Hi everyone. since my initial panic, things have calmed down a little. We have talked and talked and TALKED. Lots of emails/texts too as he 's been away a lot too. On thing that really helped was doing a wish list. I sent him mine and was surprised at how many things he was ok about (for example, to stay part time, sometimes only wear the underwear etc). He doesn't want to use his femme name any more - says he was never comfortable with it and only used it as it was expected for therapy purposes. Doesn't want to use feminine pronouns. He is putting gender therapy on the backburner for now too - not from my discouragement at all, his decision entirely. He is absolutely adamant that he never wants surgical transition and he likes his man parts. Always has!
However, he is still wondering about hormones, which is the stumbling block. He would like smoother skin and doesn't hide the fact that he would like some breast development. As I've said before, he has a bit of a thing about breasts - both as a sexual thing and because he'd like his own. I have said I will discuss, even though the prospect terrifies me. He says it's possible to take a dose with only minimal physical effects - he thinks they will just help his mind. He doesn't want to lose his sex drive. Of course to go down that route, he will have to go back to the therapist and do a gender clinic, so it could be some way down the road,
So, although we have a long road ahead of us, we are both a bit more relaxed. I'm happy for him to explore and express his feminine side as and when he feels he needs to. We are more in love than ever before, and having far more sex than we are used to in our advancing years! We are both much happier. He thinks my knowing has helped more than anything.
Thanks for all the help from folk on here so far. I know there are not too many SOs here, but it's also good to hear from 'husbands' too.
S
