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Emma1017 ... Which hurts less - Volume Two

Started by Northern Star Girl, April 19, 2025, 08:30:30 PM

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Emma1017

#720
May 26, 2026, 08:38:08 AM


It's so sad. I am traveling to London and wanted to go shopping as me. Last year, I nearly wet myself hurrying back to my hotel to go to the bathroom.

I just read that British laws have gone the path of some US states, restricting bathroom usage to biological sex.

I guess I should invest in some DEPENDS, incontinent underwear, to go shopping, or just give up and go in male drag instead.

Travelling solo makes it all so much more dangerous as a transgender women. I should rent a wingwoman...



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Stottie Girl

#721
May 26, 2026, 11:18:07 AM Last Edit: May 26, 2026, 01:52:44 PM by Stottie Girl
Quote from: Emma1017 on May 26, 2026, 08:38:08 AMIt's so sad. I am traveling to London and wanted to go shopping as me. Last year, I nearly wet myself hurrying back to my hotel to go to the bathroom.

I just read that British laws have gone the path of some US states, restricting bathroom usage to biological sex.

I guess I should invest in some DEPENDS, incontinent underwear, to go shopping, or just give up and go in male drag instead.

Travelling solo makes it all so much more dangerous as a transgender women. I should rent a wingwoman...




Emma, I don't think anyone would actually a) notice you were trans or b) particularly care enough to confront you or report you. However, if it does bother you, all these shops have to provide gender neutral bathrooms in the form of disabled facilities or unisex bathrooms, both are fine to use. We should not have to do that and it is not fair on the disabled community but that is where we find ourselves. Actually disabled loos are often far nicer and have loads of room!

As I understand it, technically the law is not even a mandatory law and it is simply guidance that single sex spaces should exclude trans people. They are basically leaving it up to the businesses themselves to implement or ignore the rule. Ludicrous situation! Not all will implement it but you are unlikely to know what the policy is just walking around.

This is all because of one idiotic court ruling in Scotland. It will take another case to overturn that decision as it's all based on precedence (there are several major legal challenges to this ongoing) but I would think there is a very strong case of discriminitaion of trans women and men, far stronger than the rather weak argument that caused this mess in the first place. I would imagine there will be some relaxation or adjustment of the rules when shops cannot provide these gender neutral spaces. A lot of premises simply cannot fit additional spaces for bathrooms.
A wise man once said don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes, that way when you judge him you're a mile away and you have his shoes!

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on - Billy Connolley
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Charlotte Kitty ✅

#722
May 26, 2026, 11:32:08 AM
Ignore it, there is no law. Just gotta walk in, do your business and walk out. I use the ladies now. Worst I've had is someone say 'oh lord of mercy'. Most times i just go in and nothing. If i ever get confronted, I won't engage and just carry on. That's probably the best course of action. Of course nothing is risk free, but highly doubt you'd get any serious threat.

Terrifies me going into the ladies, but I'm not stopping! I'm hopeful you'll be ok.
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davina61

#723
May 26, 2026, 12:08:15 PM
It wont stop me, just quote the human rights act at them and say they are breaking the law confronting you. I f you need wing women I am sure some of us would love to meet you. XX
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Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever

Lori Dee ✅

#724
May 26, 2026, 01:29:49 PM
With all the women we have here from the UK, you could assemble a wing-army.

I agree that there is no need for confrontation. Do your business and leave. If anyone says anything, just give them a look like they are insane for questioning you.
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Emma1017

#725
May 26, 2026, 03:40:36 PM
To bad there no central point up north that I could meet you all. I could skip London and fly north. I just need to be in Southampton on June 8.

It would be tight to pull off.

Stottie Girl

#726
May 26, 2026, 04:04:29 PM
There's only me and Lauren in the North and we really aren't that interesting ha ha! The likes of Davina and Charlotte would be closer to you. You can't get much further away from me in Southhampton! I think it's a 6 hour drive, 5 hour train!

If I ever get rich enough or interesting enough to be offered free passage on the QM2 I'll give you a knock in New York! Of course, you could smuggle me in your baggage I suppose, I'm only little honest! To be fair, all the Trump bashing I've done online I'll probably be instantly deported!

I'm assuming Southampton is for departure on the QM2?
A wise man once said don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes, that way when you judge him you're a mile away and you have his shoes!

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on - Billy Connolley
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Emma1017

#727
May 26, 2026, 04:43:59 PM

Yes, I leave from Southampton.  Too bad, but we would probably need bail money, and I would miss the ship.

"To be fair, all the Trump bashing I've done online, I'll probably be instantly deported!" Sarah if that were true, half the US would be deported!

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Stottie Girl

#728
May 26, 2026, 05:13:47 PM
Quote from: Emma1017 on May 26, 2026, 04:43:59 PMYes, I leave from Southampton.  Too bad, but we would probably need bail money, and I would miss the ship.

"To be fair, all the Trump bashing I've done online, I'll probably be instantly deported!" Sarah if that were true, half the US would be deported!


It could be smack bang in the middle of my move to be honest. It's a shame really, it would have been nice to meet up in person. If I was fully out socially I would have been tempted to travel down to meet you half way but I would be too nervous going all that way en femme at the moment.
A wise man once said don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes, that way when you judge him you're a mile away and you have his shoes!

