Red flags

[Jennygirl]

Stickied

suzi feel free to edit your first post at any time to reflect the changes / suggestions of other members. I'll leave that up to you though

[ChiGirl]

I finally came out to my psychiatrist last week and the thing he asked me was if I wanted to have sex with men.  Then he asked me about cross-dressing.  I'm comfortable with him otherwise, but it worries me how uneducated about Trans issues he is.  So that's another red flag.

[traci_k]

I would highly recommend getting a copy of the WPATH guidelines and familiarizing yourself with them and don't be afraid to question the therapist. I started seeing an LCSW for depression and I told her why - that I had gender issues. During our discussions I mentioned the WPATH guidelines and asked if she was familiar with them. She wasn't. Not a big deal since she was helping with the depression and exploring the gender issues knowledgeably. When I had to quit seeing her and asked for a letter to begin HRT and she asked how I wanted it to read. I asked her if I was her first transgender patient and she admitted I was. To me no big deal because she was helping with the depression and Gender Dysphoria.

So aside from the comprehensive list, the question is, "Are they helping?" If not start looking for a new one.

Also while most therapists do have non-disclosure agreements, there was a notice in mine that they may tell someone if they think we are a danger to ourselves or others.

Also, regarding the question about sex with men. She did bring up the question in our discussion about transition and post transition plans. I told her while I primarily was leaning towards lesbian, I told her I hoped to have sex with men as I had heard that natural dialation was the best method. Gave us both a good giggle. But to her, gay, lesbian or bi had no  impact on whether or not she would give the letter or not. Which she did send me.

[Mavis]

There is an important red flag you can test each therapist with on day one. Therapists keep two sets of records, the first set is what you see when you request your records, the second set is what they don't want you to read and will be released to you only if specifically asked for. The second set is a non sugar coated and very detailed assessment of you and is usually only transferred to your new therapist when your new dr requests the records.

When you begin your session explain to the therapist that trust is an important aspect of your relationship and as such you would like frequent updates of both sets of records. If the therapist is hesitant to oblige then respectfully decline to continue working with them.

[Tessa James]

I consider it self serving of a therapist to initially state that X number of sessions or months of treatment will be necessary to provide letters of support.   That is a red flag suggesting a one size fits all formula IMO.

[Devlyn]

I consider it self serving of a therapist to initially state that X number of sessions or months of treatment will be necessary to provide letters of support.   That is a red flag suggesting a one size fits all formula IMO.

Unless they're saying it will be done in one! 

[Tessa James]

You got my #

[ChasingAlice]

My red flag from my previous therapist was when she said...or i took it as... she wanted me to dress ?female? and talk to me about whether i perfer top or bottom. During the same appointment  she sounded like like i had to give her 5,000 dollars for a letter.

I think she usually sees ftm and not mtf. Anyway i told my psyciatrist and she wrote the letter.

[MelissaB]

* They state or imply that transitioning would necessarily be harmful to children in your life.

This one jumps out to me. I feel like it would really depend on the context of what was being discussed, and exactly what was said and how.

If you have children, you can't ignore the potential impacts transitioning could have on them.  Or at least in my opinion, it would not be responsible to ignore them. The emotional upheaval and confusion that would likely occur, the potential for being teased, picked on or bullied because they have a transgender parent.  To be certain there are potential upsides as well, like the opportunity to demonstrate how to be OK with who you are without tying it to the general approval of the rest of society.

I guess what I am saying is that discussion point could be relevant.

[DawnOday]

Wow, I must have gotten extremely lucky... I have gotten none of those things on your list from my therapist. In fact quite the opposite. She is extremely supportive and if anything is encouraging about my transition. After ten minutes of me blurting 40 years of frustration out... She pretty much said when do you want to start HRT?  It was my chose to wait to lose weight first then start HRT. I guess I'm a lucky girl...

Mine has done the same thing. I never thought it possible because of other health problems. But there I was in my third meeting with  her and she suggested  to start HRT. and wrote the letter. I went to my GP and he prescribed the estaroldoal sublingual. Later the welfare worker got me into a voice training therapy. I feel so blessed to be who I am starting to be. I've been on HRT for two months. It's like a lifetime prayer fulfilled. Of course God being the jokester he is waited almost 65 years to answer it.

[Xirafel]

* They claim you can be cured of being transgender.

If they can cure it, then they're welcome to try.

[Cakemonstomus]

My therapist does one of these things (not providing a letter) I didn't know that that classified as a red flag, but I guess I should have figured