Parents live far away...

[89thDay]

Heyo, I was hoping I could get some advice from y'all on this.

I've been coming out to my family and friends since mid february, roughly, but I've intentionally saved two folks for last: my mum and dad. Might sound a little weird, going from strangers and working inwards, but there it is ^^"
I've been thinking a lot about when I want to tell them, but it's a bit difficult... I have an opportunity to tell my mum this summer, as I'll be visiting with her for a week, but I'm not exactly sure the best way to tell her, or the exact timing. I've been thinking that writing a letter would be best for her, something solid, with a lot of facts and resources for her along with explaining my personal feelings. But the thing that gets me is the timing... I have a feeling that her reaction will not be the greatest, just based off of some stuff she's said in the past, but I'm uncertain of just how badly it will go[then again, she could surprise me, but...].

Which do you guys think would be best?
-tell her towards the beginning, so we have time to talk..? [the potential problem with this one is if it goes really badly, I'm stuck till the end of the week]
-Tell her towards the end of the week, so there's time to talk but maybe only a day or so [this way if it did go badly, it's at most 24 hours till the plane]
-Give her the letter at the airport, which gives her the time that I'm flying to read and react to it[but the problem with this is that we won't see each other face-to-face again for a while]
-Mail her the letter after I come home[this would mean it's safe to be there, with no risk, but I'd have to deal with her wanting to buy/give me feminine things, have her call me by my birth name, female pronouns, etc.]

Or if any of you have dealt with this[which I'm sure this isn't something new], how did y'all do it, if I may ask?

Thank you for any help you can offer..
--Lukas

[Jessica Merriman]

It is only my opinion and how I handled coming out to my parents. I had a face to face to show respect for the time and energy they used to raise me. I set a day when there was plenty of time for questions and answers and to judge the reactions on their faces. It is a shock of course because they get hit with it at once where we have suffered and planned sometimes for years. In my case a letter would not have worked because they would have felt I couldn't talk to them or come to them with my problems. That little respect payed big dividends for me. At first they were in shock, so expect it. Over time because I handled it the way I did acceptance and respect followed. Only you though know how they will react based on your life with them. So consider how they would take news of this nature and tailor your coming out just to them. Good luck baby!

[Alaia]

Were it me I'd probably break the news towards the end of the week. Especially if you feel your mum may take the news hard and react badly. Save the last day to answer her questions and explain things. Then, if things start to be said that are just too hurtful you can always leave and go to the airport early.

I think it's probably easier to prepare yourself with some points you want to make in a conversation. If afterwards you find there are things you missed or were left unsaid then you can always write her a follow up letter.

Good luck, I wish you the best!