What is the order you've had FFS?

[Enigma]

When you are post-op and start dating and becoming intimate with multiple partners, (without disclosing) then you will know how well you pass.

I'm not even sure how to respond to that (this isn't it).

[Kate]

Those who talk constantly about how well they "pass" are the ones in the deepest denial, some bordering on delusional.

When you are post-op and start dating and becoming intimate with multiple partners, (without disclosing) then you will know how well you pass.

We so often seem to talk about "passing" as if it's a yes/no 100% absolute, which I don't think is fair or accurate. It seems to lead to these sorta arguments.

When I say "I pass," I simply mean I can function within *my* life's circumstances as Kate without problems. I'm not sexually active or hanging out in sex-oriented environments. I don't live in an area where TSs are common. I'm not going to TS conventions. My life is pretty ordinary and mainstream. And within my environment, people see and treat me as Kate.

I have no idea if the random stranger figures me out or not. But that's the point: even if they do, it's not affecting my life to any noticeable degree. I'm not delusional about it, I'm just practical. If it doesn't affect me, I don't care. And if my *experience* is of being Kate with everyone, then I pass. This isn't a competition for me. This is my life.

I think for some people, "passing" means the ability to live as their target sex with reasonable comfort and confidence that they're being seen and treated for who they are. If they aren't, then FFS is a wonderful way to gain the life they need.

But for others, passing seems to be some sort of competition, both with their own insecurities and other transsexuals to see who can best mimick genetic females. It's THOSE people who I fear pursue FFS for reasons which ultimately cause them more harm than good.

~Kate~

[Keira]

Melissa,
I'm not attacking a belief, I'm mentioning inconsistencies.
Notice I talked about behavior inconsistent with what I
know of that religion.

As for truth,
I don't believe anybody can set themselves as arbitrer of truth.
Its your point of view of the world, not truth.

Declaring that you know the truth is as for from being humble as can be.

[gothique11]

*Grabs popcorn* Oooh, entertainment! Fight! Fight! Fight!

*considers telling everyone to get FFS like Amanda Lepore, but then figures people would freak at her and not get the humor of it all, so she keeps her mouth shut for now. She also wonders why her thoughts keep manifesting on the page with little stars around them, craziness!*

Sings, "I drink Champagne in the morning, I drink Champagne in the afternoon, I drink Champagne in the bubble bath, I drink Champagne in my dressing room...."

[buttercup]

IMO there is alot of pushing and shoving going on here about the merits of having FFS or not.  I think it is purely a personal choice, not for anyone else to say 'you'll never pass, you're delusional.'
In the general population of GGs, there are ultra feminine women (facially I mean) and others with strong masculine features, and they can both be considered attractive, sexy, desirable etc.
In the film industry there are huge diversities, for eg: Eva Longeria and Elizabeth Taylor.  They couldn't look masculine if they tried!  While others have slightly masculine or boyish features like Keira Knightly, Rebecca Romijn.  The androgyny look seems to be 'in' atm.
For me I choose FFS, because it is imperative for me to have any semblance of a normal life.  If your life is going along pleasantly and YOU are happy with how you look, don't mess with it!  I am sick of being scrutinised everywhere I go, that is not a normal existence so off to the surgeon, it is! 
I have seen many TGs who do not pass, but for some reason they do not get any flak or the whole staring treatment!  So why I do, go figure.  Alot of effeminate gay guys seem to like me which I find surprising and wonder what is it they see.  I always get called ma'me, but with an added smile which I don't like!  I crave 'normal', and I want that so much it hurts.  If I achieve it is another matter.  I am not a positive person, never have been, I've been up and down like a yo-yo in this crazy life of mine and God keeps the rollercoaster ride going for me, I want the merry-go-round now, no more surprises, no more tears, no more 'what the hell am I doing?' moments!  Sometimes you just want to chuck it all in!  Some of us were given lemons, and many make lemonade, while mine seems to have turned into cyanide!

