Courtney's life begins here, redux

[Courtney G]

One more thing: the insurance company refused my last 4 electrology claims. They decided that they needed a federal form W-9 and copy of the business license from my electrologist! I'd already jumped through all of their hoops, so they sat down and came up with a couple more. And they already have my electrologist's tax ID number, address and so on and they can easily Google her and verify that she's legit. Plus, I submit the credit card receipt for each invoice as well as the invoice itself so they can see that I actually paid for each visit. I suppose they'll want to see my credit card statements yet.

No worries, I've already submitted the requested info. I'll submit a DNA sample if I need to. I won't let them win. I have to believe that I'm being discriminated against due to the type of treatment I'm getting (gender-affirming care).

[Courtney G]

I think you look amazing.  I can only hope I look half as good.😗

I'm sure you will, hon. HRT is magic, as is positive thinking.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Honey, I DO need someone to massage my ego, lol. I have low self esteem. Clinically speaking, I have some form of body dysmorphia, which means even when people tell me I look good (or pass as a woman, etc) I have trouble believing them. My eyes see and my brain tells me that I'm not enough. FFS has helped a little bit and the body development this medical transition has caused has helped a lot, but it's a slow process. Sometimes, I think I look cute but I don't know if I'll even believe I could pass or even get by.

Thanks so much for the kind words of encouragement and flattery!

Totally get all this too if I'm honest, although I take it totally to heart because of my mental health. Like you since FFS I've been happier with my facial femininity bar a few dips occasionally. I wont go as far as ever having thought I look even remotely cute to myself. Body is a different thing. That I'm currently completely unhappy with and can only wait and hope it gets better.

Like you say believing what people say is difficult and often hard to accept. For me that is because I know many people will lie to make someone feel better. Also someone's silence / word choice is actually a much better determination of someone's true appraisal of how one appears. I carefully consider each word and often notice that wording can be passive in its usage. For example citing that and outfit looks good whilst avoiding reference to the person being nice in the outfit. I guess I'm very sensitive to reading between the lines and maybe to much so!

Charlotte X

[Lori Dee ✅]

I agree that you look amazing!

I think that many of the issues we have stem from the procedures being labeled as Gender Affirming Care. Since all of my medical care comes from the VA, I have informed them that, according to their own records, I transitioned in 2022. Therefore, I am not receiving Gender Affirming Care. The care I receive is no different from what any other cis-woman veteran would receive. HRT is Hormone Replacement Therapy, which is common for women my age, especially those who lack ovaries or have diminished ovarian output due to age or disease. My electrolysis is still considered "cosmetic" because I have yet to convince them that my correct diagnosis is "hirsutism" and I am being treated by a non-VA provider.

As my friend, the accountant, told me, "It's not what you say, but how you say it."

[Courtney G]

Totally get all this too if I'm honest, although I take it totally to heart because of my mental health. Like you since FFS I've been happier with my facial femininity bar a few dips occasionally. I wont go as far as ever having thought I look even remotely cute to myself. Body is a different thing. That I'm currently completely unhappy with and can only wait and hope it gets better.

Like you say believing what people say is difficult and often hard to accept. For me that is because I know many people will lie to make someone feel better. Also someone's silence / word choice is actually a much better determination of someone's true appraisal of how one appears. I carefully consider each word and often notice that wording can be passive in its usage. For example citing that and outfit looks good whilst avoiding reference to the person being nice in the outfit. I guess I'm very sensitive to reading between the lines and maybe to much so!

Charlotte X

Sadly, I do think that the affirmations people provide us with are often borne of kindness, which means they are willing to exaggerate a little or say something nice whilst not necessarily believing it themselves. Trans people in online spaces will tell a very masculine-looking trans woman that she's "gorgeous" but it's sort of a rote comment in many instances. This is made worse when they pour extra compliments on a person who isn't meeting most people's standards for what they think gorgeous is.

The more evolved among us are saying it from a place of absolute honesty, since any trans woman living her truth is, in fact "gorgeous." It's not about "oh, you have features that are just like Michelle Pfeiffer," rather it's "I see the beauty that is you and I won't hold you to any unnecessary standards of what any person should look like."

I'm working on evolving my way of thinking on a daily basis and I'm starting to see people's true beauty without trying to compare them to some useless template. This is something we should all aspire to. If everyone could do that, then you and I wouldn't spend so much energy trying to measure ourselves against our perception of beauty and/or femininity.

Charlotte, I see the beauty in you. I look at your face and see a cute roundness, devilish eyes, a pretty nose and really lovely lips. But I see a woman, not because of those features, but because that's what I know you to be. I see you for who you truly are.

[Petunia]

Charlotte, it is kinda hard to really judge how you look from one photo and to be fair that is only one part of passing. If your posture and movement is like mine you won't pass as a woman.

But it doesn't look like that to me.  Your face looks like a nice middle age lady. Your body looks like someone who has taken care of themselves and you look quite fit. Your obviously pleased with your breasts and if you wear a low cut top like the other photo you posted I know where most peoples eyes will go, you will be looked at.

But I don't see anything that says guy.