Transitioning: Male relatives

[YinYanga]

Hi hi, probably a topic that's been discussed a lot already but it's something that bothers me

Both families Ive come out to over the years have embraced my identity and apart from my mother they've been very supportive. I'm going shopping with my sister-in-law to be tomorrow so what more could I wish for??

Well maybe its the type of reaction that bothers me a bit. The women in the families almost seem to jump up in glee now that I made the decision and I have the most amazing talks with them, whether its about my life or theirs. Ive always felt more natural around women

The men however...they say theyre in support but it seems so uneasy for them, they dont know how to treat me and I rarely get a reaction out of them. My brother are proud but its somewhat the same with them. I dont know whether to give them a handshake (mine are the femme kind)  or a kiss

Perhaps they're grossed out or griefing. Maybe its just them being guys.

Wish it wasnt so tense,
Vivien

[Natalie]

My family absolutely hates me. My biological father told me, "You will never amount to anything in life and should do society a favor and kill yourself." Luckily, he is dead and good riddance. My Mom? Well she said, "You are now an orphan" and the most common one from my 8 brothers and sisters was, "Watch your back before I beat the ->-bleeped-<-got out of you."

[YinYanga]

Wish we could 'adopt' you after reading that. The vileness just oozes from that family

[alabamagirl]

I'll adopt you, Demoness. Want to be my new sister?

[Natalie]

When I graduated from college "nobody" was there. Sad but true. Such a big event in my life and I had no family to see it.

[stephaniec]

My family absolutely hates me. My biological father told me, "You will never amount to anything in life and should do society a favor and kill yourself." Luckily, he is dead and good riddance. My Mom? Well she said, "You are now an orphan" and the most common one from my 8 brothers and sisters was, "Watch your back before I beat the ->-bleeped-<-got out of you."

sorry to here that. I stopped talking to my siblings 20 years ago , but it wasn't trans related.

[RosieD]

When I graduated from college "nobody" was there. Sad but true. Such a big event in my life and I had no family to see it.

Heh!  Older, different college, different qualification, same story.  Still, big clumps of grass to them, eh?  I didn't, and I would guess that you didn't, put in all the hard work and study for someone else's benefit.

(Belated)Congratulations on your graduation!

Rosie

[Natalie]

Heh!  Older, different college, different qualification, same story.  Still, big clumps of grass to them, eh?  I didn't, and I would guess that you didn't, put in all the hard work and study for someone else's benefit.

(Belated)Congratulations on your graduation!

Rosie

No, they just don't want anything to do with me. It's their loss, but I miss having a family so much sometimes.

[Ms Grace]

Demoness, sorry to hear that. Your situation is what I feared, fortunately my mother and sister have been accepting and supportive. My father not so much but at least hasn't disowned me but doesn't want to meet me as Grace. Haven't worked up the nerve to tell my brother yet. 

Yinyanga, it may be that the men in your family don't know how to relate to women generally. They're dudes, they're into dude stuff, women do women stuff...ne'er the twain shall meet.

[Carrie Liz]

I still have a few problems with my dad, not like he's actively against me transitioning or anything, just in the sort of silent resentment attitude that he gives me all the time, like I let him down somehow and like he doesn't like who I am anymore.

It's not set in stone for all male relatives, though. My uncle has been one of my biggest supporters, and was the very first person to make the switch to female pronouns and start accepting me as such.

Likewise, my aunt is giving me that "I'm not really sure, are you REALLY sure about this?" attitude, while my mom is my absolute biggest supporter, telling me that it feels like she finally has her kid back after 10+ years of me being some standoffish angry guy that she didn't know.

So yeah, it varies from relative to relative, gender notwithstanding.

[Gina Taylor]

My family absolutely hates me. My biological father told me, "You will never amount to anything in life and should do society a favor and kill yourself." Luckily, he is dead and good riddance. My Mom? Well she said, "You are now an orphan" and the most common one from my 8 brothers and sisters was, "Watch your back before I beat the ->-bleeped-<-got out of you."

I saw my therapist today with my mom there as well. My dad is having heart surgery and it's very life threatening and my mom got emotional a few times. But due to my situation, she told my therapist that she wouldn't disown me, but I'm sure if I pushed her far enough and broke one of her rules, she would in a heat beat. My mom has lost her love for me because I no longer want to be her son but  her daughter now.

[rosinstraya]

My family absolutely hates me. My biological father told me, "You will never amount to anything in life and should do society a favor and kill yourself." Luckily, he is dead and good riddance. My Mom? Well she said, "You are now an orphan" and the most common one from my 8 brothers and sisters was, "Watch your back before I beat the ->-bleeped-<-got out of you."

For the life of me I will never understand how people can be so gutless and hateful. I'm sorry for you that they are such a miserable pack of ><#}%. Hugs to you!

I come from a large family and my parents died some years ago, so in some ways it's not as stressful. Not forgetting the fact of the distance of many thousands of miles between us. Responses to me have been fine and supportive, although I've not contacted the two siblings I've been estranged from (for many years) yet. I've been warned that one brother made disparaging comments about depression, so, er, yeah. Given his general lack of of love for humanity, it's no big surprise.

Families..........

[JohannaJohn]

Wow, my dears, some of you have some very sad stories...

Six weeks in, I have only come out to my 6 year old daughter...great!  We paint our nails bright red, together...she LOVES to paint my toenails bright red, with glitter.

My daughter was staring at my breasts and nipple at the pool a few days ago, so she is the first one to really notice...

I am out to my genetic girlfriend (cis gf), who is 26 and beautiful, I am 56, so I am very lucky she is so accepting so far....

I am out to 2 other female friends...I feel femails here in Latin America where I live are likely to be much more accepting of a fellow developing female (me!), and it helps a lot that FINALLY I can much better understand how they FEEL...since I started micronized progesterone and estradiol valerate 6 weeks ago...

I am NOT out to any male, except 2 building maintenance man who saw my bright red toenails polished when I accidentally answered the door barefoots 2 weeks ago....oh, well, the world didn't end.  It was actually kind of neat...I felt a little embarrassed, but it also made me feel GOOD and FREE.

Hugs,
Joanna.

[JohannaJohn]

When I finally come out to my sister in the USA near Boston, she will PROBABLY accept me since I have a great relationship with my sister....

Most of my family (the females anyway...maybe less so the males) accepted one of my female cousins near Boston, when she came out as lesbian about 10 years ago.

We will see, when the time is right.

It might be VERY interesting when in near future, maybe I will report to my sister that I went in to a bra shop and got professionally measured at 38B...I sure look forward to that day, maybe in a few more months, if I continue to be lucky with by fast developing breasts and nipplies.

Johanna.

Johanna is more and more free...and losing the Fear of Flying (to borrow from Erica Jong).