I realized recently that my first ever trans memory was earlier than I thought. I have long thought that my first identifiable trans memory was from when I was seven, reading a kids' magazine and wishing I was the girl in the photograph.
But I think there is another one, from when I could not have been more than four or five. It is fuzzier than the other one, but my memories are strongly linked to place, and I could easily take you to the exact location of this one, within a metre or two. I had probably accompanied my mother to the grocery store, and we were walking home. At the corner of our street, I told my mother that I wanted to be a girl. She, of course, told me that I couldn't, because I was a boy, and not to think of it again.
I don't know what brought up the subject, but it might have been triggered by meeting girls in school. I started primary school at age five, and it was the first time i encountered girls. (There was only one other family with kids on our street, and, like my family, the kids were all boys.) We moved a few months later, so I can't have been more than five at the time.
Like I said, it is a fuzzy, vague memory. I don't remember the exact words spoken, and I don't remember what brought up the subject. I do recall that my mother's response was negative. And the fact that it is tied to an exact location suggests to me that the memory is real.
It is significant, because it supports the idea that I have always been trans, something I have long believed.
