Dear all,
wanted to continue the story, while two weeks passed. The day after the earlier message I announced to the coworkers in the unit that they will have a 'double farewell', not only because we had planned a drink for another colleague leaving: I'll leave the unit end of the month and the same day the known male(name) will disappear. Result of a long process of introspection, the 'male' no longer fits and perhaps hadn't fitted already for a long long time. So I am joining what some in the US consider the violent, terrorist transgender conspiracy....
The reaction: "Wow, courageous", applause, "What's the new name?", "Shall we use it right away?" "What are the pronouns?"
Completely natural, incredibly welcoming and open. I was so overwhelmed that I had to volunteer to carry drinks and cake to quickly leave the room – and have the opportunity to manage watering eyes. Later it turned out that our team is probably the queerest in the house, but I would be the only transgender. Seemingly, when younger colleagues were discussing recently over a beer whom to put to 'left or the right of the queer line" they agreed to put me 'on the line' :-)
Anyway, the next I had to travel for business to Portugal and thanked them for their welcoming reaction admitting how touched I was and how important it is for me. After landing, the message came in that this has caused 'collective tears'.
My spirit was so high that I used the days in Portugal to practice at the event the more female voice – it worked pretty well, sounded nice. It was the last public event I was be announced with the old name. In public I dressed androgynous to female. I enjoyed the second, confused looks – and could bite my .... ,that two times I was spontaneously addressed as female but didn't manage to respond with the female voice.
And, a treat, I got my earlobes pierced and bought a pair of beautiful earrings.
The German admin is waiting and creates the only downer: I asked the embassy / foreign office for experience with neutral gender marker in the passport, and if there is a possibility to get a second passport issued with an M/F marker. The response was impolite: In essence, "read our website' travel info, it's documented for every country" and "the marker in revised birth certificate has to be replicated in the passport and all information in all documents has to be same". Checking the country travel pages, al large number of countries don't accept a neutral marker. Not only the US and numerous African countries, but also United Arab Emirates even for boarding planes for airport transit in Dubai / Abu Dhabi.
So I wrote politely back that what they wrote in effect means that I cannot exercise my right of self determination of gender without significant disadvantages in my professional career as international civil servant and that I wonder how the legitimate security interest of the Germany related to the risk of issuing two passports with deviating gender markers can outweigh the restriction of my rights. Result: The embassy administration is in the process of thinking, in need of additional info from the ministries and services in Germany (from their response).
So let's see what happens. Perhaps I opt finally for the F marker. Doesn't make a difference for the US while other countries only have a problem with the X-marker. Looking forward to 'my date' next week.
Dear Sarah, thanks for the nice response. Indeed we didn't meet although almost neighbors. You might have joined a bit later but in postings OMG 9:4000.
