Advice on coming out in public.

[Mikka55]

Advice Please
So next week I am going to a Simple Plan concert with my ex, she is very supportive and she suggested that I start coming out in public, put on make up and start dressing up as a female. I am very very excited to be honest, but this is also my first time coming out can any one please share any stories or experiences about coming out in public and what to expect?
I am excited but also nervous. First time being my other side.

[Michelle_P]

Advice Please
So next week I am going to a Simple Plan concert with my ex, she is very supportive and she suggested that I start coming out in public, put on make up and start dressing up as a female. I am very very excited to be honest, but this is also my first time coming out can any one please share any stories or experiences about coming out in public and what to expect?
I am excited but also nervous. First time being my other side.

Just do it!  In particular, keep your head up, shoulders back, and keep smiling with lips slightly apart.  That projects confidence, 'I am supposed to be here,' and throws doubt into the minds of anyone who questions your presentation.  Seriously.  Attitude and confidence is really communicated by posture. 

Most people in a crowd are just focused on themselves, trying to walk without tripping or running into someone, worried about how long the line might be at the restroom or concession stand, of the band will play their fave.  They are not normally inspecting others for signs of being trans.

If you are slouching, head down, shoulders forward like you are trying to be small, others read that as being frightened or intimidated, and ancient responses will trigger some to try and dominate,  looking closer and possibly clocking you.

So, get out there, be proud, and have a great time at the show!

[Rhonda333]

Completely agree and practice, practice, practice in front of someone else in heels. Watch women walk- they generally take smaller steps and they lead with their hip not shoulders the way men do. Watch how they sit. Mother spent many hours drilling me in the female arts and it paid off. I was rarely made. Now it does not happen at all- I think.

[Shy]

For me, I just did it. I knew I wanted the break the ice as soon as I'd come out to myself and not let things drag out any longer, 56years seemed like long enough to make up my mind.
Everyone is different though, find your happy place, where you're at now, and work with it.

Personally I was very self conscious for the first couple of ventures out, but once I realised nobody really gave a hoot how I presented it all became very normal. Had a very public makeover in a drug store to seal the deal that I was finally out.

Some days are still a challenge though, but on those days I make an extra effort to make it out the door as the best me I can be. I alway try to look forward and not back to the way things were.

I found I didn't have to practice my mannerisms much, things just seem to happen naturally all on their own. I now hardly ever walk with my hands at my sides, striding out bloke fashion. I like to hold them just below my chest with shoulders back and down. I can't tell you how comfortable and confident that makes me feel in public. A revelation for me.

I found my voice became softer when I spoke, i've always been shy but this was different. A lot of the impatience I used to have with people has gone. It's all just the real me surfacing from years of social awkwardness and hiding.
I seem to surprise myself every day. I still manage a lot better in crowds than one to ones though, but even then I've become way more sociable when conversations do strike up.

The people who are obviously uncomfortable with me I haven't got used to yet, and I can sometimes feel my old anxiety and awkwardness surfacing around them. But I haven't backed out of a situation yet, and I think that's key for me. Some things are just going to take longer and be more challenging than others.

So all in all a very positive experience so far. Some ups, some downs, some in-betweens, but isn't that the way with everyone on the planet? The only difference for me is that i'm now experiencing them as myself, which makes things a lot easier to manage.

Peace and best wishes

shy