Name change in relation to full time date

[2.B.Dana]

Greetings,

Over the many months I have been reading here I have come across a few different scenarios regarding timing of the name change.  As part of my denial issues, wanting an escape hatch, and pressing questions from relatives I put the name change legalities on the back burner.

Now full time a month I am reconsidering that choice. Just today I ordered something for in store pickup and asked my future ex-wife to pick it up because I didn't want to present photo ID and explain the bearded bald guy in the photo.  I am going through so many classic feelings of this journey in the first period of being full time and wonder if any would be helped in knowing that I was officially female on my ID's etc.

Transacting business in my male name while dressed as a woman has given me more heartache than I had perceived would be the case. I would be interested in feedback and experiences of others who have been down this road.

[Dena]

I never had to flash my ID prior to surgery and I wasn't able to alter it until after surgery. The way I go around it was plenty of cash and package deliveries to the managers office in the apartment complex. While my roommate was being treated for cancer, I would often pickup prescriptions for her including some pretty powerful pain medication and I never had any difficulty with it. If you are still presenting male, you would say that you are picking up a package for (insert female name here). They could assume you are a spouse, friend or neighbor and you may pick up the package. If they want to see an ID, they just want a name on the record incase there are problems latter on.

I wouldn't change the ID until your near ready to go full time as that could cause complications as well. You could do what I needed to do and in the early stages of cross living you might have a get out of jail free letter from your therapist should you be questioned about your female presentations with male ID. Remember when I transitioned, there were still laws on the book about disguises worn in public and driving with one could get you thrown in jail. The letter was just in case I was stopped for a traffic violation and the officer should question my non masculine appearance.

[kitchentablepotpourri]

I took a month off from work so that I could go have my first round of FFS, and have my name changed; and I was full-time when I returned. 

[KathyLauren]

I applied for my name change within a month after I went full-time.  I had some paperwork hassles with it, so I didn't get the certificate until three months.  In the intervening time, I didn't have any problems. 

I did have to produce my bank card with my old name on it when I went into the bank one time.  I was expecting to get questioned on the name, but it was actually my age that was suspicious: she didn't believe I looked 62.  Fortunately, she took my word for it that I was, because my next step would have been to produce my driver's license, with an extremely unconvincing picture of my old self.  For the name, she just offered to enter a preferred name into the computer.

Since you are already full-time, there's not a lot to do except apply for the name change, and avoid situations that require you to produce identification.  Don't speed or run red lights!

[TonyaW]

Essentially I went full time when I came out at work as that was the last "biggie".  That was last August and I didn't file for name change until Feb 1.  Waited for various reasons. 

So until it goes through, everything at work still has my legal name on it, emails etc.  So I get reminded every day.  Everyone there has been really good with not using it though so that has helped. 

Outside work it's mostly just being uncomfortable basically having to admit that I am still the dude on my drivers license,  even if it's only legally.  No one has given me a hassle so far.  I guess I still look   enough like the photo. 

I worry a bit about using it at the wholesale members store.  Someone posted here about having that issue an I got hassled once about letting my kids pay.  Name on the account and the credit cards still match so should only come up if someone thinks I don't look like the guy in the picture. Which I guess would be nice but not something I want to discuss with a cashier while holding up a long line. 

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