Courtney's life begins here, redux

[Courtney G]

Sorry to hear your partner isn't as accecepting of your changes as she could be. Still it is nice to have breasts for yourself more than anything. Mine are also rounded out now. I guess that means they are Tanner stage 4 or 5 by now.

Thanks. It was a calculation I made. I was already in my mid 50s when my egg cracked and I told my wife (my girlfriend at the time). She wasn't happy but she accepted me and we slowly moved forward, as we continue to do today. My "new" body is pretty normal for both of us but she has some difficulty with my newfound body positivity as her body ages. I don't really get much validation from her.

I've read countless accounts of lives being torn apart after one comes out, of pain and loss, and I consider myself very lucky, especially at this age when so many know they can't come out without losing almost everything. Fortunately, HRT has helped quell my desire for intimacy but it's still difficult at times.

I think mine are Tanner V, although they could be IV. I can't imagine them getting much bigger on this torso of mine. But I don't complain!

[ChrissyRyan]

Courtney, you sound like such a nice person.  Thank you for your willingness to share.



Chrissy

[Northern Star Girl ✅]

  @Courtney G
Dear Courtney:
Your description of your body hair after years of HRT is much like mine. 
I have not needed to any shave body hair areas for years now. 

I now no longer need to undergo Electrolysis anymore....  a big savings $$$

Also what you described about your breasts is very similar to my breasts after years of HRT.
They are plenty big ...and soft, but nicely perky... 😀
I started HRT back in March of 2015, just over 11 years ago and been Full-Time since December 2016.

I am wishing you well in you continuing journey and please keep updates coming.
      ❤️
HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

[Courtney G]

@ChrissyRyan Thank you, love - that's very kind. Well, I can be quite sarcastic, almost sardonic at times with a biting whit. But I consider myself a good person and the idea of coming off as mean breaks my heart. I was never the bully growing up; I hung out with the nerds and weirdos because I felt I belonged with them.

@Northern Star Girl: After 4.25 years, I'm really starting to see a more female overall body shape. As I understand it, those curves are more a part of the 5-10 year plan than the 1-5 year one. Was that your experience? I feel it's important to me to present an unmistakably female profile and that goes beyond simply having breasts. It seems that switching to estradiol injections from patches earlier this year has turbocharged some changes, even after years of HRT.

[Lori Dee ✅]

I think mine are Tanner V, although they could be IV. I can't imagine them getting much bigger on this torso of mine. But I don't complain!

The difference between Tanner stages is:

Stage 4: Areola elevated above the contour of the breast, forming a "double scoop" appearance
(think "puffy" nipples)

Stage 5: The areolar mound recedes into a single breast contour with areolar hyperpigmentation, papillae development, and nipple protrusion

Just clarifying that it is not about breast size.

[Northern Star Girl ✅]

@Northern Star Girl: After 4.25 years, I'm really starting to see a more female overall body shape. As I understand it, those curves are more a part of the 5-10 year plan than the 1-5 year one. Was that your experience? I feel it's important to me to present an unmistakably female profile and that goes beyond simply having breasts. It seems that switching to estradiol injections from patches earlier this year has turbocharged some changes, even after years of HRT.

@Courtney G
Dear Courtney:

YES, definitely more a part of a 5-10 year plan than a 1-5 year plan.
Like most things concerning how HRT changes the body, it is a "painfully" slow process
that works differently, slower, quicker, more dramatic, less dramatic in every body - YMMV. 
  The overused expression of "I want it all, and I want it now" definitely does not apply.

Usually not noticeable at frequent viewings but after being patient for a few years.... it becomes
wonderfully apparent. 
I did not end up with an exceptionally curvaceous body, but definitely female.  When things
finally were getting going with my body appearance after 3 or 4 years l had NO problems in the
women's restrooms, changing and locker rooms.
100% passable with very few exceptions.

HRT does not do it alone.... diet and exercise is a must.

I am 5 foot, 4 inches in height and weigh 120 pounds +/- 
With HRT I did lose a lot of muscle mass but I never was a super strong person.

