I have problems with narcolepsy which goes hand in hand with having CFS/ME so I spend quite a bit of time in the dreamscape. I've just woken up so I'm still feeling as if I'm in two places at once, but the events within the dreamscape have gifted me something that I no doubt will be mulling over in the days ahead.
At one point in the dream I was with some guys in a workshop next to scrapyard and we were working on cars. I was dressed as I used to dress before I came to religious life in my usual post transition biker girl/diesel dyke style and my hair was long as I used to wear it back then. I told the guys I had a 29 'T' rod and there it was in the workshop. Not shiny, but a true rat rod. The guys asked me what I was going to put in it and I said I was going to put a six cylinder engine in it. As expected they protested and said I should put a V8 in it instead, but I said no and proceeded to explain why I preferred six in line engines. I then went out into the scrap yard and found myself a Jimmy Six and using a chain hoist I lowered into the engine bay on my car.
Later in the dream I was walking with my elderly Mum along a road in a semi-rural landscape. I had a good distance to go and Mum was tiring. The sun was hot and it was dry and dusty. Just as Mum couldn't go any further we met a woman and her two daughters and they said that Mum could stay with them and rest while I went ahead. In the dream I'd taken my shirt off and tied the arms around my waist so my breasts were exposed, but I wasn't at all bothered about that. One of the woman's daughters asked her mother if I was a man or a woman, only I replied first and I said I wasn't either I was just me.
I continued my journey and the daughter who had asked the question walked with me. As we walked along we talked. The way ahead was getting steeper and I remarked that it was just as well that Mum didn't have to walk this part with me. It was hot and dry and soon we were talking less and simply putting one foot in front of the other. On reaching the top of the hill I saw that there was a small town, a very ordinary kind of place, but parts of it were still under construction. From the top of the hill there was an amazing view of the sea.
I woke up then because someone was ringing our doorbell and fortunately my daughter answered the door because I was very much half in and out of the dreamscape. But even at that point I understood that I'd moved on past the pain of discovering that I was a DES child and it didn't really matter if my doctor was able to find me a suitably skilled therapist or not.
