so what's wrong with being open and proud

[Dread_Faery]

Funny how the choice is presented as an either or one, you're either stealth or out and proud. The truth is more messy, even if you have no problem being perceived as female. I like that I can be honest with some of my friends but also have zero desire to educate everyone that crosses my path.

[barbie]

red and black are my favorite colors. you look fabulous as usual Barbie .

Thanks, Stephanie.

I am wearing the same skirt to present in the conference.



I chatted with a lot of people. One from N. America talked to me about education on transgender people in school.

barbie~~

[Foxglove]

I'm going to say something incendiary.

if you want to be treated as any other woman would
instead of as a guy in a dress
stealth is the only way

this is how the cis sexism cookies crumble
don't flame me 

feel free to smite my reputation if it incenses you

This isn't necessarily true, Hanazono.  You might want to have a look at this thread where I recounted a recent experience of mine.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,175976.0.html

It's my belief that the way individuals and society perceive us will evolve with time.  As proof, I allege this incident.

[Foxglove]

however; how would anyone relate being out and proud with say , closing sales prospects ?

I don't have the answer to this one, not being in business myself.  But I do some free-lance work, and when I came out to two people that I have contact with, they were perfectly OK with it.  In fact, one of them told me his dentist was trans.

Hanazono, these are early days yet.  We transpeople haven't been in the public eye for very long, and so it's impossible to say how people will see us in a couple of more generations, say.  But lots of us do have good stories to tell.  E.g., three of my women friends often get together for "a girly lunch".  When I came out, they started including me.  So I would say they're treating me like any other woman.  When you're being included in a girly lunch, that's quite significant.

Also, I'm a member of a book club which is all women.  Not that men are excluded.  They just don't show up.  But all the members are perfectly OK with me.  As when one of them, saying good-bye to me and another woman at the end of one meeting, said, "See you, girls!"

And you might note that in places such as Ireland where legislation is being passed or considered that will recognize transgender rights, the provision always is that transpeople will be recognized as "male" or "female"--not as "transgender" or "other".

What I'm saying is that in ways (small ways perhaps) we transpeople are already being accepted as men and women.  We can't predict the future of course, but the signs are already there that cispeople may eventually come to accept us simply as another variety of men and women.

[suzifrommd]

hi and thanks for the link to the other post. it gave me interesting insights.

however; how would anyone relate being out and proud with say , closing sales prospects ?

we know it's easy to get businesses which we're customers of to more easily "accept " trans people but how about the other way around?

I think this is a major issue. However, it's an axiom of sales that you need to be able to sell to all sorts of people, not just people like you. I've come across good salesmen and saleswomen who were adept at humanizing themselves and making a connection with any customer in a very short period of time. Trans salesfolk are no different. We need to humanize ourselves, to introduce ourselves in ways that lets our customers connect with us as human beings. Look for common ground with the customer.

It's easy for people to be disgusted with us in the abstract. It's a whole lot harder when they realize we're people just like them, with careers, interests, families, likes and dislikes, etc.

[barbie]

Last week, one lady from Canada asked me whether I prefer being called 'she' or being called 'he'. She knows me very well, and asked that question, as I was wearing heels and skirt. They know well that I am not a cis-woman, but those people and my friend/colleagues treat me accordingly.... but how they treat or perceive me seems to differ by person.

Based on my voice, most people can know my biological sex, but nobody has yet offended me. Aged women just say I look beautiful. Young women give some advice on fashion and makeup.

I work as a university professor, and my graduate students have not yet shown any unusual reaction to me. They just think I am their mentor, regardless of my appearance.

barbie~~

[stephaniec]

Last week, one lady from Canada asked me whether I prefer being called 'she' or being called 'he'. She knows me very well, and asked that question, as I was wearing heels and skirt. They know well that I am not a cis-woman, but those people and my friend/colleagues treat me accordingly.... but how they treat or perceive me seems to differ by person.

Based on my voice, most people can know my biological sex, but nobody has yet offended me. Aged women just say I look beautiful. Young women give some advice on fashion and makeup.

I work as a university professor, and my graduate students have not yet shown any unusual reaction to me. They just think I am their mentor, regardless of my appearance.

barbie~~

I must say I truly admire you and also wished I had legs like yours.

[barbie]

I am fairly certain you have approximately the same amount of toes per leg, functional feet, ankles, knees, calves and thighs like Barbie does?

Yes. Two women at their 40s and 60s from Australia asked me whether it is not difficult and painful for me to wear high heels. They added that they no longer wear high heels after their 20s. Yes. 5-inch heels can give some pain to my feet, but 4-inch or 1-2 inch platform heels are comfortable to wear, although it is difficult to run as if wearing sneakers. They did not mention at all my legs or body shape.

barbie~~

[stephaniec]

Yes. Two women at their 40s and 60s from Australia asked me whether it is not difficult and painful for me to wear high heels. They added that they no longer wear high heels after their 20s. Yes. 5-inch heels can give some pain to my feet, but 4-inch or 1-2 inch platform heels are comfortable to wear, although it is difficult to run as if wearing sneakers. They did not mention at all my legs or body shape.

barbie~~

I love heels , but my knees are bad, so can only endure very short periods