Confused about gender new here. (always felt like a gay man)

[dmj23]

The standard lines.
Sexual preference is who you want to go to bed with.
Gender identity is who you want to go to bed as.

With us it can be a bit more complicated than that. We tend to experience dysphoria which is a discomfort with our body or our social role. In my case, I was mainly uncomfortable with my social role but having a body that matched the feminine role helps me blend it. I am comfortable with a somewhat boyish figure but I wouldn't be comfortable with a strong masculine body.

Transitioning isn't the primary goal of this site though many do. The objective of this site is to discover the role that yo are comfortable in and help you move into it. Some people are comfortable changing presentation and some are comfortable part time. Others like gender fluid or bi gender switch back and forth. The question you need to ask yourself about gender identity is 5 years from now, what do you see your life looking like. You don't need to give us an answer to that and you should take as much time as you want.

My thing is I don't understand gender roles really. Which is why it was hard for to call myself anything but a woman because of my physical facts like my outer appearance my fertility etc... Now my whole perception of myself is in a whirlwind.

I was at the therapist today though and some things annoyed me about her saying stuff that pertained to gender expectations that don't usually sit well with me. I hate it when people expect because I'm small that I must be very feminine. As in liking certain things women like etc...

[dmj23]

It doesn't affect me much physically only in small ways. But it has affected me mentally very much in ways I felt like I should have a different body etc... Like I just knew something was wrong. And physically it was weird because I started puberty at 6 years old. I had testosterone problems as a young child. Like when I was 4 I needed a razor and deodorant and I got a lot of hair growing up. And I grew actually fast as a young child then got cut off but I think that's more familial because of how short my family through my mom's father's family is. But for me majorly it affected my mind and perception like I said I always saw myself as a gay guy. Not a straight woman. And it's always been hard for me to truly claim being a heterosexual woman personally despite never having any interest at all in women. I don't even like straight porn because I don't find women attractive. Yet heterosexual term and woman term don't sit at all well with me.

everyones an individual , theres certainly a lot of diversity in how someone identifies themselves and how they relate to others and it can get complicated when your trying to look at this all as one when its really a mix of (my biology) (me being a woman or a man) (who I feel attracted to sexually) it seems in your case! but really unless its a problem for you, why make it an issue in the first place? I mean If your born female (regardless of the extra Y ) and its not affecting your function as a female then that in itself is not an issue, if your uncomfortable being born and living as a female then that can be an issue for you that you should pursue in that case. Sexual identity straight, gay? well as it has been clearly defined in previous posts, that would depend on how you see yourself as far as gender identity and being bi shouldn't matter either way! I am using binaries but its also fine not use definitions at all if you feel they constrict who you are! hope you find the answers your looking for!  


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