Excuse my ignorance...

[Nina]

I've been thinking on a post yesterday, regarding regret transitioning and post op life.

I can't help but feel for that person or anyone who goes through that. I can't imagine having gone through therapy, hair removal, hormones, surgery...to end up unfulfilled and unhappy.

Colour me ignorant, but I assumed that when one goes through all those stages, they reach a happy spot. I cannot imagine the pain and regret. I had no idea.

☹️

[flytrap]

Thank you for pausing to share your feelings, Nina.

[Complete]

This is a very sad, occasionally tragic and highly emotional topic. It is also one of my pet peeves. Part of the problem,  as l see it, is the apparent, yet mostly denied,  sense of a trans-hierarchy. Many seem to place post-ops at the very top with those who have  managed to blend in and disappear as the ultimate. This false construct, which places a higher value one particular outcome or goal over another is what sets unreasonable and unrealistic and in many cases unattainable goals.
It is this completely false construct that leads many to make poor decisions, resulting in regret. Despite all the lip service paid to equality and inclusiveness it there is not enough value and accreditation given to non-trans choices such as non-binary and gender queer.

[babu]

I'm pretty ignorant, as I'm new to this, so my thoughts are on the broader issue to try and understand, and not any individual case. It makes me wonder if a potential problem of a dysmorphia occuring in relation to gender dysphoria is that it could continue as a dysmorphia no matter if the dysphoria is resolved by changing the body - rather being not the attributes of the body as object, but rather the nature of the action in the relationship between subject and object. Different problems are less frequently treated by the same methodology, if I had to guess, instead using gradual specific techniques to deal with the root cause instead of symptoms.

I wish there was some biological science to lean on with all this. I'm finding myself craving for answers so much lately, as I 'know' I am more fulfilled as female, but of male sex, and that is another story. As it doesn't upset me I'd like to understand it more, before transitioning. There must be something to the science of it, more then statistics? If there were more answers then there would be less suffering I'd image.

[JoanneB]

One thing, one very important thing, to keep in mind about transitioning, is that life is about.... living. Transitioning, or not, you still (well most) live on, one way or another. Needing to survive, rent, food, clothes, career, love, all those other things people do. It is a life changing event, not a magic pill. Day to day living still trudges on.

A little advertised fact about me is my wife, post-op some 30 years now. If you could ask her about GCS, she'll probably say wasn't a good idea. Women are second class citizens and are treated that way in so many ways. There is a vast difference in the medical care she is getting now with me making the rounds with her vs when I was living out of state. I think her biggest (un-spoken) reason why I should not transition is me loosing "Male Privilege". Hardly a week goes go when it's "Can you.......".  Then throw in life in general did not turn out as she hoped it would (wishfull, "magic pill thinking maybe"?). She certainly not lived or is living the one she thought or hoped for due to  many non-trans, just plain ole "life happens" reasons. All aggravated by being a member of the lucky to be alive club after a very traumatic injury as a kid which eventually caught up with her after 40 years.

I know in some aspects I would be far happier transitioning. I also know that many other, equally to even more important, aspects will likely go downhill quickly. Plus I get up at 5:30 AM as it is for work after a few hours of sleep. I need a good 45 minutes to put myself together assuming no closet explosions    And this gal used to be able to sleep to noon

As long as the "Good Days" greatly outnumber the "Bad Days", I can mostly deal with the challenges of this dual non-binary yet binary (or is it pulsar?) life of mine