not passing on T after 1 year

[Tentacles]

It happened to me too. Try to grow a beard an everything will be fine.

[Artistic_Gene]

I was on T for over two years and still get gendered female almost 100% of the time. Sometimes it can take a while before our changes really register. My voice did lower but not enough, and my bones thickened (but not enough), all that jazz. Patience is hard to have but it's the only cure for a problem like this. I hope your masculinization goes much faster than mine did.

[Hughie]

It happened to me too. Try to grow a beard an everything will be fine.

Cheers, I think I'll try the deal with Rogaine and see if I have any luck.

[Hughie]

I was on T for over two years and still get gendered female almost 100% of the time. Sometimes it can take a while before our changes really register. My voice did lower but not enough, and my bones thickened (but not enough), all that jazz. Patience is hard to have but it's the only cure for a problem like this. I hope your masculinization goes much faster than mine did.

Cheers! It's good to know I'm not the only one and sorry it's taken so long for you. I hear you on the patience. I know in the scheme of things it's not a long time but I am impatient.

[meatwagon]

Hang in there.  I know where you're coming from, being stuck in that stage where the problem is your face and no amount of haircuts or men's clothes or aggressively standing with your legs wide apart and waving your man-flag around would change it.  I know people are only trying to be helpful and make sure you've got your bases covered when they offer tips about how to dress and how to move and all that, but honestly sometimes the only thing you really need is the hardest thing of all in this situation: patience.  Which I'm not much help for, as I don't have any, myself.  All I can say is that it did slowly start getting better for me around the time I was approaching the one year mark.  Now that it's been a little over a year, I pass more often than not but still have people who knew me from "before" going on as though they haven't noticed any changes.  And the minute someone who doesn't know you gets that confirmation from someone else that you're a "she", game over.  That's how it is for me, anyway, ymmv but yeah this is a really uncomfortable spot to be in. 
Everyone is different, genetics, blah blah blah, but if you're concerned that you're not where you should be, there's no harm in discussing it with your doctor even if the charts say your T levels are normal.  There could be other factors at play that need ruling out, or it could just continue to be a waiting game.  Considering that there are plenty of cis men who also don't pass, though, I'd say your best bet in the meantime is to get comfortable with correcting people.  That's something I struggle with, but I've been lucky enough lately that the ugly prepubescent facial hair usually tips the balance in my favor.  If you can't grow a beard, you gotta grow confidence in your gender.  Both is good, but we can't all be so lucky.  At least one of the two will usually help. 

[Hughie]

Hang in there.  I know where you're coming from, being stuck in that stage where the problem is your face and no amount of haircuts or men's clothes or aggressively standing with your legs wide apart and waving your man-flag around would change it.  I know people are only trying to be helpful and make sure you've got your bases covered when they offer tips about how to dress and how to move and all that, but honestly sometimes the only thing you really need is the hardest thing of all in this situation: patience.  Which I'm not much help for, as I don't have any, myself.  All I can say is that it did slowly start getting better for me around the time I was approaching the one year mark.  Now that it's been a little over a year, I pass more often than not but still have people who knew me from "before" going on as though they haven't noticed any changes.  And the minute someone who doesn't know you gets that confirmation from someone else that you're a "she", game over.  That's how it is for me, anyway, ymmv but yeah this is a really uncomfortable spot to be in. 
Everyone is different, genetics, blah blah blah, but if you're concerned that you're not where you should be, there's no harm in discussing it with your doctor even if the charts say your T levels are normal.  There could be other factors at play that need ruling out, or it could just continue to be a waiting game.  Considering that there are plenty of cis men who also don't pass, though, I'd say your best bet in the meantime is to get comfortable with correcting people.  That's something I struggle with, but I've been lucky enough lately that the ugly prepubescent facial hair usually tips the balance in my favor.  If you can't grow a beard, you gotta grow confidence in your gender.  Both is good, but we can't all be so lucky.  At least one of the two will usually help.

Cheers! Yeah, I think most of my issue is in the face right now and only time will sort that out. I tried the short hair thing in the summer and it was really uncomfortable for me, so I don't think I'll be doing that again. I'll just have to wait for more fat distribution and dress etc how I'm comfortable in the meantime. I'm confident in myself  about my identity, and about correcting pronouns from people I see regularly, but not worth it for a person at the check out in a shop.

[CursedFireDean]

I don't have much advice, but I did want to just offer my words of support and tell you that I relate. I was consistently misgendered around 1 year on T which I found incredibly frustrating, and relatively frequently later when I let my hair grow too long. Even with noticeable facial hair it's happened, though the facial hair growing has helped immensely. I (4+ years on T) STILL get misgendered on the phone and in drive through lines, though not in person anymore. Misgendering takes a long long time to go away.

