My Yeson VFS experience

[anjaq]

You mentioned that your vouce started to break again, and that this is why you're considering going back on Clonazepam. That's why i said you're having to be on medication even after a year and a half post vfs.

Ah - no, I am not taking it. I may have felt frustrated sometimes, but usually if I stay calm and focus on relaxing my voice, it is really good nowadays. Its just old habits and lazyness that sometimes make trouble

[Ritana]

I got you.

So the key is to stay calm and speak with relaxed vocal cords?

[anjaq]

I got you.

So the key is to stay calm and speak with relaxed vocal cords?

Staying calm ist good. The key is to find the place where the vocal chords are relaxed and work best. Hint: Its not when you totally relax them so you get vocal fry and it is not the same way as it was before the surgery when you tried to relax it by just going low.
I still sometimes loose it - am not sure when my vocal chords are at the optimum or when I let them too loose (then they basically are foced to produce lower sounds and flapa round like a loose sail on a sailing boat) or when I make them too tight (which means forcing the pitch up instead, like putting a lot of tension on that sail on the boat)

[Denjin]

Husky means you probably loose too much air when speaking. You may have a glottal gap that is not closing properly. This could come from using your old phonation patterns. The thing is - the way we used our voices before the surgey does not exactly work anymore. The trained modifications to change resonance or pitch do not work properly and can distort the new voice or make it less good, actually. Speaking in the old pitch also does not properly work.
One needs to find a new way. I think a good way is to somehow learn to relax about the voice. Talk softly, not trying to argue or to be loud - just very softly, relaxed and calm and see what happens. In my case the pitch is quite high then - around 190-200 probably - and the resonance is actually quite ok - but it breaks down if I force the voice using old patterns - I am still learning, but there are ways to make the voice louder that do not need force - basically staying relaxed but using more air which requires better breathing (abdominal breathing) - and not be afraid of using more air - more air means actually that there will be less air that is lost  its a bit of a paradox but has to do with aerodynamics. What I cannot control yet is if I am in an argument, discussion or try to be decisive or basically explaining someone what I need or what s/he has to do, then my voice is forced and gets lower and not as good resonance...

Thanks, Anja.  I guess I still don't have it figured out.  Sometimes it all seems normal and then I'll be speaking in the old pattern and my throat feels all tight and doesn't sound right.  My pitch is pretty good no matter what, at 225Hz most of the time, at least.

[anjaq]

Yeah same here - sometimes it is good and sometimes old patterns come up. I feel however that things improve with time - lots of time - lol - I guess people who are singers  or liked to do voices have it easier

But now, usually it is good most of the time and the times it does not work right are the exception.

Also - even if it is not so good, I still do not get misgendered at that moment, so this gives me confidence

[Denjin]

Glad it's working out, Anja.

I do need to find a voice coach or something, but I'm generally quite happy with it all.  I went from 160 to 220 or so, which seems good.  Just need to refine a few things since I have so much presentation speaking!

[anjaq]

220 is neat! I only have 180, but so be it - sometimes it is 200 or 220. I think probably my voice even works better at 200 or 220, but it tends to fall lower.

[Denjin]

220 is neat! I only have 180, but so be it - sometimes it is 200 or 220. I think probably my voice even works better at 200 or 220, but it tends to fall lower.

It is all quite different now.  Is there some reason my voice would be more different at 7  months than it was at 5 months?  I thought all the healing happened early on? Today I tried to do some fake low voice, but on the recording the Hz was exactly the same just the resonance was wrong.  I don't really know how to talk low any  more unless I try and do darth vader or something. My lowest possible voice where I try and literally sound like darth vader is 178Hz now.

[anjaq]

Wow thats fantastic - so your development does work - And yes - it is not a joke when Dr Kim says it takes 12 months to adapt to the new voice and reach the final result. I think it is actually even longer - I notice things after 20 months that are still changing.

I envy you a bit for not going below 178 though - if I really try a low voice, it can be at 140 Hz or even 130 - luckily it seems to be perceived by most to be a fake low voice

[Inarasarah]

Thanks for pointing me to your thread.  It is very encouraging to read about your experiences.

I just need to wait until the new year now.  Thanks Denjin!! 

-Sarah

[Denjin]

It's been just over nine months now. Any recordings that would be of use to anyone? Any i use from this point on will not be online for very long, though.

Not much change in ages, but I do need to find a voice coach as I still don't really get how to use my voice properly (compared to how I spoke before).

[Denjin]

Are there any good online resources about resonance?  I saw a few and the descriptions are fairly facile and at a cursory glance I don't seem to be doing it too poorly.  However, my resonance is still not great.  My old, pre-surgery, way of modifying my resonance makes my voice sound better but the average Hz gets up to about 240 which is too high and not  where I want to be.

[Inarasarah]

What are you currently doing to practice?  I am curious since I am just over 30 days out from going to Yeson.  I would love to hear more about what you have been doing post vfs to train your voice.  Thx

-Sarah

[Denjin]

Hi, Sarah.  Good luck!  Not long now!

Yeson gives you some exercises to do.  I think they are buried in this thread somewhere, but if not I can dig them out again.  I know I have posted them in the forum at some time for others...  Basically they seem like the lessons singers are given.  You hold a tone, then go up and down in range, and do scales.  Then a couple of resonance ones - nothing particularly 'trans' focused, though.

My problem is the method I used for resonance before surgery was combined with raising my pitch and I don't know how to separate the two parts.

For example, here is the latest that I sent to Yeson for my 9 months post.  They said my fundamental frequency is 228Hz.  However, I think my resonance is worse than my pre-surgery voice...granted I was trying quite hard on that one.

Rainbow passage - 9 Months
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0eD1rS4mxwy 🔗

[Inarasarah]

Fortunately I am no stranger to vocal exercises thanks to my singing background.  I am hoping that comes in handy.

Thanks again.  30 more days...

[Denjin]

Hi

It's been a year now...crazy how time flies.

My before rainbow passage recording
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0LtnLUNRO6r 🔗

One year recording sent to Yeson
http://vocaroo.com/i/s12Wj6B3E1jm 🔗

I still don't have resonance back quite how it should be since I need to find a new voice trainer. But, I'm pretty happy overall! The before recording was me trying a bit, it definitely wasn't my 'normal' Hz.

[Inarasarah]

Sounding really good there.

I am 4 days away from the 2 month mark.  My next door neighbor mentioned that she can hear a difference.  I am often not sure how much they want to sound encouraging, but she shounded genuine the other even  when we chatted over the fence.  I hope you are happy with your results Denjin

Huggs,
Sarah

[Denjin]

Sounding really good there.

I am 4 days away from the 2 month mark.  My next door neighbor mentioned that she can hear a difference.  I am often not sure how much they want to sound encouraging, but she shounded genuine the other even  when we chatted over the fence.  I hope you are happy with your results Denjin

Huggs,
Sarah

2 months is SOO early, don't worry! I had a pretty good voice before (passed without question), but I still spoke with someone who hadn't seen me in 2 years the other day and was told I sounded totally different and had to make up some explanation.

[Inarasarah]

You are very right, 2 months is way early.  I can hear some difference, but I am even waiting to do recordings until the end of the week.  I am able to have short conversations and meetings provided I have lots of water to drink