regret

[Contravene]

I kind of wish I had told someone how I felt about my gender when I was younger so certain people in my life could look back and see that I've always been dysphoric and that this isn't just some recent phase. Since I'm living in such a transphobic environment though it may have done more harm than good so it's not even worth worrying about it and regretting it.

[NathanielM]

It sneaks up on me sometimes, yes. It's useless because I can't change it. I figured I was trans when I was about 12-13 years old and waited until I was 19 to do something about it. I had enough problems I though and if I just kept going I'd be okay. Wrong!

Except when I do get regretfull, I think about and realise I probably wasn't wrong. I was right! I had too many other issues until I was 19. I wasn't ready. I can't even begin to imagine what a trainwreck my social transition would've been if the scared, depressed and very negative 16-year-old-me would've started it without working through everything I worked through to even get to my 19th.

The timing was perfectly right. I was ready when I was 19 (almost 20 actually). And I'm very proud and glad that I started when I needed to and was ready to go.

[AdamMLP]

This is me exactly.  If it helps, I'm 52 and still wondering why I didn't figure it out until now.   I went through, and am still going through,  a lot of rollercoaster emotions when I did come to terms with  being trans*.  Today is a good day! You will have good days, too.  I promise.  Breathe through the confusing and dark ones. You'll come out on the other side soon.

BTW, I've got TWO therapists and a couple of very good friends guiding me through this. I highly recommend finding  someone stable  who you can trust and talk about how you feel to them.  Even if they don't understand the trans* thing, they'll get that you are distressed.  My therapists and friends help me stop spinning all the time.

Chris

Not sure if all of this is aimed at me or to the OP because of the way you've quoted, but don't worry, I've completely come to terms with it these days, (or as much as dysphoria will allow anyway.)

[Dandy Dunker]

Thanks you everyone your advice and experiences gave me some hope, incase your wondering I have been seeing a therapist for three months and it helped and going to a support group did too I get burst of depression that really do a toll on me emotionally and I am grateful I am starting my transition now

[Jess42]

Thanks you everyone your advice and experiences gave me some hope, incase your wondering I have been seeing a therapist for three months and it helped and going to a support group did too I get burst of depression that really do a toll on me emotionally and I am grateful I am starting my transition now

This has to be the best place ever for help or info or jstothe experieces closest to your own. Depression sux. But we are here. You are not alone.

[Taka]

lucky teenager.
if only i could have gotten help back then... but with my intolerant parents i gave up after just 2 min of consideration and decided to become a perfect member of my gaab instead. should be possible since i'm bi right...?
needless to say, i failed hard. only ten years later did i try to think about it seriously again.

that's something to regret, don't you think...?
except i don't. my mistakes have also given me a lot to be happy about, and i wouldn't want to miss out on those.