Im in a very mixed state today. I took my mother out for ice cream and to see the sea front near where we lived since the weather was calm and sunny. Ive been discharged from my hospital reviews over my slipped disc which is a plus as the pain is resolved now.
Im in a horrible state of regret and pain over my mother's incoming death, but Im channeling it. Im preparing to DIY my hormones if needs be, and electrolysis is going really well, so thats nice.
Ive been offered a chance to become a personal trainer and earn an actual liveable wage I could use to get a mortage and move out, meaning transition could happen sooner than I thought. I was talking to my electrolysis lady (who is trans) and we were talking about how our times at GIC's were awful experiences. I also decided once I get myself set up, I want to create a programme of fitness and self defense for LGBT people, since apparently there is something of a demand for it, especially among trans people in the UK right now. Hopefully I can do something to empower my local community and improve some people's lives.
Im also going to use this to springboard my own plans to run sport based events to raise money to combat cancer, and do what I can to make sure that by the time Im gone, I will have made a satisfying dent in the scourge that is cancer as payback for what it's done to my mother, and that fewer people go through this.
