I'm on the verge of actually coming out now...

[930310]

My eyebrows are very faint because I trim them heavily. If I didn't do anything about them they'd be very bushy and merge together to a monobrow. I am dark under my eyes due to very superficial blood vessels and a chronic lack of sleep.
We don't have makeup counters like the ones you describe. If you want help you have to go to a studio and they're ridiculously expensive. Considering that I have no income to speak of since I am on sick leave from my studies I don't have much money to spend.

[Linde]

My eyebrows are very faint because I trim them heavily. If I didn't do anything about them they'd be very bushy and merge together to a monobrow. I am dark under my eyes due to very superficial blood vessels and a chronic lack of sleep.
We don't have makeup counters like the ones you describe. If you want help you have to go to a studio and they're ridiculously expensive. Considering that I have no income to speak of since I am on sick leave from my studies I don't have much money to spend.

The lack of sleep only you can do something about, you should try to get about 8 sleep hours in a 24 hour period.  It does not be all at the same time, s long as you can sleep long enough to get some decent REM sleep in.  You could do a few hours at night, and a few during the day.

Concerning makeup, don't you have some low price stores like Walmart where you live?  Another way to get low cost cosmetics would be Amazon.
Saying I can't will not help your situation, you need to find ways how you can do things, just set your mind to it!

To become a woman, one has to show initiative and, if required, be innovative.  Nobody here woke up one morning to be able to say :wow, I am a woman now!  All of us had or still have to fight and work hard, to achieve this goal.  But if anything, this fighting makes you to become a stronger and better person for your future life!

[930310]

Telling a person who has problems with depression and anxiety to just fight and press on/setting my mind to it is very counter-productive.
I have problems with my sleep and I need to take medication just to fall asleep so it's not something I can just do whenever I feel like it. Some nights I can't sleep at all despite taking double or triple of my medication.

[Linde]

Telling a person who has problems with depression and anxiety to just fight and press on/setting my mind to it is very counter-productive.
I have problems with my sleep and I need to take medication just to fall asleep so it's not something I can just do whenever I feel like it. Some nights I can't sleep at all despite taking double or triple of my medication.

I wanted to help you!  I have problems with sleep, too.  I am using a Cpap machine for almost 20 years now, to be able to get a decent sleep.  It is a medical fact that you do not need your sleep quantity all over night, you can split your sleep up into several segments.  Have you ever been tested in a sleep lab?  Maybe that they can help you to find the reason for your sleep problems.  Medication is not the solution to a problem, one has to find the root cause, and wok on this, see if your doctor will prescribe a sleep lab test for you!

But how do you expect to solve your journey to become a female, if you do not work on it?  Anxiety and depression can be controlled with medications, and if you set out to become female, this would/might take some of the depression away from you.

I wish for you that you find a solution for your problems, but it is very often not easy to achieve the solution.
Just don't forget, nobody here started out as a female, we all had to go through a lot of problems to get there, and e still have to solve problems.  We can try to give you ideas and advice, but it is you wo has to implement them to fit your life.

Good luck on your path and Merry Christmas
Linde

[930310]

People are very different. Some respond well to being told to just do it while others get discouraged. I have had many problems in my life, which I know many other transgender individuals have had as well, but I have reacted by becoming more and more insecure and started to avoid taking any risks. What I need is someone in my area that could be there and give me a kick out the door and go with me and help me silence all my discouraging thoughts.
My sleep issues are caused by me having experienced extreme trauma during my parent's divorce and I have frequent nightmares where my mother tries to kill me.
Medication is very useful for several things, why else would we take estrogen and t-blockers?

[Janes Groove]

I am dark under my eyes due to very superficial blood vessels and a chronic lack of sleep.

That's not what I was referring to.  I was referring to the actual color of your eyes.  i.e. specifically the irises.

[930310]

My eye colour is a mix of brown, blue and green. They're probably just looking dark in the picture.

