Hi Allison - first of all, welcome! Second of all, like Heidemarie has already said... there not only are people here whose stories will be similar to yours (as hers is) but more importantly your story is unique to you!
Don't let others write the story of you and your wife. That story is yet to be written... and when it is, it'll be done by the two of you. All outcomes are still possible, but I can tell you this, the fact that you already have an open line of communication with her puts you way ahead of the curve!! That's a really great start!!
Maybe you might want to consider enlisting the help of a gender therapist? For you as an individual to talk through all the issues you're dealing with and/or someone separately to work with both of you as a couple (or someone just to with your wife?). No reason to go through any of this alone.
Yes, you have each other... and that is huge, but if you have the ability to bring in some professional help to help navigate things, you might find it of use.
Regardless, just wanted to add my "welcome!" And hope you find Susan's to be the warm and supportive place many of us know it to be!
Love,
Allie