very big problem

[17]

im a teen male who has wanted to be female for as long as i can remember.my mom always told i was meant to be a girl when i was born, and i really felt that was true. im not like any other guy ive ever met, every girl says that also. i have so many reasons it seems crazy, but the real problem hear is that i cant figure out how to tell my mom about this, i mean, i dont wanna hurt her or any of my other family, and since i have a little bro and sis its even harder. can anyone out there give me advice on how to come out with this and tell mny mom, cause i really have no idea how im gonna talk about it.

[edit]edited to remove age[/edit]

[Cassandra]

Hi confused_male,

Welcome to Susan's. You'll find lots of people here who share your problem and have gone through what you are going through. If your mother has stated before that you were supposed to be a girl than there may be a good chance she will be very supportive of you. I know it is difficult to broach such a subject and fear is a big part of that. I wouldn't be overly concerned about your brother and sister though. Just because you have siblings is no reason to deny yourself. If it is their rejection of you that you fear than that is something to consider but if you are holding back because you feel some sort of responsibility to them than I think you are holding back for the wrong reasons. Just something to consider. There is lots of info here at Susan's that can help you. Please be sure to read the site rules and then check out the Wiki there is lots of good info there as well. So fix yourself a cup of tea or other age appropriate relaxing beverage, sit down, take your shoes off and set a spell.

Good Journey,

Cassie

[edit]Kimberly: Adjusted name.[/edit]

[titaniumowl]

Hello Confused:

Welcome! There is a support group for the family and friends of folks like us. I cannot think of the name, something like PFLAG, I hope someone will know. This group has a pamphlet dealing with your exact problem. They also have a pamphlet addressed to the family members and/or friends.

Research as well, the availability of a gender program in the nearest large city. While a minor would not be treated without parental consent, they would know of an appropriate approach to take with your mom. What about your dad?

Best wishes for the life you desire.

Hugs

Karen

[Leigh]

http://www.pflag.org/

[KelliTGirl]

Welcome confused_male. There is alot of knowledge and support found here. I think you'll find that there are more people here your age than you realize(I turn 21 in 9 days). I know for me that was a releif.

Anyhow, Welcome and good luck!

[Erica78]

hey confused hows it going? Well Im sure my grammar and punctuation are not entirely up to standards but at the same time I know exactly what you are going thru. I was born intersexed I had about 60% female parts and 40% male. Needless to say my parents wanted a boy so thru tough times they got what they finally wanted but my brain is still female. I guess one of those things that even thru therapy you cant really swap out. hehe But I too had the problem of telling my parents about this and my feelings of going back to my origin and one of the other members of the forum suggested I go on and tell and it wouldnt be so bad but me being a skeptic I didnt at first then finally I sat her down and actually spoke with her about my feelings and even tho she is upset at my decision she reassured me that she is my mother and whether I am her son or daughter she will love me just as much no matter what I am. I hope this helps a little. My parents are very old school and any kind of change scares them but it surprised even me too and it really wasnt as bad as I thought it would have been.
Remember: They love you no matter who you are. Most parents just want their children to be happy and successful in life.

Take Care,
Erica Cherise M.

[Lessa]

im a teen male who has wanted to be female for as long as i can remember.my mom always told i was meant to be a girl when i was born, and i really felt that was true. im not like any other guy ive ever met, every girl says that also. i have so many reasons it seems crazy, but the real problem hear is that i cant figure out how to tell my mom about this, i mean, i dont wanna hurt her or any of my other family, and since i have a little bro and sis its even harder. can anyone out there give me advice on how to come out with this and tell mny mom, cause i really have no idea how im gonna talk about it.

[edit]edited to remove age[/edit]

Hey confused!

I understand what your going through. My mom never told me that I was suppose to be a girl, but I was never like any other guy I had ever met either and girls told me the same thing.

Anyway to answer your question the way I came out to my dad was I wrote a note explaining my feelings, gave it to him and had him come up to my room and talk to me about it. Right now I would atleast tell your mom about this when your ready of course and do your bro and sis later.

Hope this helps some and take care.
-Love always, Lessa   

[Victoria L.]

So your mom told you that you were meant to be a girl?

That would probably soften the blow... my mom thinks exactly the opposite of that.

[Kimberly]

I was "meant" to be a guy (By my own account no less!) ... so what? It doesn't change that I am not.

(In other words, don't let what is perceived to be slow you down from what you feel needs done.)