Courtney's life begins here, redux

[Lori Dee ✅]

Courtney,

Sorry, it has been a rough patch. Stop and take a breath.

Your brain is running in hyperdrive trying assess every possible outcome, while multitasking the appointments and things that need to get done on time. It is doing unnecessary work trying to protect you from imagined horrors.

Time to unplug for a bit. Yes, it is a scary world out there for us, but we have small safe spaces available. It may be as small as your home, or as big as a city, but safe places do exist. Yes, we are attacked as a group, but not as individuals. Those people don't know who you are, and they are not looking for you.

Relax for a bit, take a nap if you can, and focus only on the things that are impacting you directly, like your appointments. As my dad likes to remind me:
90% of the things we worry about never happen.

Go easy on yourself.

[Charlotte_Ringwood]

Hey Courtney,
So sorry to hear that you had a rough day. Some places just can't get their stuff together! These days fluster me too and set off doubts. Just weakens our resolve a bit I guess. With regards your worries, I really feel for you and others in the US. Not living there I can't make an honest appraisal of how bad it is to advise you in detail.

But the procedure is so soon now. With everything planned and set in motion I'm more than confident it'll all happen. It can be hard with so much happening not to worry, but you're strong and intelligent, so will have done everything you can to make this a success.

This one is for you. Something to take you closer to the women you aspire to be. Everything else will find it's way and fall into place just from you being true. I'm sure you didn't take this decision lightly so made a strong decision that overall this will be good for you. And that you can find a way to live happy and successful as a woman, handling any negativity with your inner strength. Please give yourself some love, rest and reflection time. Maybe write down your worries with a response of either they're not valid because X or how you have mitigated them in your plan. It helps for me and might you.

Sending you love and cuddles! March is going to be a good month...that big step for us both towards our truth.

Charlotte 😻

[Dances With Trees]

'Dark' certainly wasn't hyperbole, though the comedy of errors did make me smile. A wan smile, imagining your angst bordering on desperation. But the rest of your post brought me to tears. I'm glad you ended with painful boobs so I could smile again. And may hope end in fruition.

I have the same fears about moving forward and fantasize about having the wherewithall to live wherever I choose, wear whatever I want, like the person I see when I look into a mirror. On the bright side, Lucy Sante's I heard Her Call My Name was delivered yesterday. Along with a red dress. I look forward to reading the book, but the dress hangs unworn in my closet. All the things you listed in your post have stolen the joy and anticipation I felt when I ordered it. Perhaps, Lucy's words will inspire me to try it on. I hope today is better for you. For all of us.