I remember when I started transitioning, the idea of being 1 year on T seemed like forever and it seemed like so much would happen. Being a year on T, it felt like I hadn't made any progress at all. Ultimately, 1 year on T really isn't that long, there's still tons of potential for more of the slow long-term changes, like fat redistribution and facial hair and those things. They're subtle and hard to see change and often it can feel like they aren't changing at all, and it may be that those things just need to keep going.

I checked out the picture you posted. I definitely see some potential in your face to be read as male, so I'm going to try to pinpoint some things you can try to do. I think the way you're holding your lips may be contributing which I saw someone else mention. Perhaps try a short haircut? I usually suggest something short on the sides with slightly more length up top, so that the head appears more squarish. I know you said you don't want to go too short, and I don't know enough about hair to really suggest something other than an undercut, which it sounds like is definitely shorter than you want.

Ultimately though, just time. Facial hair will definitely help a lot once that starts to grow in (mine didn't grow in a reasonable amount until around 2-3 years on T, and at 4+ I'm still waiting for more) and your face will continue to subtly change as you've been on T longer. The time really does start to pass faster and faster, before you know it you'll be several years in too and look at your face and see how much it's changed.

[luckygirl]

one year does not a puberty make. I know of no one that actually went through puberty that fast. For most of us trans people, this is a 3,4 or 5 year proposition. The sad truth no one wants to talk about. Then add the nonsense of the interwebs with some guy posting his picture of him looking like a barbie doll and then his one year time line where he looks like some male movie star not only doesn't help, it may not even be true, But it screws with our heads, anyways. Give it some time. Actually, give it a lot of time. And do what you can. That shirt and hair in that pic do you no favors. Sorry, just saying. Good luck, dude!

[Hughie]

I don't have much advice, but I did want to just offer my words of support and tell you that I relate. I was consistently misgendered around 1 year on T which I found incredibly frustrating, and relatively frequently later when I let my hair grow too long. Even with noticeable facial hair it's happened, though the facial hair growing has helped immensely. I (4+ years on T) STILL get misgendered on the phone and in drive through lines, though not in person anymore. Misgendering takes a long long time to go away.

I remember when I started transitioning, the idea of being 1 year on T seemed like forever and it seemed like so much would happen. Being a year on T, it felt like I hadn't made any progress at all. Ultimately, 1 year on T really isn't that long, there's still tons of potential for more of the slow long-term changes, like fat redistribution and facial hair and those things. They're subtle and hard to see change and often it can feel like they aren't changing at all, and it may be that those things just need to keep going.

I checked out the picture you posted. I definitely see some potential in your face to be read as male, so I'm going to try to pinpoint some things you can try to do. I think the way you're holding your lips may be contributing which I saw someone else mention. Perhaps try a short haircut? I usually suggest something short on the sides with slightly more length up top, so that the head appears more squarish. I know you said you don't want to go too short, and I don't know enough about hair to really suggest something other than an undercut, which it sounds like is definitely shorter than you want.

Ultimately though, just time. Facial hair will definitely help a lot once that starts to grow in (mine didn't grow in a reasonable amount until around 2-3 years on T, and at 4+ I'm still waiting for more) and your face will continue to subtly change as you've been on T longer. The time really does start to pass faster and faster, before you know it you'll be several years in too and look at your face and see how much it's changed.

Cheers, it's great to hear about your experience for some hope.   I actually did try an undercut with shaved sides, long on top, but no difference in how I was read. It just made me feel even more uncomfortable in my own skin (though slightly cooler given the warm September, haha). Facial hair is starting at least.

I did get blood work done by my doc again in January and discovered my T was too low the last five months, so there's that. Other things were still happening without fail, like that dread monthly thing, which also made me think this is not all in my head or just that it takes a long time for these things to take effect. Though absolutely, this is on a scale of years and not months.

But you do look amazing in your pic. Great to see what time will do.

[Hughie]

one year does not a puberty make. I know of no one that actually went through puberty that fast. For most of us trans people, this is a 3,4 or 5 year proposition. The sad truth no one wants to talk about. Then add the nonsense of the interwebs with some guy posting his picture of him looking like a barbie doll and then his one year time line where he looks like some male movie star not only doesn't help, it may not even be true, But it screws with our heads, anyways. Give it some time. Actually, give it a lot of time. And do what you can. That shirt and hair in that pic do you no favors. Sorry, just saying. Good luck, dude!

Yes, you're definitely right that this does take years. Along with hormones being in the right ranges.

