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Thinking out loud

Started by Drexy/Drex, September 26, 2016, 09:24:08 PM

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Drexy/Drex

#40
I sure hope so :)
Yes  before weight training I was quite slim ....in retrospect a perfect candidate for hrt
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Drexy/Drex

 So here i am in pattaya thailand , been clubbing with friends but soon to get down to business  ie the transition  clinic
Its kinda ironic that because of the prostrate  hypertrophy  i,m taking Dutasteride in the morning and and Finasteride at night
Between the both they are mopping up dht ....had to do it  choice between surgery which may or may not go right  not to mention time off work and anyway it was getting  to be a desperate  situation a few times there i thought i would need a catheter. ....out in the middle of no where , at work so like it or not my t levels are dropping i can notice as my emotions  are coming back ,   so in a way this is Markies last blowout
i,m ripped at 100kg the women here love it they are more forward than western woman
But heres the kicker ....i thought at the end of this contract i could take off go on hrt etc quietly. .... but no our company  has just got another contract which means another year of work which is good ... but means i,m going to have to go thŕough hrt in front of my peers well if i cope any flak i will explain that they are privileged to witness  an alpha male turn into female ....me myself i would find it fascinating to see such a thing
All my associates are  body builders, bikers, martial arts , construction workers , so this is going to be strange .... i hope the shop that is rebuilding my chopper gets it done before i get obvious  lol ..... oh well i should be throughly  desensitized  at the end so that will be helpful
Thing is i don't  intend to blend i intend ( at least thats the plan) to be quite obivious but only because  i want it to be that way
I cant not do it because a year is to long , the girls at the bar reckon i,ve got between b and c cup pecs ....soooo i expect hrt will add to that 😨😕😰
Hmmm i see so many silly old men around here looking for sex .....i dont know now they do it i,m much younger and fitter etc no end of offers....but i have zero intrest in sex..... in fact on my first visit to phuket thailand to learn thai boxing after a while some thai people  asked if i was a policeman  as i did not womanise etc .....
Anyway for me to enjoy sex i need an emotional connnection .....hmmm go figure ☺


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Drexy/Drex

looking around there are so many different styles of female clothing. ..what ever you want very tempting but.i.cant cross.dress.it makes me depressed  and i happened across a couple
of wig shops hundreds of.styles. ..what caught my eye was some that were done in dreadlock styles just what i like
full human hair wigs top of.the range are $729
and most.of them are made for hot climates
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Drexy/Drex

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Raell

Gracious! So many people from these forums come to Thailand.

I am currently living in southern Thailand, and have been teaching here since 2010. I'm not trying to transition, but find it much easier to live here, among people with such a high percentage of mixed gender people. I feel at home here.
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Drexy/Drex

Hi I do understand how that can be ....I too e eventually want to move there too
I desire to transition to the 3rd gender I'm not sure how I will do this but it is what will complete me as a human being ....I will when I have the bandwidth post a couple of photos so that it can be seen what I have to contend with it Will be not be easy for me.
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Raell

I keep saying that in Thailand, transwomen either call themselves women, or Third Gender women. The gay men, kathoey, who wear women's clothing are the so-called "she-males" sought by secretly bisexual Western men, but identify as male.

But I see people of all gender presentations and identity varieties going about everyday work here, and that's refreshing. One male-bodied school superintendent was wearing make up and a glittering pants suit, had coiffed hair, yet had a grizzled chin and a booming voice, wore men's shoes and appeared to consider himself male. Two different female-bodied teachers at schools where I taught, dressed totally as men, down to the shoes.

Because of the way Thai use pronouns I don't have to guess genders when I address them, as people use gender reflexive self-pronouns in each sentence.

So, yes, it was a GREAT relief moving here. I didn't even realize how oppressive the evangelical Christian gender binary culture was until I got here, and it was GONE. Or at least, greatly reduced.

I wish I could see you if you move here, but I'm living off the beaten track, close to the Malaysian border, on a peninsula near the beach, and most expats move to big cities like Bangkok or Chiang Mai.

It's wonderful here, though, in a small city near the biggest one in the south..Hat Yai.
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Drexy/Drex

Yes  indeed it is exactly refreshing , I've been wary of the south due to insurgents... How ever should I get enough time I would be happy to drop by and say hi :  )
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Raell

The insurgency activity is about 3 hours south of me, in Narathiwat Province.

I actually taught there for one term because my boss quadrupled my salary if I'd go, so I did it as sort of dare, since nobody else would go!

But Thailand is a very large, long country, so don't worry about it. If expats do go south, they usually go to Phuket, which I avoid because of the tourist trap prices.

If I'm near Phuket, I go to Krabi, Aunung, or take a speed boat to Mu Ko Similan National Marine Park

That's where I am in this photo:

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Drexy/Drex

Oh OK  isee....you're  very brave for doing that :) it looks lovely there
Next time I'm in Thailand I want to go to lonely Beach koh  Chang  my doctor in bangkokl told me about it he said I should go there to relax ,I think it may not be to far from your location
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Raell

#50
Well, it's up to you how far you want to take transition, and what appearance modifications you want, but you look OK to me.

