What is your gender identity?

[Camille58S]

Yes! I feel exactly the same way, Lori! When I first responded to this thread, I still felt that I was male... mainly. But, my journey this year has changed my thinking. I think and respond to the world differently now. There is still a male element to myself. But it is no longer in control. It got absorbed into who I am now. I hope that I'm making sense here. It's hard to explain. I don't get angry anymore. That emotion has been replaced with empathy. I move differently. Slower, more gracefully. I can't say that I am a woman now. I spent my life as a male. I feel that the most honest answer to the gender question is that I am a trans woman.

[KathyLauren]

My gender identity is female.  If pressed, I will admit to being trans-female.  And, if pressed harder, I will admit that my femaleness is probably not 100% binary.  Close to it, though: I am much closer to being binary female than to any variety of non-binary.

My sex (meaning the configuration of my genitals) has changed, thanks to the good surgeon.  And my paperwork has changed to match.  My gender identity has not changed.  I now understand that I have always been female, since at least as far back as I can remember, and likely back to before I was born.  They told me that I was male, but they were wrong.

[AlisonM]

My gender identity is female.  If pressed, I will admit to being trans-female.  And, if pressed harder, I will admit that my femaleness is probably not 100% binary.  Close to it, though: I am much closer to being binary female than to any variety of non-binary.

The only way to know that I am trans is the style of clothing I wear (only because I haven't come out yet to my family), my hair length and my genitals... and I plan to remedy all of them in the near future.

[darilee]

I am me, the face of a male and the body of a women. all 128 lbs. of me and gorgeous C-cup breasts. I'm not interested in pigeonholing myself theirs enough people doing that already. I always wear women's under clothing and at times I'll wear women's outer clothing and sometimes I'll wear men's. It's whatever makes me feel comfortable for that particular day. But one thing seems to always be the same once my day ends and I'm at home relaxing with my wife I'm all women, and thats it. It never changes, so what am I? that's actually an easy one I'm me.

[Northern Star Girl ✅]

@darilee
Dear Darilee: 
Perfectly and wonderfully stated. 
I am so happy to read that you are confident in who you are.  I like what you stated about
wearing women's or men's clothing and that you will wear whatever makes you comfortable for
a particular day... and that when you day ends you are at you home relaxing with you wife.

Thank for sharing your lovely story.
HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
    The Forum Administrator

I am me, the face of a male and the body of a women. all 128 lbs. of me and gorgeous C-cup breasts. I'm not interested in pigeonholing myself theirs enough people doing that already. I always wear women's under clothing and at times I'll wear women's outer clothing and sometimes I'll wear men's. It's whatever makes me feel comfortable for that particular day. But one thing seems to always be the same once my day ends and I'm at home relaxing with my wife I'm all women, and that's it. It never changes, so what am I? that's actually an easy one I'm me.

[Jillian-TG]

I'm basically "in the closet" so officially I am male (because I was AMAB) but I have a very strong female side to my personality and if have had to put a % on it then I would say in a free world I would be 60% female and 40% male but it could swing to as much as 80% female. So I would say I'm gender fluid because I do enjoy moving back and forth between the genders. I can't consider myself non-binary because when I am feeling feminine then it is very binary and I want to be a woman completely. That's very binary. Interestingly I never go to the other extreme of fully male.

So I think gender fluid suits me best but to the outside world I'm male. Sigh.

[Petunia]

Like Robbyv213, I think my identity is still loading.
AMAB, quite a lot of girl in the early years but liked boy sports.

Crossdresser before puberty.
Fetishistic crossdresser during and after puberty, but enjoyed underdressing because I had to hide.

Into middle age I saw myself in the mirror and began to hate what I saw, so I was male again

Almost into my 60s going through quite a bit of trauma, I find myself wanting to present differently again.

My wife asked why have you started cding again. I couldn't give a clear answer but after doing a lot of research I really have ticked off most of the transgender boxes.

I can't say I want to transition but if I suddenly woke up female tomorrow I wouldn't be dissapointed.

Of course I can see this is kind of misogynistic as this makes it seem like being a woman is so simple and easy and at my age it means I would have skipped so much of the hard things women go through.

I find myself needing to slow down and go back a bit and start communicating better with my wife.

As far as labels go I don't care what people I don't know say, but I do worry about what some male friends would think. But I reslly don't have any close male friends.

[Lori Dee ✅]

I can't say I want to transition but if I suddenly woke up female tomorrow I wouldn't be dissapointed.

Of course I can see this is kind of misogynistic as this makes it seem like being a woman is so simple and easy and at my age it means I would have skipped so much of the hard things women go through.

