Wow, Saturday was an awesome day! It probably wouldn't have been worth noting for most of the world's population, but for me and my bestie @sassycassie, it was yet another special experience in our transitions.
It started out with a breakfast gathering of the volunteers from the DeLand Sport Aviation Showcase a few weeks ago. My awesome friends, the organizers of the show, offered to pay for breakfast for any volunteers who showed up at a local flying club's fly-in breakfast. Not having a plane at the moment, we drove in.
We were greeted and treated as the women we are. That's all we're known as at the DeLand show, except for exceptional people like the organizers. Actually, I'm pretty sure they don't know about Cassie. She's just my cis-woman friend to them. Since I had worked in such a prominent position at the show, most of the volunteers who were there recognized me and remembered my name. It was a warm feeling to simply be known as I will be for the rest of my life. It's so refreshing and liberating to be free of the feeling of dread I carry around my home neighborhood. Life as it should be.
After breakfast and departing hugs, we headed for Universal Studios to make use of our yearly passes once again. Cassie got to show her relatively new ID as we went through the gates, always a subtle squeee moment.
Despite not being able to ride the Mummy Ride...
...we were pretty confident the day would turn out great.
Coffee at StarSchmucks, beer and butterbeer in Diagon Alley, a stage show, and aimless wandering, brought us to lunch at Margaritaville.
We took in an animal show, then it was time to see the Blue Man Group. We shook our tail feathers with the rest of the audience (look up "Shake Your Euphemism" on YouTube). What a fun show!
Not wanting to leave yet, we went looking for a place to listen to some music, and ended up at the Red Coconut. We relaxed with fruity rum adult beverages and snacks, and enjoyed the music and each other's company.
As we relaxed we got a little cuddly, and apparently it didn't go unnoticed. Our awesome waitress caught Cassie on the way out, and with a big smile said something I couldn't hear in her ear. When we got out into the quiet she told me that the waitress had said, "You two were so beautiful tonight." Awwwww!!
But here's the thing that makes this worth journaling about. Our waitress, and everybody else in the entire park, saw only two cis-women. There wasn't a single incidence of misgendering, not a single sideways glance, no weirdness by anyone, all day long. Whereas I used to move through the world with the anxiety level running at 8 or better, now it idles at a 1 or sometimes shuts down entirely. It has gotten to the point where being called out would be a surprise, and I think I'd be prepared to counter any claims if someone were to suggest that we are anything other than cis-women. It's almost exactly 13 months since my friends took me out to Disney as my authentic self, and things have changed so much it's almost disorienting.
But I'm not complaining. In a week and a half, I'm going to be taking an international flight to Paris - by myself. Nobody to lean on, with the special one from whom I draw strength staying behind. But I can do it. The confidence built up through experiences like Saturday will carry me through. I remember reading all the stories of the women and men here who had gotten through their social transitions, and I was so envious of them. How could they do it? Where did the strength come from? They were so beautiful and confident. I could never be like them.
Well, here I am, World. I may not be beautiful, my strength fails me at times, and my confidence ebbs and flows, but I'm out there living the life. If I can, everyone else can, too. As I read painted on a fence a while ago, "Everything you want is on the other side of fear."
I'll meet you there.
Stephanie