The girl with you looks like a kathoey, or "she-male." If so, she would be a female-dressing gay male who takes hormones but is otherwise intact. Like I've said, in Thailand, they are sex workers, mostly for secretly bisexual western males in the sex tourist trade.

You may have noticed that Thai people in general have low levels of gender hormones, are very mixed gender, androgynous, etc. Thai girls tend to have figures like 10-year-old boys; thin thighs, flat chests, no butts, etc., while the young men tend to be slender, graceful, pretty, no body hair.

Caucasians, on the other hand, tend to look like gender hormone exaggerations..men typically have heavy beards, blocky movements, balding heads, thick body hair, thick bodies, extreme interest in "manly" pursuits such as sex, sports, etc.

Caucasian women tend to have plenty of curves; large breasts, big hips, fat butts, exaggerated female traits, tend to avoid sports, be non-athletic, be interested in shopping, scream at the sight of vermin such as bugs, mice, etc.

The Thai in general, seem very "meh" about sex, in fact, many married couples I know don't even live in the same town. They dress conservatively, and both genders of all ages join in together many types of traditional Thai sports. If I'm passing by, I usually get invited to join in the game also, or I'll stay to cheer them on.

Unlike the sexual orientation-obsessed Americans, they often seem OK with going either way in sex, as long as it's to their advantage. If you're white, you could get hit on by both genders, since green cards, and/or money are often/usually the goals.

Even at my age (64) I get hit on constantly by both genders, and their being married or not seems irrelevant.
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Drexy/Drex

Yes i have noticed the fluidity of the genderrealty it is as you say, now I have a better understanding of what a kathoey is , yes indeed that femme was a worker  who wanted to service me but ...I am a bit "meh" about sex too ,but I cop a lot of friendly flak at work from my workmates about ladyboys etc, so I like I take photos and post them on Facebook to stir them up :) there have been a few amusing time s when I have shown a homophobes some photos
and then adjusted there reality's lol
Yes Thai people are quite androgynous...and they are generally a happy bunch when they get together it really is a laid back society in many ways I'm going learn Thai at a school when I get the visa and time eventually I want to move there but it may not be a touristy type place because as noted it is more expensive it all depends on what you want , I'm not  very materialistic so I don't need much to be happy
No wonder you get hit on you dont look  64
I dont get hit on by males  but then I think I may be a bit intimidating for them
but its different with the kathoueys and females
thered I a bar i like to go and I just have a few drinks with the manager and owner both  females and we just have a laugh and watch music videos...the worker girls could not work me out ...as I was null to their advances eventually they clicked and stopped pawing me
Mmmm well I thought those photos gave a better insight for myself on how I look yes I guess i do look okay but with transiton I do want to modify my body to a more femme state but remain intact as I prefer woman, there is another thread on these forums talking about outside the ffs Box which is a gold mine as it addresses mods that I will need
My last trip I had my 4th laser body hair removal its something I want to address before full on hrt ...but I will do it before any surgeries ....to make sure I like it
But in any case life in Thailand appeals to me more than australia
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Drexy/Drex

Finally decided to get a wig ...passed 2 massive shops full of e very style you can imagine ...settled on a more or less unisex  dreadlocks one small.dreads with highlights on them
It was a real pleasure the assistant was very helpful
And a 50% human / 50% one cost me just 275 aid
I went back a second time I ask some questions and it seems there is chemistry between her and I

Went for 4th full body lazer hair removal ,I've been taking the appropriate dose of finistraside for bph
and its really making a difference with hair growth ,alas its making my body hair return much more than before
So the fini is really good for hair in my case ,and the bph symptoms are much better
Speaking to one of the girls about extensions she said only need 5cms so that's a.good thing and the staff directed me to a hair restoration clinic just down the road
that's what i like about pattaya every thing is packed in that seaside city plenty of competition so prices are very reasonable

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Drexy/Drex

getting off the bus today I was last to get off well not because my female coworker was sitting on the front seat as I passed she ladies first lol caught me off guard bus driver and her grinning at me as she followed me off ...she said now that's karma with a sweet smile ...she's quite a doll been all over the world ....buts it funny when I've got my mind focused on something I seem I pull in attributes concerning my thoughts ....
I used to be able to project my emotions without saying or doing things used to get me into trouble  it disturbs people that don't like it and I could never put it to good use..thoughts have wings
strange stuff like I had lost a size 13 ring spanner then one day I was riding my motorcycle down the road and there on the white line in the middle of the road  was a high quality 13 ring spanner ....what are the odds ?
in fact
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Raell

Ah, but we create our own universes.
We are the ones who make things real.
As you send out your intentions into the universe, it produces and brings what you order. But it produces any strong thought..good or bad. If you believe in bad luck, the universe brings that also.

