how much support people can give.

I've described my childhood before as... you learn a certain way of life. Some people question it, some people follow along. I didn't start questioning anything about what I was taught or told until I was in grade 7 or so.

Look at the government. How do you know to look for a problem until there's an economic collapse or something. It took an event to allow me to reflect on myself internally. That event was puberty.

And yes, once I noticed I was different, I didn't know what exactly it was. But I started to not fit in, and I did try to become more popular. I played football in HS (I don't even watch football, and then I decided I wanted to play it lol. I had little interest in it). Eventually I rejected myself, and embraced being "normal". But I have since learned that it's a part of me and it will not go away.

[Diane Elizabeth]

        Congrats on coming out to your sister, regardless of how you chose to do it.  I came out to my mother then my sisters.  One is okay with it and the other is not.  But they still love me anyway I am.   Hope it all works out for you.