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"There are lots of people who want to kill us."

Started by rmaddy, January 28, 2018, 12:54:26 PM

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Cassi

Quote from: Megan. on January 28, 2018, 03:25:05 PM
I got more verbal insults as a fat overweight man than I ever have as a trans-woman.
Regardless, I'm still a heck of lot more likely to get run down by a bus than become a hate-murder statistic.

I choose to look forward, grow, and live my life [emoji5]. X

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Add being hit by a meteor and you can hide in the closet with me :)
HRT since 1/04/2018
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Devlyn

Quote from: Cassi on January 28, 2018, 03:26:23 PM
Quote from: Megan. on January 28, 2018, 03:25:05 PM
I got more verbal insults as a fat overweight man than I ever have as a trans-woman.
Regardless, I'm still a heck of lot more likely to get run down by a bus than become a hate-murder statistic.

I choose to look forward, grow, and live my life [emoji5]. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

Add being hit by a meteor and you can hide in the closet with me :)

No, consarn it, it's about getting OUT of the closet!  :laugh:
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rmaddy

Quote from: tgirlamc on January 28, 2018, 02:50:00 PM

I'm sure Trans people get hit by buses, drown and have heart attacks too but, should worrying about that be a point of focus?


Each of these things is far more likely than being murdered, even for us.
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Megan.

I'm sure it's cosy, and got some lovely clothes in it, but I'm never going back in the closet again! [emoji5]

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Devlyn

Sitting here thinking about this, there are an order of magnitude more people who accept us and want the best for us than there are who murder us. More of us die at our own hands than are killed by another.  :(

Don't be a 41%'er. Devlyn needs you around.  :-*

Hugs, Devlyn
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rmaddy

Quote from: SadieBlake on January 28, 2018, 03:13:25 PM


I had never once in 60 years presenting as white male been subjected to harrassment on the street. Once I began dressing (non-passing) femme it took less than 2 weeks to the first one.


You went from a privileged class to a non-privileged class.  Are you really surprised that white men in America are less prone to be insulted (or assaulted)?  Were you working to end white male privilege before you transitioned?

I'm not making the case that being transgender is easy.  I am offering a bit of perspective so that closeted individuals might be able to cross oversold, irrational fear of murder off the reasons that they should remain hidden.
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rmaddy

Quote from: Cassi on January 28, 2018, 03:26:23 PM
Add being hit by a meteor and you can hide in the closet with me :)

Seriously?  We all have to die, honey.  "Death by meteor" is on the top of my preference list.  It would suck, but in a uniquely and totally awesome way.
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Megan.

I was telling a friend how I almost died on an ikea escalator, I'd defo take meteor over that!

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Kylo

Personally I don't feel especially at risk in my location, only slightly more so than if I had not transitioned, a very small risk. If someone's hoping to get the jump on me, they are going to have to be good, or bring a gang. I tend to watch strangers like a hawk around me thanks to three or four experiences in younger years with people trying to beat me up or "get me alone" for other reasons. Nobody knows me well enough to know, where I am, so it would have to be some kind of random rage attack.

I feel more at risk of dying from an old person accidentally running me over with their car here, while they are marveling at the scenery. Village is probably 70% retired elderly people who keep to themselves.

Statistically, most people are murdered by people they know, people they are close to. I'm not close to people around here. 



"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
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DawnOday

Quote from: rmaddy on January 28, 2018, 02:19:28 PM
There is a flaw in my logic, or rather in my process, but this is not it.  I took data from non-similar sources in order to compare the 27 trans deaths with some sort of a national average.

Good point, but I am only taking on the issue of homicidal violence here.


Unfortunately murders are reported by local law enforcement and there is no regulation requiring them to do so. As a result the statistics are skewed. For instance the children of Sandy Hook are not listed in FBI statistics. Twenty seven trans deaths are what we know about. I venture to guess there are significantly more not reported. I know a transwomen in Vegas who was beaten within an inch of her life but by the news you never would have known it. And it was never reported as an assault.
Dawn Oday

It just feels right   :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss:

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First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17



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V M

I've been threatened and even attacked in the past, luckily I've been able to defend myself or avoid/get away so far  :-\
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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DawnOday

The study suggests that several minority stressors – negative experiences related to anti-transgender bias – may contribute to elevated prevalence of suicide attempts among transgender people, such as experiences of harassment, family rejection, housing instability, and discrimination in health care. Over half of those who experienced harassment or bullying in schools reported lifetime suicide attempts, as did 57 percent of those who reported that their family chose not to speak/spend time with them.  High prevalence of suicide attempts was also found among those who had ever experienced homelessness (69%) and those who reported a doctor or healthcare provider refused to treat them (60%).

The difference between attempts and success is, You're still alive to answer survey's. Just imagine if every one who attempted were successful?
Dawn Oday

It just feels right   :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss:

If you have a a business or service that supports our community please submit for our Links Page.

First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17



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Cassi

Quote from: DawnOday on January 28, 2018, 04:27:29 PM
The study suggests that several minority stressors – negative experiences related to anti-transgender bias – may contribute to elevated prevalence of suicide attempts among transgender people, such as experiences of harassment, family rejection, housing instability, and discrimination in health care. Over half of those who experienced harassment or bullying in schools reported lifetime suicide attempts, as did 57 percent of those who reported that their family chose not to speak/spend time with them.  High prevalence of suicide attempts was also found among those who had ever experienced homelessness (69%) and those who reported a doctor or healthcare provider refused to treat them (60%).