Even in quantum physics, waves of light collapse into photon particles if they are observed, so our interactions with energy cause it to manifest as solid matter.
"Reality" stays in a suspended state of all possibilities, like with Schrodinger's cat, which could be considered either dead or alive, until someone looks in the box to see. Our intentions change the universe, and all our energy interacts continually.

Sounds like you're making progress, and congratulations on getting the wig!
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Drexy/Drex

Oh that really is refreshing someone who knows their way around I had many more experiences,what you say is exactly true, I have observed it many times and I like Schrodinger's cat, although I always feel sorry for it ...I like
Pussy cats : )
Oh thanks on the wig its a start I guess ,its an androgynous item so I can experiment with it
Oh  yes its true about what we postulate ...I always get what i want  ....but a lot of times what I get is slightly a skew if you know what I mean
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Raell

LOL! That's true, but only because the universe brings us any strong intention..good or bad. If we fear something, it happens also.

When Jesus said that if tell a mountain to move and throw itself into the sea (Mark 11:23 "Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them., it will obey us") the Greek word translated "believe" includes both conscious and UNconscious beliefs. If we had bad past experiences and believe we are doomed to repeat history, then the universe brings it to us, because that's the thought you have.

The universe is a "wish machine" that blindly does whatever we picture in our minds..good or bad.

Jesus wasn't incarnated on earth to show off, but to show humans that they have the same power he has.

In fact, the word translated "righteousness" in the Bible means "total equality" which means that the Bible is constantly telling us that we are the same as, and have same powers of GOD. Even the Prodigal Son story that Jesus told (Luke 15: 11-32), where the father represented God and the prodigal son who ran away, represented the worst of humans, in the end of the story the son found out that, the entire time he was gone, he had the full authority of his father and access to all his father's money.
Plus he had the same DNA.

The point of Jesus' story being that any lack we have is from our own mindset. The Prodigal Son was starving and broke because he didn't realize he could access his father's money and use his authority any time he wished.
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Drexy/Drex

#57
So this is not my story (or maybe It is for many but has been forgotten )  But is for many others... I can't imagine  how awful it would have been to know yet unable  to do anything. and even so to be branded  as mentally  ill and have to play the sistems  game  once one did have some control It's a good thing  times are changing  non binary  are recognised now albeit as " gender nonconforming


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Drexy/Drex

#58
So now I've  been  on finstriside for about 3 months and it appears  to acting as a T blocker
ie: I've  lost about 10kg on my bench press 150kg down to 140kg and 20kg on squats  down from 160kg to 140kg
and unbelievably  I'm developing  breast  tissue under the nipples and to cap it all off last night one of the girls remarked that I was losing weight around  the face and body and that's without  estrogen  being introduced
my first milestone  was to get rid of body hair first before any feminisation  I'm  onto the 5th lazer session hopefully  there won't be much more
But even so I had one srt8 guy in camp after the wet mess closed start complimenting on my build etc laying it on real thick and  even followed me into the ice room..... makes me. wonder sometimes  I mean it's a camp out in the bush... I've been in larger camps where men have been found bleeding  and unconcious  where someones jumped them in the dark to get even
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Drexy/Drex

So anyway the other day on the bus to work someone  mentioned  that one site he had worked had a trans woman in the crew and that she was very pretty then the guy beside yelled out belligerently
"what a he/she !!" I was a dissapointed  as he's  a good guy so once we are in our  machines
I sent him a photo  of myself and a couple  of girls... He answered back "wow hotties"
So then I texted him yes they are transgender  : ) ....no response  ...I'm  thinking  the bus ride back to camp  will be interesting 
So in the bus He pipes up hey Markie show "R" those photos  so I do and they make their way around  the bus exclamations  of amazement  here and their when they realise the facts,  but no negativity and that originally antagonistic  guy is remarking on on the the designer  jeans and how hot she is, and then he has the cheek to say in front  of everyone  ...and what about you Markie would you?! everyone's  looking back at me grinning  but before  I can say anything  he says " you wouldn't  tell us anyway  aye " which just cracks up the whole bus me included.... It's the second  time I've used these photos  to defuse trans agro and the fact that im  like and respected helps and anyway in other people's  eyes I'm  too big to be messed with.... I have have dysmorphia I can't see my self properly  I think I'm the same size as the others around me
I had some even better  photos  on my dysphoria camera but that's lost in a Bangkok  taxi somewhere
I call it the dysphoria  camera as it made everyone else look good and made me look like crap
Now I have a new camera an oppo f9plus it is ironicly named the selfie expert as it has a 16mp 📷 on the back... Not that I'll  be using it any time soon





This quite a dysphoria photo for me as it really  highlights  my size etc basically  whole body dysphoria
I look  a bit better  for a male now as I've  had some threads and filler done but that's me after 2weeks dusk to dawn partying
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