My appointment with my VA provider scheduled for today was rescheduled to next week giving me more time to study for the cognitive skills assessment.
I'm sure I'll pass. I function quite well unless I'm stressed or undertake a complex task. Then, I crumple like a house of cards. So, if you need a hug or an attagirl, I'm your girl. But if you need advice or are on the ledge, well, I hope the hug helps.
Thing is, sometimes I awaken with no idea of who I am. No idea of anything. Finding words, remembering names or birthdays never was my strong suit. But I usually knew my own name. And, as a mother, responded quite well to emergencies ranging from broken hearts to broken bones. Now, I turn into a bowl of mush. I have a wendy fit (a new word I learned today).
All I want from the VA is a prescription. If they want to stick my head into a loud tube, I can handle that. But I'm afraid they'll tell me I didn't pass the test regardless of how hard I studied.
Today did not go well for me or for those I care most about. Sometimes I wish that when I awaken and can't remember my name I didn't glimpse something at my bedside or heard something stirring inside my home that made me remember. It's a very odd feeling.