The difference between attempts and success is, You're still alive to answer survey's. Just imagine if every one who attempted were successful?

Yes, and it's against the law too :)
HRT since 1/04/2018
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rmaddy

Quote from: DawnOday on January 28, 2018, 04:10:16 PM
Unfortunately murders are reported by local law enforcement and there is no regulation requiring them to do so. As a result the statistics are skewed. For instance the children of Sandy Hook are not listed in FBI statistics. Twenty seven trans deaths are what we know about. I venture to guess there are significantly more not reported. I know a transwomen in Vegas who was beaten within an inch of her life but by the news you never would have known it. And it was never reported as an assault.

The US murder rate in general is also just the ones we know about.  You can fault me for assuming that rate of reportage is equal for all comers goers, but if you're going to nitpick the stats, tell me how either a) you would improve on my analysis using existing metrics, or b) what statistical evidence there is to support the idea that trans people are more likely to be murdered.

I could have spoken with more statistical clarity on whether coral snakes are more dangerous than rattlers (they are), but if the question is "which one of them is more likely to be under my bed tonight, the answer is neither."1  We might wish for better statistics, because better data drive better strategy, but for now, those of you who are afraid you'll be murdered because you are trans trans should give some thought to lightening, which to the best of our knowledge is twice as likely to kill you.  Yet, for some reason, there are not forums here lamenting the dangers of rain.2

Guessing from previous comments you have written, I don't think that you and I have come to drastically different conclusions about what is to be feared, and what is to be ignored for the sake of sanity.  My concern is for those dealing with all the real concerns about coming out (hint:  mostly, it's your family), but who are distracted by things we should neither lose sleep over, nor can do much about.



1  Just kidding.  It's the coral snake.  They love warming up between the covers of your bed.  Be afraid.  Be very afraid.
2  Among which are flattening of curls, running of mascara and worst of all, bad ambient lighting.
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Cassi

Quote from: rmaddy on January 28, 2018, 05:12:31 PM
The US murder rate in general is also just the ones we know about.  You can fault me for assuming that rate of reportage is equal for all comers goers, but if you're going to nitpick the stats, tell me how either a) you would improve on my analysis using existing metrics, or b) what statistical evidence there is to support the idea that trans people are more likely to be murdered.

I could have spoken with more statistical clarity on whether coral snakes are more dangerous than rattlers (they are), but if the question is "which one of them is more likely to be under my bed tonight, the answer is neither."1  We might wish for better statistics, because better data drive better strategy, but for now, those of you who are afraid you'll be murdered because you are trans trans should give some thought to lightening, which to the best of our knowledge is twice as likely to kill you.  Yet, for some reason, there are not forums here lamenting the dangers of rain.2

Guessing from previous comments you have written, I don't think that you and I have come to drastically different conclusions about what is to be feared, and what is to be ignored for the sake of sanity.  My concern is for those dealing with all the real concerns about coming out (hint:  mostly, it's your family), but who are distracted by things we should neither lose sleep over, nor can do much about.



1  Just kidding.  It's the coral snake.  They love warming up between the covers of your bed.  Be afraid.  Be very afraid.
2  Among which are flattening of curls, running of mascara and worst of all, bad ambient lighting.

Statistics are cool for generalized trending but I personally have a philosophy for example, I have a 50/50 chance of winning the lottery, winning at slot machines, playing poker, having an accident.  Either I do or I don't.  Stats are nice but if I go someplace, I go.  I try to be as safe as I can be, alert and drive as though everyone is trying to hit me but no matter what I do, if something is going to happen, it will happen.
HRT since 1/04/2018
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rmaddy

Quote from: DawnOday on January 28, 2018, 04:27:29 PM


The difference between attempts and success is, You're still alive to answer survey's. Just imagine if every one who attempted were successful?

My point exactly.  You shouldn't say 41% of trans people commit suicide using as support a survey where the correct percentage of the survey participants who actually did is zero.  The problem with propagandizing an issue with bad data is that people tend to sniff it out, and thereafter they ignore you.
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Devlyn

We ought to concentrate on the point of the thread: That gloom and doom about murder is not a realistic reason to deny yourself a happy life.  :)

Hugs, Devlyn
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Megan.

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on January 28, 2018, 05:29:35 PM
We ought to concentrate on the point of the thread: That gloom and doom about murder is not a realistic reason to deny yourself a happy life.  :)

Hugs, Devlyn
Totally agree, no gloom here [emoji16]

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JoanneB

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on January 28, 2018, 01:29:05 PM
"I'm not dead yet"   :laugh:

All kidding aside, THE #1 worry of both my wife & I, both from the pre-jurasic era of the 60's-70's & 80's. Oh, and retirement plans are for in Hillbilly territory.

TBH - Between my experiences just outside the epicenter of the "Liberal/Progressive" universe known as NYC, and my experiences in rural "Deliverance" territory..... Rural West Virginia got this bucolic New Jersey "Village" 5 miles from Times Square NYC beat hands down for acceptance
.          (Pile Driver)  
                    |
                    |
                    ^
(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
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Devlyn

DING DING DING DING DING, we have a winner!  ;D :laugh:

Hugs, Devlyn
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