[Suzy]

I don't know if there is a correct order to FFS.  (I think that was the question here.)  I have friends who have had "the works" and I am happy for them.  But I still think I personally prefer the gradual approach, doing little things as they present themselves.  My worst feature has always been my eyes.  Insurance finally decided to pay for them, so I am glad to get that out of the way.  I'd like to have the bump on my nose removed and my upper lip enhanced, but that's all I'd like to do, except maybe some of that new gel injection into my cheeks.  There was a post a while back about some product that would help with the lips, but I can't find it.  I have fairly feminine features, so I am told.  Not a strong jaw line, oval face, and practically no adam's apple.

Kristi

[Hypatia]

My face is not so horrible that I have to choose between FFS and putting a sack over my head - but then it isn't so excellent either. It's fair to middlin, and while I would certainly benefit from FFS, I'm also managing to get by without it. My face used to be hopeless, but in the past half year or so my female presentation has blossomed and come into its own, making my transition possible at last. I get called "ma'am" wherever I go now, in the usual blasé matter-of-fact tone of voice used by public servants, and with no signifying smiles, smirks, or inflections from strangers. No more puzzled, dismayed, or surprised facial expressions on others, no more stares or dirty looks. That means I'm generally perceived as a woman,* not as a dude in a dress. So I'm pretty happy with that. I would really love a good FFS job on my jaw and nose (I'm lucky I got no brow ridges or Adam's apple) -- but I'm not so bad off to justify the huge expense? It's hard to decide in my case.

*Instead of "passing," I prefer to say "being perceived correctly as the woman I am."

[seldom]

My face is not so horrible that I have to choose between FFS and putting a sack over my head - but then it isn't so excellent either. It's fair to middlin, and while I would certainly benefit from FFS, I'm also managing to get by without it. My face used to be hopeless, but in the past half year or so my female presentation has blossomed and come into its own, making my transition possible at last. I get called "ma'am" wherever I go now, in the usual blasé matter-of-fact tone of voice used by public servants, and with no signifying smiles, smirks, or inflections from strangers. No more puzzled, dismayed, or surprised facial expressions on others, no more stares or dirty looks. That means I'm generally perceived as a woman,* not as a dude in a dress. So I'm pretty happy with that. I would really love a good FFS job on my jaw and nose (I'm lucky I got no brow ridges or Adam's apple) -- but I'm not so bad off to justify the huge expense? It's hard to decide in my case.

*Instead of "passing," I prefer to say "being perceived correctly as the woman I am."

You look like an older woman.  I have met you multiple times and that is the impression I get.  Me on the other hand I have to get FFS to deal with the massive nose and brow ridge, and horrid hairline (which you have never seen because I wear a wig). 

[Hypatia]

Yes, Amy, you're the only one in this forum who has met me IRL. You look great, sister, if you ask me. I look like an older woman because I am one, heck I'm a grandmother--and I like it. All I want to be is simply who I am, a mature woman. As for my horrid hairline, I wear scarves over it. We all do what we can to get by in life. We can carry it off primarily because we believe in ourselves. We know the women that we are from deep down inside, and that is the most important "facial feminization" of all.

[Hypatia]

I say I need FFS because that face I see in the mirror looking back at me, it isn't me.
No matter what other people may think I need or don't need, it's MY OPINION and MY CHOICE to have FFS before SRS.

You should definitely go for it.
Start saving and investing. Check out Suze Orman's Women & Money.

[seldom]

I would be fairly upset if I heard that conversation now questioning my gender.  Largely because it NEVER happens to me.  Its always, young lady, miss, or ma'am.  I never overhear kids saying that stuff, and I would. 

Its not that I am striking.  The truth is my face is very similar to several natal females in Chicago I am friends with.  Yeah its not perfectly feminine, but its not really masculine either. 

I hate my parts of my face, but really only the forehead and hairline have issues.  That is why I am being selective with what gets tinkered with.  I don't want to mess with my jaw and I don't need too.