Friends?

[-May-]

To put a long story short, I don't have any real friends x.x

Everybody else has friends already and I can't seem to fit in anywhere.
Everybody knows me and that I am not going to talk to them and it would be weird if I tried.

I am jealous of everyone. I am jealous when I hear they had a nice day with their friends. I am jealous when I see they hug each other. I am jealous when I see they do everything together, and they laugh and smile.

I want to have somebody to spend my time with too. Who I can talk to about all my worries and who would hug me when I am sad. I want to be able to have somebody to hang out with, to take silly photos with. I want to have a nice time.

I wasted all of my childhood, I am 17 and I did nothing. I never had friends, I never hang out with anybody, there goes all of my precious youth. Life can only get a lot harder from this point on, I am an adult very soon.

I can't stand being alone anymore and I can't manage to get out of this situation and I am super shy.

And here I go crying again. I cry everytime I think about how I wasted my life...

Anyway, I just felt like getting it out of my mind since I obviously don't really have anyone to talk to x.x

[Mariah]

Hi May. It's always good to vent. It can take time and your young yet. In time you should be able to make some local friends, but regardless we are always here for you. Hugs
Mariah

[Peep]

I was in the exact same position in highschool (I'm assuming you're in school if you're 17...) but i made a conscious effort when i went to uni and managed to change my situation. Every time you move on to a new stage in life - moving school, job, house - you get a chance at a fresh start...

[Laura_7]

You did not waste anything.
Often young people are immature.
If you make friends a bit later its well possible its a better fit.
Just take your time.
And you might try situations where you can meet people slowly.
Like a photography club... or whatever there is at school...
taking a course at community college...
so you have something in common too...

here is a thread for young trans people...
maybe you can say again you'd like to chat...
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,195129.msg1746541.html#msg1746541

and there is a lso a chat on susans...

many *hugs*

[Ms Grace]

I was the same as you - my first two years at university were extremely painful and lonely. This is common for introverted people in particular, it can be hard to reach out and connect and feel like you can trust and engage with people in a safe way. Towards the end of that second year I made a deliberate decision to reach out more. It might be a bit daft but I read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" and the tips in that really did help me start to break out of my self imposed isolation and learn not to be so sensitive and to value my worth as someone deserving of company and friendship. It's hard work, you have to put in a lot of effort and yes you can encounter jerks along the way who don't care about hurting your feelings but it is worth it because the majority of people you meet will be good to you if you're good to them.

[suzifrommd]

I wasted all of my childhood, I am 17 and I did nothing. I never had friends, I never hang out with anybody, there goes all of my precious youth. Life can only get a lot harder from this point on, I am an adult very soon.

No, dear, it gets easier. People around you are more mature and accepting (of everything about you) and you have more control over your life.

I'm wondering if this is something a good counselor could help you with. There could be some good suggestions about how to go about making friends.