Do you talk with your therapist about your sex life?

[KarlMars]

One therapist asked me about my sex life and I didn't like it. I wasn't comfortable with him or ready to talk about it. He was emotionally abusive as well. Later I heard he got arrested for sexual battery of a patient. My second therapist who was for trans therapy didn't ask and I didn't tell. I've considered myself asexual for quite some time now. I don't know if it's related to dysphoria. I'm starting with a really good therapist who I think I may be comfortable talking with sex about. I'm hoping to develop some sexuality after transition.

Do you think talking about sex with your therapist is an important part of your gender identity? If so was your therapist able to offer anything helpful in the way of your sexual problems due to dysphoria?

[Devlyn]

I've talked about it with my primary care physician a lot. The therapist asked the type of relationship I was in, whether it was abusive, all pretty standard questions that didn't make me uncomfortable at all.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Mendi]

I don't have any and haven't really understood much about in my life and now after start of hormones, the tiny amount that I had left of any desire, is gone. So, not much to talk about 

We've talked a bit about how I really cannot imagine, that in this life I would be again interested about sex and thus, the srs is something I want just for the looks, not for sex and would be happy for just cosmetic operation, which isn't offered here.

Oh well....

[KathyLauren]

My therapist asked about my sex life, in a general way, because she wanted to understand how my marriage was holding up under the stress of transition.  Seemed like a perfectly reasonable question under the circumstances.  I was a bit uncomfortable answering, but the reason for asking made sense, so I did answer.

More recently, a different therapist asked about in connection with helping me decide between full-depth vaginoplasty and a cosmetic procedure.  Obviously it is relevant to know what my prioritites are regarding actually needing a vagina.

Neither one asked for explicit details, and I likely would not have given them if asked.  But the kind of questions they asked were relevant in the situation, and digging for the answers was helpful to me in clarifying my needs and desires.

[KarlMars]

I don't have any and haven't really understood much about in my life and now after start of hormones, the tiny amount that I had left of any desire, is gone. So, not much to talk about 

We've talked a bit about how I really cannot imagine, that in this life I would be again interested about sex and thus, the srs is something I want just for the looks, not for sex and would be happy for just cosmetic operation, which isn't offered here.

Oh well....

I'm glad that you know what you want and don't let anyone convince you other wise.

[KarlMars]

My therapist asked about my sex life, in a general way, because she wanted to understand how my marriage was holding up under the stress of transition.  Seemed like a perfectly reasonable question under the circumstances.  I was a bit uncomfortable answering, but the reason for asking made sense, so I did answer.

More recently, a different therapist asked about in connection with helping me decide between full-depth vaginoplasty and a cosmetic procedure.  Obviously it is relevant to know what my prioritites are regarding actually needing a vagina.

Neither one asked for explicit details, and I likely would not have given them if asked.  But the kind of questions they asked were relevant in the situation, and digging for the answers was helpful to me in clarifying my needs and desires.

I hope you got what you wanted. I haven't gotten that far yet and didn't realize you had therapy that in detail just regarding your surgery. I'm completely pre op and pre hormones. The sex related issues I have are dysphoria and psychological I think. Thanks for sharing.

[KarlMars]

I've talked about it with my primary care physician a lot. The therapist asked the type of relationship I was in, whether it was abusive, all pretty standard questions that didn't make me uncomfortable at all.

Hugs, Devlyn

Thanks for your input.

[rmaddy]

I talk about it some with mine.  Initially, he wanted to know more about me in a general sense.  Now, he might ask a specific question for clarification based on something I said in the process of the session.

[KarlMars]

I talk about it some with mine.  Initially, he wanted to know more about me in a general sense.  Now, he might ask a specific question for clarification based on something I said in the process of the session.

Did he help you resolve anything?

[rmaddy]

Did he help you resolve anything?

Lots of things.  Are you, by any chance, asking me the same question?

[2.B.Dana]

In my first and second session with my therapist I shared many things. In my first session I asked "can I talk about sex?" and she said "yes, that's why I'm here". After selectively telling certain bits about myself to different people I wanted one where all my cards were on the table. More of an emotionally cleansing bit for me I think. Anyway I told her everything that was on my sexual mind at the time. While my conservative wife considered me "out there" and bit too far from normal for her, my therapist wasn't shocked and said all things considered I was as normal as anyone else. I found that comforting in some small way. Mainly it felt good to just have it all out there on the table. Verbalizing things helped me process them a bit more and realize just how deep my needs and desires went as a transsexual.

[sarah1972]

Yes. In recent sessions mostly about the absence of the same [emoji20]

[Chloe]

During an initial consultation we discussed for about a half hour on the subject of my transsexual "history/motivations" when she finally said: LOL "oh I'm sorry no clue, haven't any experience with transsexualism that's my husband's specialty" (with primarily FTM in the office next door!!)

Sheeeze . . . so much for "therapy"! My counselor is a licensed MTF Minister as well and pretty much 'ok's anything I want (one of the perks of having managed to cope with this for the last 40 years?) Prescribing Endo is same way . . .   

[Megan.]

Yes, I talk about everything with my therapist, I'm 100% open with them.
I don't share irrelevant details,  but if I think it has, is or could impact my mental/emotional health, then it's open for discussion. [emoji5]

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[KarlMars]

Yes, I talk about everything with my therapist, I'm 100% open with them.
I don't share irrelevant details,  but if I think it has, is or could impact my mental/emotional health, then it's open for discussion. [emoji5]

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It's good that you have a therapist you're comfortable enough talking to.

[Megan.]

It's good that you have a therapist you're comfortable enough talking to.

I think I got really lucky, I've been seeing them for over three years now. We only meet monthly currently,  and I often just update them on my life, any key events and how I feel about them.
If i wasn't considering any GRS I'd probably stop the sessions,  but I'm aware that GRS may well have some heavy impacts on me, and I want that support there if needed. [emoji5]

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[Briah]

I am going to put on my therapist hat for a moment.
Any therapist that gratuitously starts asking about sex in anything other than a general way should be avoided at all costs.  If it is not part of the problem it should not be brought up in therapy by the therapist.
During an intake I may ask how is your sex life.  That is the end of it unless the answer is of concern.
In therapy with someone for gender dysphoria or as a stepping stone to GRS or in order to have a therapist that you have a relationship with after GRS there is no need to discuss sex unless the client brings it into the therapy room.

Now I can take that hat off (yeah!)

Gee, apparently when I took my hat off my train of thought got derailed--who would have thought?
No, sex isn't the problem, it is memory caused by being somewhat chronologically endowed. 

[KarlMars]

I am going to put on my therapist hat for a moment.
Any therapist that gratuitously starts asking about sex in anything other than a general way should be avoided at all costs.  If it is not part of the problem it should not be brought up in therapy by the therapist.
During an intake I may ask how is your sex life.  That is the end of it unless the answer is of concern.
In therapy with someone for gender dysphoria or as a stepping stone to GRS or in order to have a therapist that you have a relationship with after GRS there is no need to discuss sex unless the client brings it into the therapy room.

Now I can take that hat off (yeah!)

Gee, apparently when I took my hat off my train of thought got derailed--who would have thought?
No, sex isn't the problem, it is memory caused by being somewhat chronologically endowed.

Thanks. I am thinking of going into the psychology field.

[Briah]

It is a great field; so long as you don't mind long hours, lots of study, and low pay. 

[Allison S]

I don't have a sex life so nope

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