Lilis' World

[Dances With Trees]

Congratulations, Lilis! Happy New Year and Happy New You!

[Lilis]

Hi everyone,

I had a Late Somatic Release and Embodiment Shift (Personal Reflection)
I wanted to share a personal experience in case it resonates with others, especially those who've lived many years suppressing parts of themselves for safety.

Recently, during meditation and gentle somatic relaxation, I experienced what felt like a significant nervous-system release.

I realized my body had been chronically braced especially through my spine, hips, and gait for decades.

As that guarding softened, I noticed increased mobility, less pain, emotional release, and a sense of being more "in" my body.

For context, I've spent much of my life hiding my chest and femininity, often hunching or holding tension to avoid attention.

I didn't realize how much that had shaped my posture and movement until it began to unwind.

This wasn't sudden or forced.

It seemed to happen after a long period of increased safety, identity permission, and supportive spaces.

Since then, I've been in an integration phase, learning how to live with more softness and embodiment without pushing or overinterpreting it.

I'm sharing this not as advice or a solution, but as a reminder that our bodies sometimes hold survival patterns far longer than we realize, and that change, when it comes, can be subtle, physical, emotional, and very human.

If others have experienced something similar, I'd be curious to hear how you integrated it over time.

For clarity, I'm also discussing this with my therapist to integrate it responsibly.


~ Lilis 🌷

[Pema]

Lilis, congratulations on reaching this awareness and release. And thank you so much for sharing your experience with us.

I'd say that I've experienced a few of these events over the course of my life. I've generally thought of them as "epiphanies" or revelations of some significant inner truth that had been suppressed. I'm a firm believer (from experience) that our bodies are sensitive detectors of our emotions, and if we tune into those signals, we can identify their source and release them to become healthier and more whole than we had previously been. I've always found that the underlying cause was conditioned thoughts and beliefs that limited my sense of myself and/or the world. By shedding those beliefs and accepting what is, I've been able to experience less resistance and greater peace.

Your question about how to integrate it over time is without a doubt the most important one. Discovering it and understanding it are wonderful, but changing it - changing ourselves - is the hard part. There's probably no single answer, because it will depend on the person and their circumstances. What I've found is that my body continues to be my most reliable gauge. I know what that tension feels like - I'm not breathing as deeply as I could or my jaw muscles are taut - so I check in with my body when I think of it (or especially if I feel "off" somehow). When I observe it, I ask myself what it is that I'm resisting, and I try to release it. Even if I never identify something specific, a generic "surrender to what is" will often free the blockage.

I also know that this isn't a linear process; I won't overcome this hurdle and never face it again. I have absolutely reverted to conditioned sleepwalking during periods of my life. Integration of these lessons is a lifelong practice.

I'm excited for your discovery and your enthusiasm for moving beyond your constraints, so I hope you'll share more of your own process as you continue down this path. I think it's a huge gift to others to demonstrate your commitment to allowing yourself to blossom.

EDITED TO ADD: Whenever I find myself "off track," it's literally *always* because I'm lost in mind activity. The surest way for me to move out of that is to focus on inhabiting my body to dis-identify with my mind and return to something closer to pure consciousness.

[Lilis]

Lilis, congratulations on reaching this awareness and release. And thank you so much for sharing your experience with us.

Thank you, Pema! 🫂🩷

Yeah something seems to have softened as my life stabilized and my identity no longer felt under constant threat.

The change hasn't been dramatic or sudden in a "revelatory" way, but more like a quiet settling, less bracing in my body, easier movement, and a calmer internal sense of self when interacting with others.

I'm viewing this as a late-stage integration process rather than a transformation, and I'm continuing to ground it through therapy.

I wanted to share this in case others recognize similar shifts that happen gradually once safety, time, and permission finally come together.

I read some where that Estrogen and Progesterone in gender affirming care can  amplify what's already there of those feelings over time as well.

It's a liberating feeling!


~ Lilis 🌷