[Courtney G]

@Lori Dee That's the thing, I've had puffy, protruding areolae since very early on and I've read that some people reach Tanner V and still have that, so I really don't know. I definitely do have a "mound on mound" appearance, though.

@Northern Star Girl Oh, how I'd love to be 5' 4" rather than 5' 11"! I don't want to stand out in a crowd; I want to blend in. I only weigh 170 pounds at this height so I suspect our body fat percentage is similar.

[Northern Star Girl ✅]

@Courtney G  @Lori Dee

I have a theory... the weight I lost in muscle mass went directly to my boobs...
sounds reasonable to me. 🙃

HUGS, Danielle[Northern Star Girl]

[Courtney G]

I have a theory... the weight I lost in muscle mass went directly to my boobs...
sounds reasonable to me.

Same!

[Stottie Girl]

@ChrissyRyan Thank you, love - that's very kind. Well, I can be quite sarcastic, almost sardonic at times with a biting whit. But I consider myself a good person and the idea of coming off as mean breaks my heart. I was never the bully growing up; I hung out with the nerds and weirdos because I felt I belonged with them.

@Northern Star Girl: After 4.25 years, I'm really starting to see a more female overall body shape. As I understand it, those curves are more a part of the 5-10 year plan than the 1-5 year one. Was that your experience? I feel it's important to me to present an unmistakably female profile and that goes beyond simply having breasts. It seems that switching to estradiol injections from patches earlier this year has turbocharged some changes, even after years of HRT.

I think we are around the same length of time on HRT and you are right the significant body shape changes have only recently started to happen, body fat on thighs and butt, much slimmer arms, much more significant muscle loss. I would say you are bang on with the 5-10 year projection. It is a slow process but I'm glad as it means the exciting journey can continue for quite some time yet!

By Lori's definition my boobs are defnitely tanner 5.

I'm 5'7" so split the difference between you but I agree, I would love to be 5'4". Oh and size 8 or 9 (UK) shoes too. Being UK10, that is the worst i'm just on the edge of all the great womens shoe options. Weirdly I used to have to buy size 12 shoes so I have lost two sizes, I'm praying for just 1 more size as there are loads of shoe options at size 9!

[Lori Dee ✅]

Well, I have not lost any weight in several months, and no boob growth.

I think this study confirms the theory!

[Courtney G]

UPDATE:

Only two more blood thinner injections and I can stop feeling like a pincushion. For those who haven't been following along, the injections were prescribed by my GP as a prophylaxis against a possible blood clot. A necessary measure but an unpleasant one. I'll be relieved after tomorrow morning.

My mouth remains pretty sore, with dissolvable sutures still in place on both the top and bottom. I messaged the surgeon about the pain and since I show no signs of an infection, they claim this is normal and there's nothing to worry about. My chin is still somewhat swollen but not very sore, and the numbness is almost gone. I suspect I'll have near-zero numbness after about another week to 10 days.

I'm looking forward to the follow-up with the surgeon this week. I'm hoping they put me on the schedule for phase II of FFS (rhinoplasty, lip lift, fat injections, some skin tightening). I really want to see more of what they're started. I'm used to my face now and while I'll agree that I look more feminine, I still have a ways to go.

I'm also excited to get back to weekly electrolysis visits. I have SO MANY hairs on my face, with the remaining dark ones almost exclusively on my chin (the rest are grays). I suspect it will be at least 2 years before my face is cleared of hairs. Sigh.

Last night was my weekly estradiol injection. I woke up crying, having had a dream about heartbreak or loneliness or something. I continued to cry for a few minutes, then fell back to sleep. This has happened before, always overnight following my injection.

Today's weather was hot. I went fishing with a 24 year old guy from my neighborhood. I wanted to come out to him but decided not to. We've been fishing a few times and we get along, but I don't want it to get "weird." He's a reasonable person (hates trump) but he was in the military and I really don't know how he feels about trans people. And there's so much rhetoric these days about us; it's hard to guess how people might react. But the hot weather is making things difficult, and my breasts have become so hard to hide.

I guess I need to get all of this facial hair removed and I need this next surgery and maybe this will be easier. Being trans is so hard sometimes.