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on - Billy Connolley
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Emma1017

#729
May 26, 2026, 06:14:25 PM


Sarah, I totally get it.  Being transgender and getting together is tougher than being separated by an ocean.

We live in an absurd world!

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Sephirah

#730
May 29, 2026, 03:18:56 PM
British people are so reserved that we probably wouldn't say anything at all. We would just arrive home in the evening and be like "Guess what happened today!"

Most people don't care, and people who do care, are too British to say anything.

Yeah, There's really only myself and Sarah representing Northern pride. She is far more Northern than I am though, and I love it. ;D
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Stottie Girl

#731
May 29, 2026, 03:40:57 PM
Quote from: Sephirah on May 29, 2026, 03:18:56 PMBritish people are so reserved that we probably wouldn't say anything at all. We would just arrive home in the evening and be like "Guess what happened today!"

Most people don't care, and people who do care, are too British to say anything.

Yeah, There's really only myself and Sarah representing Northern pride. She is far more Northern than I am though, and I love it. ;D
Yeah, I'm further North but you're just as much a Northern lass as me! Though we both know we can speak with a plumb in our mouths when we want to 😉

Lauren's right, most people just wouldn't say anything and I very much doubt anyone would tell authorities either. Most people abide by the "snitches get stitches" rules!
A wise man once said don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes, that way when you judge him you're a mile away and you have his shoes!

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on - Billy Connolley

Emma1017

#732
May 30, 2026, 08:16:08 AM

Here in northern North America, the natives have no reserve in expressing themselves, but I figure if I can hazard the cultural wilds of NYC as Emma, I think I will survive another stroll around London again.




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Stottie Girl

#733
May 30, 2026, 12:18:51 PM
Quote from: Emma1017 on May 30, 2026, 08:16:08 AMHere in northern North America, the natives have no reserve in expressing themselves, but I figure if I can hazard the cultural wilds of NYC as Emma, I think I will survive another stroll around London again.


That's the spirit Emma! In London in particular you will be fine! Nobody makes eye contact with anyone and the majority of people seem to be foreign tourists anyway!

For a Northerner the no eye contact thing is awful. We happily chat away to total strangers on the bus, in the shops, on the trains, everywhere. It is noticable when you see southern folk up here and they look blankly at you or slightly surprised. I guess it comes from how densely populated it is down there maybe.

Not all Southern folk are like that of course! Shouldn't use sweeping generalisations!
A wise man once said don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes, that way when you judge him you're a mile away and you have his shoes!

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on - Billy Connolley
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Emma1017

#734
May 31, 2026, 08:04:49 AM


Having grown up in NYC all my life, I have learned when to engage with someone and when to ignore them, but being out as a transgender female, it is challenging to deal with all the insecurities that adds.



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Stottie Girl

#735
May 31, 2026, 11:09:39 AM
Quote from: Emma1017 on May 31, 2026, 08:04:49 AMHaving grown up in NYC all my life, I have learned when to engage with someone and when to ignore them, but being out as a transgender female, it is challenging to deal with all the insecurities that adds.

Well NYC is a big international city too so you will have some anonymity there surely that makes it a bit easier? I live in a former pit village outside a not so big regional city so you tend to see the same people all the time. Ignoring people isn't really an option for me. Lauren's village looks even smaller so probably has the same issues.

I have insecurities coming out the wazoo! I'm a fearful little creature really. It's hard not to have insecurities on this journey.
A wise man once said don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes, that way when you judge him you're a mile away and you have his shoes!

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on - Billy Connolley
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Charlotte Kitty ✅

#736
May 31, 2026, 12:42:34 PM
I must say I find it pretty stressful sometimes if random people talk to me out and about, but more because of social anxiety. Sometimes it works out ok like when an elderly lady chatted to me at the bus stop. I was feeling good so had a nice conversation.

Where I live isn't quite southern but not quite northern in the way people are. The black country was a mining area too but its got very built up and diverse.
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Stottie Girl

#737
May 31, 2026, 02:27:29 PM
Quote from: Charlotte Kitty on May 31, 2026, 12:42:34 PMI must say I find it pretty stressful sometimes if random people talk to me out and about, but more because of social anxiety. Sometimes it works out ok like when an elderly lady chatted to me at the bus stop. I was feeling good so had a nice conversation.

Where I live isn't quite southern but not quite northern in the way people are. The black country was a mining area too but its got very built up and diverse.
Small talk is just about practice really. You can't help but get that here as everyone is always chatty. It's when it is more than small talk that I start to crumble a bit.
A wise man once said don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes, that way when you judge him you're a mile away and you have his shoes!

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on - Billy Connolley
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davina61

#738
June 01, 2026, 02:59:23 AM
I talk to random folks in the supermarket whether that want me to or not!
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017
GRS 2021 5th Nov

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Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever
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Stottie Girl

#739
June 01, 2026, 04:43:55 AM
Quote from: davina61 on June 01, 2026, 02:59:23 AMI talk to random folks in the supermarket whether that want me to or not!
That's the way to do it Davina! engage with them whether they want to or not ha ha!
A wise man once said don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes, that way when you judge him you're a mile away and you have his shoes!

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on - Billy Connolley
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