Zoe and Kim, there is no need to be sorry, you are both right in that she fears for her own wellbeing. I am not ashamed of who I am. Let me explain why I still respect her fears. She hasn't had a lifetime of learning about transgender, and doesn't have a support resource such as this. Like most people, she doesn't understand transgender, and lack of knowledge breeds fear. She believes, as I did, that people will point and laugh. She fears the reaction of her friends and family. She married me and is committed to be my partner, even though I am actively changing. If I could 100% pass, I believe she would fear it less, but, like most people, she fears me standing out as different, or as some may view it, freakish. Yes, they are her fears for herself, but as I am committed to her, I must regard those fears. I believe that for the commitment and support she has shown, I owe her a couple more years to learn and grow with my changes.
As I said before, it is all about what is most important to you. For me, I would give my life for my loved ones, so a little time and education seems a reasonable price to pay to keep them with me. We are all different. We are all changing. For you, the importance is on being yourself, and I respect that. I have a really strong maternal instinct, so my focus is my family, and then me. This thread has changed my outlook for myself, but not my priorities. I'm hoping I can get through this transition, and now maybe be as a non passing me, and still keep my loved ones close. It may not work, but I would feel terrible if I didn't give it my best shot.
It is awesome that you pass on your experiences, and it really does help many of us, but please remember, we are all different, with different needs, circumstances, beliefs, and backgrounds. I do respect where you are coming from, but ask you to also respect where others are coming from.
Allie