[Sephirah]

If you can get to probably 10% of @Northern Star Girl, you will be on the right track, sweetie.

[Stottie Girl]

UPDATE:

Only two more blood thinner injections and I can stop feeling like a pincushion. For those who haven't been following along, the injections were prescribed by my GP as a prophylaxis against a possible blood clot. A necessary measure but an unpleasant one. I'll be relieved after tomorrow morning.

My mouth remains pretty sore, with dissolvable sutures still in place on both the top and bottom. I messaged the surgeon about the pain and since I show no signs of an infection, they claim this is normal and there's nothing to worry about. My chin is still somewhat swollen but not very sore, and the numbness is almost gone. I suspect I'll have near-zero numbness after about another week to 10 days.

I'm looking forward to the follow-up with the surgeon this week. I'm hoping they put me on the schedule for phase II of FFS (rhinoplasty, lip lift, fat injections, some skin tightening). I really want to see more of what they're started. I'm used to my face now and while I'll agree that I look more feminine, I still have a ways to go.

I'm also excited to get back to weekly electrolysis visits. I have SO MANY hairs on my face, with the remaining dark ones almost exclusively on my chin (the rest are grays). I suspect it will be at least 2 years before my face is cleared of hairs. Sigh.

Last night was my weekly estradiol injection. I woke up crying, having had a dream about heartbreak or loneliness or something. I continued to cry for a few minutes, then fell back to sleep. This has happened before, always overnight following my injection.

Today's weather was hot. I went fishing with a 24 year old guy from my neighborhood. I wanted to come out to him but decided not to. We've been fishing a few times and we get along, but I don't want it to get "weird." He's a reasonable person (hates trump) but he was in the military and I really don't know how he feels about trans people. And there's so much rhetoric these days about us; it's hard to guess how people might react. But the hot weather is making things difficult, and my breasts have become so hard to hide.

I guess I need to get all of this facial hair removed and I need this next surgery and maybe this will be easier. Being trans is so hard sometimes.

Hot weather is a bitch when you are trying to be stealthy. I feel your pain. I tend to hideaway or go out in much bulkier thicker clothing than I'm comfortable in. I can't wait for the day when I can go out in a tank top or cami top or hell maybe even a bikini on a beach like Ashley! It will be such freedom I will feel like I've gone to heaven!! One day Courtney, one day.

[Courtney G]

If you can get to probably 10% of @Northern Star Girl, you will be on the right track, sweetie.

Amen, sis. NSG has it going on.

Hot weather is a bitch when you are trying to be stealth. I feel your pain. I tend to hideaway or go out in much bulkier thicker clothing than I'm comfortable in. I can't wait for the day when I can go out in a tank top or cami top or hell maybe even a bikini on a beach like Ashley! It will be such freedom I will feel like I've gone to heaven!! One day Courtney, one day.

YES! I want to be able to walk around in cute tops and feel perfectly comfortable. I'm so gosh darned proud of these breasts and I need to show them off!

[Stottie Girl]

Amen, sis. NSG has it going on.

YES! I want to be able to walk around in cute tops and feel perfectly comfortable. I'm so gosh darned proud of these breasts and I need to show them off!

Mind I would probably soon regret it. I will likely burn to a crisp! I am very fair skinned unfortunately.

[Courtney G]

My blood thinner shot this morning completes my 28 day script of post-FFS prophylaxis. No more fear of cutting myself by accident. And back to my once-a-week estradiol valerate jab.

It was a quiet Easter morning here, until...

I decided to make a nice pancake breakfast for us. I was buzzing away in the kitchen, cooking some flapjacks and prepping a nice egg scramble with onions, ham, tomatoes and cheddar cheese when the knife slipped. I cut two fingers.

I'll spare you the details, except to say that it was messy. Luckily, it doesn't look like I'll need stitches.

Oy.

[Gina P]

That's a shame. Sorry to hear, at least no stiches.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Oh no Courtney..when you were just talking about avoiding cutting yourself. Glad that you got it under control and things are progressing back to normal now. I hope breakfast was nice after all that 🙂

Charlotte x

[davina61]

Yup I  have injured myself more cooking than working on the car!!