Educated opinions please: A physiological motivation to BEGIN transition

[another_special_grrl]

Hey all

I began to post this in an established thread; but when the li'l red, "DANGER Will Robinson" placard popped up to warn me of the threads relaxed status - I figured it might be best to just begin anew . . .

In the vein of - "pre-trans' hormone levels", I'm wondering how much credence I may give to severe O.P.I.A.D.S. being a primary 'catylist', if you will - for my decision to BEGIN M2F transition at such a late stage in life.

Maybe someone can steer me towards valid research - even anecdotal evidence - referencing drastically low T counts and the severity of Gender Dysphoria?

[Deborah]

I have been here awhile and while this is anecdotal it does seem to hold true.

Pre-HRT T levels are not a factor in GD.  Some here, me included, had pretty high T levels.  Others here had low T levels.  We all had the same GD and HRT relieved it just the same.


It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
André Gide, Autumn Leaves

[another_special_grrl]

So, I originally had decided that I would investigate transition back in my late 20's . . .
I KNEW I wasn't "right", right - and, I was SURE that I was attracted to non-binary/trans humanils, without the profane label of a ">-bleeped-<" (tyvm)

I had moved to Westport KCMO where I was in the process of vet'ing a Physician; when I was called upon to take on the responsibility of rearing my 3 year old daughter; as a single parent - we are talking about the 1990's, there were porno flix, I only KNEW one Trans-Female and knew OF one more 

So, at that time I opted for my kid's sanity and social comfort over my own; I figured I could safely do time as an OVERCOMPENSATING Harley riding badass MALE for the duration 

Skip to her entering the 5th grade (2001 ish), and me beginning a 12 year stint on ever increasing (up to nearly euthenasia levels) of (1st) morphine > 48mg Q24 hours intra-thecally = 'IT' (in the spine), then dilaudid >51mg Q24hrs (IT), finally forced OFF of IT therapy due to the presentation of a spinal granuloma - transitioning to fentanyl in early May 2014 100mcg Q48hrs transdermally; my baby by then in her Jr. year of College; by September of '14 my dysphoria had progressed to the point that I absolutely could not stand to behold the unrecognizable face staring back from the mirror

When my Endo' queried, "Why NOW", my explanation was that I'd JUST come off of a decade + of extremely high dose narcotic pain control therapy - akin to a "virtual coma" - to whit he replied, "Makes complete sense!", and combined with a letter from the Mental Health Provider - the rest is history as they say

My curiosity is due to the voracity with which the dysphoria set in; it was indescribably intense; like a "do or die" situation . . . there simply did not now seem to BE a "choice" to be or not to be, as I'd had so many years earlier

Make any sense?

[Deborah]

Yes, it makes sense.  The same thing happens to a lot of us.  I held it at bay for various reasons for decades.  Eventually I lost the will to live and found myself praying for death every night.  So, then I did something.


It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
André Gide, Autumn Leaves

[Jean24]

There's lots of evidence showing that MtF transsexuals have damaged androgen receptor genes which make them less efficient at soaking up T (but not E).

Essentially MtF transsexuality is actually an intersex condition - mild AIS.

[Jacqueline]

Thanks for sharing all that info.

I was either in deep denial or too clueless to get where all signs pointed for almost my whole life. Like so many others, at 50 I was in deep depression and approaching self harm as well.

I can say the change since starting therapy and HRT has been night and day. My wife is not excited about me transitioning but is so relieved I am better and says she likes the person I have become better.

....it does make sense.

On another note. It looks like you might have created a second account here. It is against the policies of the site to have two active accounts. If this is the case, and you are cool with it, I will remove the one with no posts. Just drop me a line on this thread or if you reach 15 posts, private message me.

With warmth,

Joanna

[LizK]

Low T certainly helped me understand that I was much happier without it. I then had injections to get me back to within "normal male limits" which almost made be go completely nuts...I hated it. Certainly made my choice of going on E easier,

My low T is caused by my narcotic pain medication  causing the signals to produce T to stop being sent. I understand the fog of narcotics when the dosage is out. I have an implanted pump which delivers meds to my spinal fluid so it can act directly on my brain. It is the best thing that happened to me and I have achieved almost total control. The pump can be programmed to deliver certain amounts and certain times and mine does. I don't think these meds have any real value as far as GID goes but they do tend to keep you is a state of preoccupation.

It doesn't really matter "why now" although I have been asked this many times...My parents and family felt it had been such a secret from the world how could it possible be true. It was a secret from them but not the rest of the world as this is my third attempt to transition and my second one in 10 years. I won't fail this time...gone too far with too much water under the bridge. I think so long as you remain realistic you will be fine.

Liz

[kelly_aus]

There's lots of evidence showing that MtF transsexuals have damaged androgen receptor genes which make them less efficient at soaking up T (but not E).

Essentially MtF transsexuality is actually an intersex condition - mild AIS.

Got any scientific studies to support this claim, as I've never come across any similar theories from the medical profession..