Show of hands, who's been raped?

[Cindy]

I have removed a post that describes graphic sexual activity. That is not allowed on this site.

Please have consideration for the thread with the pain and trauma that abusers have caused.

Cindy
Forum Administrator

[grrl1nside]

Uggggghhhh... tried not to do this thread but I have a new appreciation for the moth to a flame adage. Yes, at age 10 by an older cousin. And, who knows just how often when I was 15-17 yr old as my best friends step-dad was a paedophile principal that liked to supply lots of alcohol. So my memory is a bit blurry even though the basic outline is there.

This question riles me up because I know too many people that say it is the trauma that makes us 'confused.' My gender was an issue well before the abuse and I know that it is not implied here. It just leads me there for some reason. Evidently, I have been dealing with too many anti trans groups messaging lately through my work where there has been a lot of opposition to a sexual orientation and gender identity component in our education system.

[Donna]

Thank you very much Cindy.

[Donna]

Trama  did not make me confused. I had an idea what I truly wanted. The abuse made me shut down emotionally and question if my internal desire to be fem is what attracted the abuse. This shut down made me move forward in life hating to admit my true feelings, burying it and doing everything I could to make me as male as male can be. Those desires have tried to push thru over the years and I squashed them any way I could. As far as I'm concerned without the abuse I would have admitted who I was.
I consider anything anti trans as annoying small minded talk and tend to ignor it. If I need I will chime in.
We have to live to be who we are

[Devlyn]

...Uggggghhhh... tried not to do this thread but I have a new appreciation for the moth to a flame adage...

I understand, when a new reply pops up, I'm not always in a good place to come read it. The thread is, as others have said, a difficult read.

Hugs, Devlyn

[SarahM777]

I understand, when a new reply pops up, I'm not always in a good place to come read it. The thread is, as others have said, a difficult read.

Hugs, Devlyn

The stories are hard to read but I think what is harder still is realizing that there are far too many of us that gone through this. (Even 1 is 1 too many)

[Drexy/Drex]

Drugged out cold , and messed with can't remember a thing

[Donna]

I understand, when a new reply pops up, I'm not always in a good place to come read it. The thread is, as others have said, a difficult read.

Hugs, Devlyn

It is very hard to read but I have to thank you for starting it. It was even harder to talk about it but that was another step to healing.  It has shown me that it wasn't me that caused it to happen in the first place. My true self didn't attract this unwanted event.

[SonadoraXVX]

Yes molested and attempted molestation as a very young boy, never raped. As a young man in the military, attempted molestation/rape.
My heart goes out to everyone that had to go through this violation of trust, from colleagues, family and friends, through this difficult time of our lives 

[Coffeedrew]

The person I considered my best friend growing up.I was in third grade when it started and really did not figured it out until high-school.I would say sexual abuse and being taken advantage of.He was the only one in my early life who I told about being transgender.I have always assumed he was a abused also but he hide the pain and took it out on others.Thanks for listening.

[PurpleWolf]

Just noticed this thread...... A sad read 
My heart goes out to all you guys.......!!!

Me: Not exactly raped but sexually assaulted by 3 boys my age at 7 in a school corridor. Then a close male family member who was like a dad to me tried to sexually abuse me at 10.... but eventually I was strong enough to say no and it didn't lead anywhere..... But knowing that the one adult I trusted 100% wanted to actually sexually abuse me traumatized me pretty bad..... I got the vibes that he sexualized me overall as well.

Those incidents had no effect on me feeling masc and like a boy.... bcos I felt that already when I was like 1. And hangups about societal expectations on being a girl. BUT they probably did affect my self-image and me feeling my body is trash, along with perpetual bullying and mental abuse since the age of 3........

Now I'm in the process of contemplating whether that sexual abuse had a bigger effect on me and my gender than I ever even realized before...  At least it seems most of my body dysphoria was actually trauma-related.

[ChrissyRyan]

Not me.  I feel sad for those of you that have been.  My heart breaks for you and what you endured. 

Hugs,

Chrissy

[Devlyn]

It's been awhile since this thread came up, so I reread it all. It's painful but I think people are able to take strength from it. My thanks again to all who have shared their experiences and support here.

Hugs, Devlyn

[natalie.ashlyne]

Well I did not know where or if I should post this but I figured since I posted in this thread and this has to do with the situation I will post it here. I found out a few weeks ago that one of the guys that sexually assaulted me was found and arrested. The police came to my door asking me if I am still willing to testify, I broke down crying I just want to forget that part of my life. I found out he sexually assaulted many others and there was a group of arrests. I don't want him to get away with it again he was free for 24 years and continued to hurt kids which sucks that the police could not find him. I am sorry that more people got hurt. I don't know if I should testify and re read my victim impact statement in front of a whole courtroom I was humiliated when it happened and it is bringing everything back now. I don't want him to get away again but I don't know if I can mentally handle this it is so hard way to many emotions are going through my head. I just want to live my new life and forget about the past I just don't know what to do

[GingerVicki]

Regrettably, I add my name to the list.

[itsApril]

. . . I found out a few weeks ago that one of the guys that sexually assaulted me was found and arrested. The police came to my door asking me if I am still willing to testify, I broke down crying I just want to forget that part of my life. I found out he sexually assaulted many others and there was a group of arrests. I don't want him to get away with it again he was free for 24 years and continued to hurt kids which sucks that the police could not find him. I am sorry that more people got hurt. I don't know if I should testify and re read my victim impact statement in front of a whole courtroom I was humiliated when it happened and it is bringing everything back now. . . .

Yes.  PLEASE testify against him and do whatever you can to put him down for good.

[Linde]

I am horrified and sad to read what many of you had to go through!  I cannot even imagine what this experience must have been for you.  I feel so sorry for you!

I lived a very sheltered and happy life.  I don't think I was ever molested or raped.  My dad and my 4 older, very strong cousins would have broke every bone of anybody who would have assaulted my sister and I!

[KathyLauren]

Natalie, I am so sorry that you are faced with this dilemma.  I would strongly urge you to testify, but of course I understand if you are not able to do so.

[natalie.ashlyne]

Thank you @KathyLauren  @Dietlind @itsApril for your support I really do want to testify I am  hoping I have the mental capability to do so because at this moment I just don't seem to have it. I also just don't to have to relive it all I still have burn marks on my right arm from where they burned me and ya. It is like I am reliving every moment again 

[Linde]

Thank you @KathyLauren  @Dietlind @itsApril for your support I really do want to testify I am  hoping I have the mental capability to do so because at this moment I just don't seem to have it. I also just don't to have to relive it all I still have burn marks on my right arm from where they burned me and ya. It is like I am reliving every moment again

But think about, once he/they are locked away, it is finally over!  He/they cannot ham any other human being anymore, and you can get closure for good!