I find myself needing to slow down and go back a bit and start communicating better with my wife.

I think that you will find that many of us went through the same thing in some form or another.

There is no requirement to transition. Many transgender people do not, for a variety of reasons, including health, safety, and finances. How you want to live your life is your business.

Definitely keep communicating with your wife. If you have difficulty with that, perhaps a marriage counselor can help. Especially one with experience with gender identities. Seeing a marriage counselor does not mean your marriage is broken or needs fixing. They are there to help you both better communicate with each other. It provides a safe space where you two can really discuss important issues without getting sidetracked or interrupted by outside influences.

Good luck. We will be here if you need us.

[Dawn Kellie]

I don't know what my gender is. I have some female tendencies. I also have some manly ones. I would fave to say something fluid

[Dawn Kellie]

Life's to short to worry about labels
I am me.
If you want to put a label on me that is your label not mine.
It's amazing once you get of a certain age or mind set labels don't matter

[Lori Dee ✅]

Life's to short to worry about labels
I am me.
If you want to put a label on me that is your label not mine.
It's amazing once you get of a certain age or mind set labels don't matter

This is exactly right.

I am not a label. Labels only address a very small part of who I am. I know who I am, so if others are wrong, that's on them.

[Northern Star Girl ✅]

Read this informative posting regarding definitions of Gender Identities:

        Standard Terms and Definitions on Susan's Place
    https://www.susans.org/index.php?topic=54369.msg337984#msg337984

HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
   The Forum Administrator

[Charlotte_Ringwood ✅]

I can only really describe myself as Agender/Genderqueer. In reality I don't feel any gender at all. I can't lock onto anything.

[Courtney G]

After years of working on this and years of therapy, I've settle on considering myself genderfluid. I'm still a "guy" and I do "guy" things, but I know that both are social constructions. I know that gender roles don't mean a thing. But I don't mind being thought of as a guy.

On the other hand, I enjoy being recognized as a woman. In particular, I'm slowly getting over decades of body dysmorphia that I think were triggered by gender dysphoria. I never liked my male-coded body and dreamed of having a female one, but I thought my discomfort was caused by being tall and lean and feeling "less than." Some bullying and shaming from others didn't help at all.

Now I like my body a lot more. I want my body to be seen. It's pretty uncomfortable at times because I present as male and have kept myself hidden for several years.

With ongoing changes happening in my appearance and upcoming facial feminization surgery, I can't help but ask the following questions:

1. Do I call myself genderfluid because I don't believe I can be seen/see myself as fully female or is it what I really want for myself?
2. Will that change if by some miracle I find myself being read as female more of the time than not? I've not had the privilege of passing so I don't know if that experience would "flip" the switch.
3. Am I simply afraid to commit to a female identity? I'm so used to being "a normal guy" for so long, and I feel that switching away from that is really scary.

This is something I hope to figure out for myself. But if I end up flipping between genders, that's ok because I'm still much happier than I'd be if I'd never come out to myself and started my transition.

[Stottie Girl]

I believe I am female in mind but not body and I have been for as far back as I can remember, I have no doubt there. My earliest memories are of wanting to dress like my mum and play with other girls and their toys. I knew something wasn't right. As a teenager I was so jealous of the girls in my school as they went through puberty and blossomed into beautiful women and I went in an opposite direction. I obsessed about them and other famous women privately but it was never sexual, I wanted to be them so badly.

I have actively avoided so called lad culture all my life and I've never been involved in a fight always preferring to avoid confrontation. I have enjoyed some activities and interests that are male focussed but I think that a lot of girls would enjoy them too if they tried them. My best and pretty much only close friend is a girl and I have always struggled getting to know other men. I tended to ride on the coat tails of male peers and take their lead it never felt natural to me.

Trans issues weren't really discussed when I was growing up and by the time they became more mainstream I had built a comfortable world around me. I have lacked the courage to do anything permanent about it up until now but I am sure I will one day.

That is a longwinded way of saying I think I am definitely transgender and not anything in between and I've never really thought I was anything else.

[Rochelle]

Life's to short to worry about labels
I am me.
If you want to put a label on me that is your label not mine.
It's amazing once you get of a certain age or mind set labels don't matter

I feel this exactly the same being older.  I have not a care what think about me.  I am happy the way I am and don't need someone else's validation about it.  It can be nice if it's there, but it's not needed.

[Lori Dee ✅]

I ruled out genderfluid because I don't change. Still feel female regardless of looks. I still have more masculine hobbies, so I am just a Tomboy. If people don't like it, they'll just have to get over themselves. It's not about them. Never was.

😁