Robby's Journey

[Lori Dee ✅]

Glad to hear it, Robyn!

Thanks for checking in. We missed you.

Hugs!

[Stottie Girl]

Hey Robby hope you're doing OK, was wondering where you'd got to!

[Robbyv213]

Hey everyone just a quick update.

I guess I'm doing okay. It's been about 2 and 1/2 months since my wife and I separated I started living on her own. It's kind of been hit or miss whether or not I've been good mentally or not in the beginning. I think my wife and I both are getting used to life without each other. Especially me not having the family around.

Will try to get together every now and again so that the animals that we each took get to have play dates. Every once in awhile I'll be invited over to my wife's house for something or other and it always seems like it destroys me the next few days afterwards. Like I've lost my family and even though they say that I haven't lost them they're still a very obvious shift in the way they talk and act around me now. Which I guess is to be expected since we're all trying to move forward as best we can.

Have been trying to fall into a routine I guess but my mind seems to be scattered in what direction I want to commit to. I still feel very much stuck in one place. Having to continue to be Robert at work and then try to be Robin outside of work is exhausting.

I've been trying to find other forms of employment for insurance reasons and nothing seems to be happening or moving in that aspect. Had another interview with REI but nothing is come of it. And like I said it's already been 2 months or so and I only have 10 more months until my lease is up so at what point do I decide to just stick out the rest of my time at my current job so that I can hopefully save up enough money to move to Washington without selling everything I own to do it.

On one hand I very much want to try and move to Washington to be closer to my child but I'm very much burnt out of being a mechanic and working at my dealership. Granted since my wife and I have been separated I feel like there is a weight that has been lifted and that I feel like I'm kind of getting back to being more of a optimistic and positive person like I was before being in a relationship with my wife. So in that aspect I feel work has become a bit more tolerable mainly because of my shift in my mindset. But like I said my work doesn't provide insurance and I feel it would still very much be a hostile place to try and transition at.

So I'm torn between trying to decide if I should stay put and hope I am able to save enough money to move to Washington or if I should jump on the first job that comes my way that has insurance that covers gender affirming care. I think if I had insurance I would most likely transition as fast as the insurance would allow me to....

And then there's the constant struggle of trying to decide whether or not I want to try and get a small as I can with my figure or staying where I'm at roughly give or take a little bit of size. Which is a dilemma because it's two very different approaches to try and achieve those different outcomes.

So I feel basically since my wife and I have separated that I've been stuck not being able to decide and commit in one particular direction or goal to help me move forward in achieving the bigger goal of transitioning.

Like I said I do feel I have had a mental shift to where I feel that I am more positive and being more grateful for things then being in a negative mindset. But even with that I still have bad days like anyone else.

So that's basically it and how things have been going

[Lori Dee ✅]

Thanks for checking in, Robin.

You are still going through the adjustment phase. It takes time, and you'll get there. You seem to have a positive outlook on it. I have found that if I need to decide on something and there are not a lot of options, the best thing to do is wait. Situations change, opportunities come and go. When the right one shows up, you'll know it, and you will be ready.

Good to hear from you again!