Hello!
I'm Emppu and I'm new here. (Well, I posted in the coming out section about week and been lurking here for last 6-7years ish, reading experiences and general information.)
I think my story is rather typical for most parts... First thoughts about being actually a girl occurred soon after hitting puberty (which also gave me small breats/gynecomastia which didn't really help much with the struggle of what am I/who am I.. since my 20s I accepted them, mostly for the occasional giggles and now I embrace them) Experimented with sisters clothes while I was still small enough and generally wondering "what if".
After that the thoughts kept coming randomly and more and more frequently as the years passed.
Of course I ignored the thoughts or just brushed them off as kink/fetish type of stuff and practically told I was a man. Hair on face and all that. Plus the extra package downstairs (which I have pretty much always considered mostly as a burden..always on the way and even more thoughts of getting them removed if something hit them)
Well, I have realised that my melancholic nature and many issues are rooted in the topic of not being in correct body. I have practically neglected myself emotionally and physically because "why bother, it's not the body I want/should have so...why take care of it". I have pretty much forced myself to live as I am because of other peoples expectations and I hate to cause grief or troubles for others.
Well, now that I finally admitted honestly to myself, told my fianceé and one friend that I might actually be a woman I have managed to get so much done in so little time already. Dentist first time in 12years, dealing with few skin issues, generally more open about my thoughts and emotions and now gathering myself to try get an appointment for the therapist and actually looking forward to life, no matter what challenges it might bring.
As I told in the coming out section, my fiancée was devastated but we talked a lot in the few days and she´s much better now. Of course sad that we are separate and worries about me and my issues but also is super supportive and looking forward aswell because she want's to see how this unfolds for us. It's bit tricky as we lived in mexico and because of this, I flew back to Finland because I prefer to deal with the therapists and everything in my native tongue.
All in all, I could write so much more but gonna save a bit for later. So.... HI!
∿ Emppu
