Worried.....

[OliverR.]

Anyone on here have experience with having mental illness and access to HRT? I'm worried because I have a history of being hospitalized for bad ocd and depression and for whatever reason the doctor thought I was having hallucinations when I told them over and over I'm having intrusive thoughts! (not sure if I ever got through to them)You'd think they'd be knowledgeable enough to know the difference. I live in maine by the way. Very, very worried my history will affect my ability to get on T.

[Dena]

Hormones normally are less difficult to get than surgery. The rule normally is if you don't have issues that will interfere with treatment, they will not withhold treatment from you. It sounds like if your records are accessed and this comes up, you will need to explain what you were trying to say but it should prevent you from being treated.

[OliverR.]

Thanks, I'm currently working with a therapist who has dealt with patients with intrusive thoughts and he understands it's very much different than having hallucinations. All I worry about is that in my old records it says "possible thought disorder." I never got that as a concrete diagnosis though......which is good I hope.

[Dani]

The overriding concern is are you able to make a rational decision for yourself?

Intrusive thoughts is such a broad category, the term itself is almost meaningless. Sometimes the label is worse than the condition. Your therapist knows the difference and how you can deal with this.

It wasn't too long ago when just being transgender was considered a mental illness. We have progressed quite a bit since then.

[OliverR.]

Yes, my therapist knows that I am capable of making these decisions myself. I was hospitalized in 2006, so it's been a long time since then. Here's an explanation of ocd intrusive thoughts: https://peaceofmind.com/education/types-of-ocd/intrusive-thoughts/ The one i was having that sent me to the hospital was of me making myself think (even though i knew in my heart it didn't happen) that I was raped in the bathroom at school.  I did know that it wasn't real  but I still couldn't stop worrying. It's a very hard thing to describe to someone without sounding crazy, so I guess I don't blame them. My therapist told me of a guy he worked with who had a daily mail route and he kept worrying that he might've hit someone in the road so he kept going back to check. It can greatly interfere with your life.

[skipulus]

I've been there and then some and did I ever worry! I was convinced they would never let me through the door let alone on T given my past MH history.

Then I discovered that many of us have a significant struggle with mental health before transitioning and they understand that being born in the 'wrong body' is a causal factor for these.
Additionally, atypical gender identity is frequently comorbid with many other neurological disorders including OCD.

I have a long patient file, hospitalisations, suicidal, been diagnosed with a range of personality disorders.
Today I'm Autistic, ADHD and trans.
After starting hormones my intrusive thoughts have gone way down and my mental health is far more stable, I'm more confident and comfortable in my skin.

I have a therapist and a psychiatrist and they manage my general mental health. It was enough for the gender doctors to know that my MH was well managed and that my therapist and psychiatrist approved the transition.

Knowing that my MH was well managed; the gender doctors viewed my previous mental history as evidence of my dysphoria in the past,  and my current diagnosis of neurodevelopmental disorders further strengthened my case since they now know that there is an established connection between the two.

Don't be afraid of this, be honest and open about your past and how you are now handling it with your therapist and it should work in your favour.

Hope it goes well!