Here they are with better lighting:

[930310]

I wanted to help you!  I have problems with sleep, too.  I am using a Cpap machine for almost 20 years now, to be able to get a decent sleep.  It is a medical fact that you do not need your sleep quantity all over night, you can split your sleep up into several segments.  Have you ever been tested in a sleep lab?  Maybe that they can help you to find the reason for your sleep problems.  Medication is not the solution to a problem, one has to find the root cause, and wok on this, see if your doctor will prescribe a sleep lab test for you!

But how do you expect to solve your journey to become a female, if you do not work on it?  Anxiety and depression can be controlled with medications, and if you set out to become female, this would/might take some of the depression away from you.

I wish for you that you find a solution for your problems, but it is very often not easy to achieve the solution.
Just don't forget, nobody here started out as a female, we all had to go through a lot of problems to get there, and e still have to solve problems.  We can try to give you ideas and advice, but it is you wo has to implement them to fit your life.

Good luck on your path and Merry Christmas
Linde

I just went ahead and ordered products from one of our largest suppliers, H&M, so I'll get these in a week or so.

[Ryuichi13]

I just went ahead and ordered products from one of our largest suppliers, H&M, so I'll get these in a week or so.

Good for you! 

Next, hit youtube's makeup videos, and practice, practice, practice!  Even if you end up using up all of your makeup and need to buy more, practice using it until you feel you look good enough to go out of the house wearing it.  Then go out of the house wearing it, even if its to the corner store.  The more you go out wearing it, the more confident you'll feel, and (hopefully!) the better you will feel.

Good luck and Happy Holidays!

Ryuichi

[930310]

So I got the make up and have practiced a bit but I get so discouraged since it feels like I look exactly the same when I have primer+foundation+concealer+blusher+bronzer. Then when I do my eyes I just look hideous. I try to follow what the people in the videos do but I just end up hating how I look and quitting.

This is how I looked today... 

[GordonG]

It takes practice, practice and more practice. Remember what you didn't like the last time, and either don't do it that way, or try doing it with a lighter hand. Sometimes less is more. When I first started doing my eyes, my wife said I looked like a scared racoon! Now I'm way more subtle. And sometimes I don't think I put on enough, but she says its good.

[Linde]

I am somehow not able to do anything to my eyes, if I came close, they shut like a vault!  I plan to get the eye stuff tattooed on, and be one with it.  I get a lot of compliments or the rest of my makeup, but eyes, forget it!

[Ryuichi13]

I think you look just fine!

Ryuichi

[930310]

Usually the goal with make up is to look more feminine, my results have been FAR from that during these first attempts. I look more like a drag persona in the picture I posted. I guess toning down/skipping the eyeliner is better for me.

[Linde]

Usually the goal with make up is to look more feminine, my results have been FAR from that during these first attempts. I look more like a drag persona in the picture I posted. I guess toning down/skipping the eyeliner is better for me.

As others said, you have to try to find the makeup that fits you!
I don't need much makeup, because I am blessed with a pretty flawless skin.  Others are not that lucky, and they need more of it.  And for the eyes, at least you can do something to/with them, i have to leave my eyes alone, they don't want me to come near them with any object!

Just experiment, until you find the makeup that enhances your appearance!  You look pretty feminine to me already! Just believe in yourself!
Hugs
Linde

[KathyLauren]

You did well for an early attempt.  Keep practising!  You'll get it.

Remember that the single biggest feminizing accessory is a smile!

[930310]

Today's practice (I skipped the eyeliner). It's hard for me to get good lighting when I take selfies since I don't have any lamps that are that strong.

[Linde]

Today's practice (I skipped the eyeliner). It's hard for me to get good lighting when I take selfies since I don't have any lamps that are that strong.

You did pretty well!  I would put some more color on the eyebrows.  I don't think your eyes themselves need much at all, because you have a pretty good presence there.  You have to learn to make your face a little more friendly looking, just a little hint of a smile would do wonders!
Hugs
Linde

[930310]

I have a weird smile since half my mouth/lip is semi-paralysed following an accident eight years ago. It makes my smile crooked.

[Linde]

I have a weird smile since half my mouth/lip is semi-paralysed following an accident eight years ago. It makes my smile crooked.

Try it, even a crooked smile is better than no smile!