Going to a gender therapist for the first time

[Danielle Kristina]

Recognizing that I am transgender is still so new to me.  So many of you have suggested that I look into seeing a gender therapist.  I'm looking for some advice.  What do I say and what can I expect?  Are there any questions that should ask the therapist?

[heatherreneehais]

Recognizing that I am transgender is still so new to me.  So many of you have suggested that I look into seeing a gender therapist.  I'm looking for some advice.  What do I say and what can I expect?  Are there any questions that should ask the therapist?

Ask for recommendations on long term coping techniques with gender dysphoria unless you are ready to transition. As time goes on gender dysphoria will get worse and wreck your relationships and life if you do not learn to cope with it early.

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[Northern Star Girl]

Ask for recommendations on long term coping techniques with gender dysphoria unless you are ready to transition. As time goes on gender dysphoria will get worse and wreck your relationships and life if you do not learn to cope with it early.

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Hello heatherreneehais,  Thank you for joining Susan's Place.  I see that you are new here and you may have questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances. 
Be aware that there are lots of members here that can identify with the issues that you brought up in your introduction posting. 

WELCOME to Susan's Place.  You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others about your transition and to read about others transitions and their trials, tribulations, and successes in their transition journey. 
It is nice that you have signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other members.
When frustrated or if you have a successful moment in your journey you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....

***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here. 

Please come in and get involved at your own pace.  Be sure to look at the Links that I posted below, there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Again, Welcome.
Danielle

****IMPORTANT: So that many of the members will know that you are a new member here, and therefore you will receive more give and take ... and sharing experiences, please feel free to stop by the Introductions Forum to tell the members here about yourself!

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
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[amandam]

Therapists may ask you what are your goals for therapy. My answer was to find out where on the gender spectrum I am, and to accept myself wherever that may be.

[VaxSpyder]

Be honest and open.  Don't hide things that embarassed you.  I promise your therapist has heard worse.  Don't be afraid to talk about your dreams and your fears too.

[KathyLauren]

The therapist will probably start by asking you why you are there.  Just tell the truth.  "I am pretty sure I am transgender" is what I said.  Or you could say, "I wonder if I am...", or "I know for sure I am...", or whatever version fits your circumstances.

Some of the questions will be very personal.  They will ask questions about sexuality, about cross-dressing, and various other things that you would never in a million years talk about with someone else.    Try to be as honest and open as possible about answering them.  They need to know that stuff in order to figure out what is going on for you.

Relax, and enjoy knowing that you are taking action to become yourself.

[Stevi]

Danielle,

It is a little, OK, a lot, intimidating.  But you should relax.  I found for the first time in my life, it was such a relief to talk to someone that truly wanted to listen to my most secret thoughts without fear of them condemning me or taking offense that I was somehow messing their life up.  If your therapist turns out not to be able to provide that for you, find another.  I have had a very relaxed repore with my therapist from the first moment we sat down and began to talk.  I look forward to each session.  I predict that you will too, soon.

Stevi

[dee82]

As it happens, I have my first Gender Therapist appointment tomorrow. I am excited and nervous, so the comments above are a help, as I have been wondering what to expect. (Yesterday morning I woke early and couldn't go back to sleep, because I kept thinking about it.)

I know nothing about who I am seeing, but they are at a Centre that has a good reputation, so I am hoping we get along.

Danielle, I hope you find a good therapist.

Dee.

[Chelsea]

As it happens, I have my first Gender Therapist appointment tomorrow. I am excited and nervous, so the comments above are a help, as I have been wondering what to expect. (Yesterday morning I woke early and couldn't go back to sleep, because I kept thinking about it.)

I know nothing about who I am seeing, but they are at a Centre that has a good reputation, so I am hoping we get along.

Danielle, I hope you find a good therapist.

Dee.

Dee, I was very nervous the first time I went to the therapist. There was really nothing to it. She give me option to tell
her "my story" or that she could ask me questions. Just be honest with them. I wish you the best and keep us up to date on your progress.


Hugs,
        Chelsea

[christinej78]

Recognizing that I am transgender is still so new to me.  So many of you have suggested that I look into seeing a gender therapist.  I'm looking for some advice.  What do I say and what can I expect?  Are there any questions that should ask the therapist?

Danielle Kristina,           22 Apr 2018

Not being an expert on these things all I can do is "splain" what I did. On 21 Feb 2018, I contacted via email a licensed professional counselor; she gave me an appointment for 08 March 18, the official start of my transition. Prior to my appointment I wrote a bio that outlined my feelings and life over the past 77+ years. Basically, it was about my feelings, desires and actions during that time. I laid it all out, not omitting anything related to my desire to be a girl when I was a kid and a woman when I became an adult.

It was two pages long and was extremely personal. After the introduction and small talk I gave her the bio and asked her to read it. As she progressed through it, she would ask clarifying questions. When she was done I asked for the bio back as it was too personal to have someone other than me have a copy.

When I went I didn't know that much about transgender; I thought maybe I was gay, screwy or just mixed up. At the end of the session she told me I was not gay, I loved women and was a transgender woman.

Long story short, from my first counseling session I was on HRT 27 Mar 18 (2 weeks and five days); on 13 Apr 2018 I had my orchiectomy, five weeks and one day from that first session.

Depending on numerous factors, such as age, motivation, availability of transgender friendly counselors, doctors, surgeons, one's willingness to travel for treatment, etc. you can proceed as rapidly or as slowly as you feel comfortable. I am fortunate in that I live in a suburb of Fort Worth, a part of the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex; everything I needed is right here.

I don't know your age or where you are located; my only advice is to do what you believe is correct for you and makes you happy. Don't worry about what others think because no matter what one does there will always be someone that doesn't like it; live for you.

I'm only one person, I did what I feel is the right thing for me. I want to live the rest of my life as the woman I have always wanted to be.

You will find lots of great information on Susan's Place and plenty of good advice and first person experiences. Hope this helps in some small way. I know I don't have all the answers and I did rely on the experiences of Susan's members.

Best Always,
Christine

[Danielle Kristina]

Thank you all for the suggestions.  I realize that, after much soul-searching, that I am indeed transgender.  It still scares me, but it also explains so much about myself - my secret desires, my secret thoughts, etc. - all of those aspects of me that I couldn't bring myself to admit to another person.  Heck, I've tried very hard to deny those feminine longings to myself!  No matter how hard I tried I couldn't let my inner girl go.  Even when I did manage to get rid of her, she would always come back; sometimes she'd be gone for a short time and sometimes she'd be gone long enough that I thought she was gone for good.  But she always came back.  Now she's back stronger than ever.  This made me realize that there is more to me than I have allowed myself to explore. 

Now that I realize that I'm trans I'm going to seek a gender therapist, and your suggestions and experiece will help me at this stage of my gender exploration.  Thank you all for your love and support.

Hugs!!!

[heatherreneehais]

Well stated. Your words are clear and concise.

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[pamelatransuk]

Hello Danielle Kristina and Dee

Before I attended my first therapy session, I had completed a questionnaire about my background (mainly medical but also social) and I provided more information in writing for the therapist which she had read before we met.

My advice is do not hide anything and try not to be embarrassed - I know the latter can be hard. A good therapist should be tactful but also able to probe politely. Just be honest. The first thing they wish to know (I note Danielle that you already know as did I when I attended) is whether you know you are indeed transgender (as opposed to just thinking you may be).

Just be honest and open..

Best of luck to you both.

Pamela