Borderline personality disorder, who has it too?

[2cherry]

Feel free to move this topic, as I could not find a good forum to post this in.

I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder a while ago. It's one of the worst mental illnesses, and it's loaded with stigma's: ignorance and prejudice about those who suffer from it. In addition I also have OCD, and major depressive disorder.

I wonder if there is someone like me. Do you have diagnosed borderline?

Please respond if you do, I'm currently trying to cope with that on top of my gender-dysphoria. I can't get borderline treatment yet, because it takes a while before I can go in. I'm in a lot of fear on what it all means and what will happen...

[FTMax]

Hi there,

I was diagnosed with BPD during college. There are definitely ways of addressing it and working to manage it. What kind of treatment are you planning to have? I have had a lot of success with DBT. This website offers some online courses in DBT that you might find helpful if you wanted to start working on things now:

http://emotionallysensitive.com/

[2cherry]

Probably DBT, schema therapy...

It's getting worse lately, and may also have bipolar, at last I do have mania where I want to do a million things.

[Ubiq]

I am diagnosed bipolar, however, my symptoms seem much closer to a BPD (reactive rather than random). I asked the person who gave me the diagnosis about it, and her explanation was that as a psychiatrist, she can only diagnose what are known to be mental/neurological imbalances, as opposed to personality disorders. She recommended me to see a psychologist or psychotherapist for a BPD diagnosis, which I have not done yet.

DBT, as mentioned before, is known to be an effective method of treatment. If something happens that I can instinctively feel provoking an unnecessarily strong reaction, I much prefer isolation and seclusion until I can get my mood under control. People who know me are slowly coming to understand that solitude is a very integral part of my functioning, and I simply will not be happy or stable without it. I have also strove to work wherever my interaction with others is minimal as well, which is another necessary part of my stability.

[2cherry]

I much prefer isolation and seclusion until I can get my mood under control. People who know me are slowly coming to understand that solitude is a very integral part of my functioning, and I simply will not be happy or stable without it. I have also strove to work wherever my interaction with others is minimal as well, which is another necessary part of my stability.

Great explanation, thanks!

[amberwaves]

I, too, have borderline personality disorder.  It is a terrible beast that crushes your soul and leaves everyone else confused.  It is incredibly difficult to deal with the impulsivity and the emotional liability. I've learned to deal better with the splitting.  Therapy is useful. I have not done DBT though I imagine it is very useful.

As far as dealing with transgender issues and bpd together it has been interesting. I only connected the dots to discover gender dysphoria bring the root of certain problems back in November.  Knowing that I have bpd had made me extremely cautious to rush into anything.  In fact the persistence of the feelings and desire to transition has been a clue to me that I am not just imagining things out being impulsive.  Typically my flights of fancy will last 2 months tops.  This has remained.

It was interesting to discuss my being transgender with those who know I have bpd.  Many of them assume it is the bpd.i have to explain things more than I would like. One thing that stands out as being much more difficult about transitioning, or even being transgender, with bpd is the extreme sensitivity to perceived rejection.  It makes things rocky with friends and even skills over into my interaction in the community here at Susan's.

I have been active in a few other threads, but lately I have been very distant. It's entirely due to my bpd. Some new girls entered the thread and my comments/input was finished and subconsciously I take that as a rejection of myself. I know it is wrong,  but it is incredibly hard to do much about. It makes it very hard to reach out to others for support and to help support others. That is one of the terribly things about the disorder it makes it very hard to seek and receive help.

Feel free to message me if you need any support put just need to vent.

Hugs,
Amber

[2cherry]

Amber!

Thank you so much for reaching out and posting this! I can relate so much to your (and previous commenter) posts... our transition can indeed be extra brutal because of the sensitivity we have. I hope I will be able to control my impulsivity, because it only brings problems and misunderstanding. So indeed, I am distant and avoid being around people because of my fears and impulsivity... being let down all my life... sometimes I feel I've never grown up, and that I am still an adolescent...

[amberwaves]

I've gotten a little better over the years about controlling the impulsivity. I can't wait until I start hrt to reduce/remove the sexual urge temptation. When you are reckless and impulsive it is very easy to give in to that urge for a short term thrill and (false) feeling of acceptance.

I had to discover I had bpd on my own. I spent years trying to figure out my problem to no avail.  After I learned of bpd it took forever to start getting help.i was told I couldn't have it because I want a woman, I had been married for to long and didn't fit the unstable relationship criteria.  Never asked our cared about my childhood, a key component of when bpd is developed. Last year I learned my mom was diagnosed with bpd. Just an uphill fight all the way.

Things aren't great, but they are tolerable. I am more stable than in the past but it's still a constant struggle. I have learned that I can't continue to be distant all the time. In the moment, i still struggle with percieved vs actual for others intent and such, but the amount of time to return to a more baseline emotional state I'd better.  All said and done it's an emotional rollercoaster from help

[2cherry]

Yeah there is a lot of misdiagnosis... main thing for BPD seems to be a problem with regulating emotions. That can express itself through many things. I can't regulate my emotions, so when angry I can't control myself. When sad, I can't control it, when happy, I can't control it and it get out of hand quickly... then I have a 100 ideas, but don't follow through on any of them. I buy things I don't need, and so forth. It really wrecks my life.

Same with having OCD, people think that if I have OCD I wash my hands 100 times a day. Well, I don't, but some do. I'm more of the memory OCD: constantly hearing and repeating words in my head, have to read license plates (and remembering them), doing things over, and over and over. Sometime annoying, but it makes me peaceful. Never knew I had OCD, but apparently I have it.

[CGx1871]

I have anxiety, depression, bipolar, and borderline. And I am also female born male. My borderline symptoms have skyrocketed to scary levels 4months in on hormones. I'm very afraid and don't know what to do besides the obv of seeing doctors. But wanted to let ppl know they aren't alone like I feel. I do know my identity is solid and separate yet compounding unfortunately.