Major trauma to the body:
I will say that pain medication indirectly helps control depression (please don't abuse this) – morphine, and hydrocodone particularly; one of them being an opiate which many abuse to feel GOOD! I did have one episode one night where I cried a good deal. The site of the surgery was so bruised, black and blue and stiches. Really with any surgery, big or minor it won't look pretty at first – that's just the nature of the body responding to even the slightest change. But still it affected me a little, more in a petty way of it not being "pretty" yet. Foolish me basically.
Lingering of anesthetic:
This was more of an annoyance, didn't cause any depression. Annoyance being your mouth being so dry, not being able to taste stuff that well (although it may save you with the hospital food lol).
Hormones:
I've never understood the link between hormones and changes of mental state. I think of it more as physiological changes that the mind adjusts to where one might perceive as originating from the mind; e.g., less spontaneous energy from less testosterone. Just my two cents could be completely wrong. For me it was more of a psychological thing being off estrogen, because I've always been paranoid about being off of it in terms of feminization.
Repetitious sleep, eating, and dilating:
For me sleeping was again a bit more of an annoyance rather than depression, being only able to sleep on your back (which really started to hurt my ribs after a while) – if you're a back sleeper this will be no problem. Eating was actually fun for me. I've had an eating disorder in the past, and subsequently always am either at or below my caloric requirements. Surprisingly I enjoyed focusing on hitting my targets of protein intakes, as well as keeping the healthy veggies and fluids up. Dilating for me is a chore, just like doing the laundry or shoveling snow – not something I looked forward to, not something I disliked. Just separate yourself from whatever you're doing, get it done, and that's it!
Exhaustion:
Again this really didn't cause depression as there's an immediate task of managing that exhaustion that overcomes any focus on being depressed about it. For example, the first time I was able to actually shower normally, I came close to fainting. I'm unsure if I didn't get enough oxygen or what, but I had to get out of the shower, lay down and catch my breath. Then I felt better and went on my way. It was an isolated incident.
Lifting/Driving:
Lifting wasn't a big deal, I just lifted things one at a time, so instead of a bag of groceries, I'd just take a box, can, bottle of food at a time. It was funny though – when you can't bend over at first, if you drop something on the floor it might as well be if you had dropped it in the ocean. Keep a good grip on things! Not being able to drive was kind of boring
It all gets better day by day, granted it's slow. So each day is a little better than the last. For me the surgery confirmed my gender. It's almost like starting a new life, so don't start it out being depressed! Find something you enjoy to occupy your time – a good book, game, show, something. Look out the window and enjoy the nice weather and think of all the people enjoying it that day and how soon you'll be able to join them, this time as your true self and happier! Good luck with your journey Sam!!