[mm]

Hughie, when that monthly thing is occurring, there is likely something wrong with your hormones levels especially your T level.

[Ryuichi13]

Cheers, it's great to hear about your experience for some hope.   I actually did try an undercut with shaved sides, long on top, but no difference in how I was read. It just made me feel even more uncomfortable in my own skin (though slightly cooler given the warm September, haha). Facial hair is starting at least.

I did get blood work done by my doc again in January and discovered my T was too low the last five months, so there's that. Other things were still happening without fail, like that dread monthly thing, which also made me think this is not all in my head or just that it takes a long time for these things to take effect. Though absolutely, this is on a scale of years and not months.

But you do look amazing in your pic. Great to see what time will do.

Chances are, if you're still having your monthly "Shark Week," your T levels are too low.  Maybe talk to your endo about increasing them.

I don't know if you're transmasculine/male/transman/etc or nonbinary, but if you're going for transmasculine/etc, Shark Week should stop once your T levels are where they should be for a cis man.  Again, talk to your endo.

Another reminder. "puberty takes years, not months."  My voice is still cracking every now and then, and I've been on T for almost 27 months now. 

Ryuichi

[Charlie Nicki]

Here's a pic this morning... admittedly, the hair's out of control, haha. This got out of hand this week.

https://imgur.com/a/jMwYDF2

I would get a buzzcut and change the glasses frame for something smaller and more square like this maybe:

https://www.glassesusa.com/black-medium/revel-calloway/35-p10922.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI4eXlwoy04AIVxCaGCh0doAvPEAYYBSABEgL_EPD_BwE

[Hughie]

Hughie, when that monthly thing is occurring, there is likely something wrong with your hormones levels especially your T level.

That's what I figured, when the guidance here is that most trans guys here have it stop after 3-6 months (though not all). I was telling my GP, who manages my hormones and is pretty savvy with the trans stuff and hormones. I'm technically in range but the bottom end, but judging by what was happening and what wasn't, it wasn't enough for me.

[Hughie]

Chances are, if you're still having your monthly "Shark Week," your T levels are too low.  Maybe talk to your endo about increasing them.

I don't know if you're transmasculine/male/transman/etc or nonbinary, but if you're going for transmasculine/etc, Shark Week should stop once your T levels are where they should be for a cis man.  Again, talk to your endo.

Another reminder. "puberty takes years, not months."  My voice is still cracking every now and then, and I've been on T for almost 27 months now. 

Ryuichi

I'm going for trans guy.   I will say that the last few days my throat is sore and my voice has dropped, after 2-3 weeks on the new dose. And the monthly thing didn't happen, so perhaps I'm finally going in the right direction now.

[Hughie]

I would get a buzzcut and change the glasses frame for something smaller and more square like this maybe:

https://www.glassesusa.com/black-medium/revel-calloway/35-p10922.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI4eXlwoy04AIVxCaGCh0doAvPEAYYBSABEgL_EPD_BwE

The glasses are cool. Mine are a similar shape, square, but tortoiseshell. I think, though, I'd have a melt down with a buzzcut, haha. The fade was more than enough for me.

I do feel calmer knowing that thinking changes weren't happening wasn't just in my head. They happened a bit at first, then stalemate for ages. Now I have an answer and can see some more changes happening, so I'm relieved, even if this will take years. Things are moving in the right direction finally.

[mm]

From what you say now T is probably starting to give you the affect you want; skipping your monthly is a great sign.

[OliverR.]

I think a different haircut and shirt would probably do the trick. You look more on the androgynous at the moment, not necessarily female. I'm not on t yet, but my twin brother who also is started about a year ago and in the first few months his *ahem* stopped. I would get that checked out, maybe you need a higher does?

[OliverR.]

I know it's probably against the rules to make a double post, but after looking at your picture I'm getting a johnny depp vibe from you haha

[Joey93]

I think the haircut contributes to it. Try a classic masculine haircut.

I'm 8 months on T and I don't have visible facial hair yet except for a few darker sideburn hairs. I shave especially when I'm going out. Adult men don't have peach fuzz so I suggest that you shave it, so you'll look clean shaven. Many cis men have that look.
Finally, I know 1 year seems like a lot but it's really not. Most guys don't see radical changes after only 1 year unless they're incredibly lucky with genetics.
I was very lucky that my voice started dropping after only 1 month, but other things like facial hair and muscle mass are really really slow for me.
Try consciously speaking with a lower voice, from your chest.

When people misgender you, simply correct them. If they say ma'am, just say "Sir, actually" or "I'm a man"

Be patient, those who see radical changes in only 1 year on T are genetically lucky!