A Journey of a Thousand Miles

[Sephirah]

As much by choice as necessity, I take comfort in retreating to my little corner of Susan's.

I considered saying things on other topics about God and hate. About the moment we're in. But the words were hard to find. So, in my little corner, I will repeat the words that mattered most to me recalled from my many years as a devout Christian: As I have loved you, love one another.

And about hate, I guess we'll know more tomorrow at 8 pm EST. Just in case, I asked my daughter to buy ten pounds of seed potatoes. If we don't run out of water, we will make it through the midterms.

I am a compulsive writer. And I am so grateful to Susan, Danielle, Lori and all the people who formed and sustain Susan's Place for giving me this space to ply my compulsion.

Now, I just need to think of something worth saying.

You are not someone who doesn't know what to say. You just don't know how to not throw someone under the bus.

[Dances With Trees]

You are not someone who doesn't know what to say. You just don't know how to not throw someone under the bus.

I love you, Sephirah. I always have and I always will.

[Pema]

You are not someone who doesn't know what to say. You just don't know how to not throw someone under the bus.

Wait. Did I miss something? Was there a throwing-under-the-bus that I've overlooked? I'm confused.

[Sephirah]

I want to take this opportunity to publicly and wholeheartedly apologise to Annika. And to anyone who has been, or may be hurt, or offended. I never should have posted anything and regret it deeply. It was a dark moment and one I am not proud of. I can be very broken at times, and while I try to hide it most of the time, sometimes I am unsuccessful.

That is no excuse.

Annika, I hope you know how I feel about you. To you, and everyone, I am sorry. It will never happen again.

[Pema]

Thank you, Lauren. I appreciate this more than you know.

In my view, it's not evidence of you being broken. Every one of us is human and therefore imperfect. We all have sources of stress in our lives - and I know you have yours - and sometimes, inevitably, we respond to other people in ways that are less than our best. You are allowed to have those moments, same as the rest of us.

Acknowledging when it occurs and apologizing is welcome and adequate (for me). There is no need to promise anything, because Life will bring what it will, and we will do our best to respond with compassion. Sometimes we'll fail. And that's OK.

Thank you again.

[Stottie Girl]

I want to take this opportunity to publicly and wholeheartedly apologise to Annika. And to anyone who has been, or may be hurt, or offended. I never should have posted anything and regret it deeply. It was a dark moment and one I am not proud of. I can be very broken at times, and while I try to hide it most of the time, sometimes I am unsuccessful.

That is no excuse.

Annika, I hope you know how I feel about you. To you, and everyone, I am sorry. It will never happen again.

It took me so many attempts to figure out what you were apologising about there Lauren.

I can't believe there is a single person on here who doubts you have anything but good in you.

[Courtney G]

Annika, I'm sorry I didn't find my way into this conversation sooner. And now that I have, I'm really not sure what to say. My heart aches for you and your current struggle. And I want your dreams to come true. This fight, this battle to find our way to our truth is a tie that binds us like no other. Your pain is our pain.

I guess all I can say is: keep shaving, keep your pretty things, wearing them when you can. You're Ani now and nothing can ever change that. And we'll be waiting here if you have a few thoughts you want to share. You're a beautiful human being and our lives have been made richer with you in them.

[Dances With Trees]

I can't believe there is a single person on here who doubts you have anything but good in you.

I don't presume to speak for Sephirah and am merely concurring with your assertion, Sarah. Sephirah is the most beautiful, gentle, and loving soul in my world. She has carried me on her shoulders and comforted me in my darkness hours. More than that; she has laughed and danced with me on my brightest days. And never asked for anything in return. Nothing more than a smile.

All I ask of you, dear friends, sisters, is to put this moment behind us. Almost all of us are in pain. That's what draws us to this place searching for someway to ease our pain. At least, that was the desperate hope that compelled me to step through Susan's door for the first time and all the times since. And Sephirah would always find me. I love you all. Despite the things going on in my personal life aside from all the sturm and drang associated with gender variance, when I am here I am among friends. And I have bad days. We all do. I will do my best to be there for you. I will grieve with you, mourn with you, and celebrate with you. I hope this moment brings us closer together. There are more than enough things happening in our worlds determined to drive us apart. Massive hugs.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Everyone on here are such kind and beautiful souls. Sending lots of love, hugs and kindness to everyone. Hope you're doing ok and having a nice peaceful Sunday?

Charlotte 😻

[tgirlamg]

💕 I Love You Anni-Girl!!!...  Dance On Sister!!! 💕🌲💃🌲💕

Onward We Go!

A💕

[Dances With Trees]

Beautiful day on the prairie!

I suspect I'll be dancing with trees by noon.

I needed to take a bit of a break to sort out a few things. With a little help from my friends (thanks, Sephirah and Ashley), I'm ready for whatever is next.

I have six siblings. When I 'came out', two of them broke off all contact with me and only one of my remaining siblings would call me by my name. After my cognitive skills assessment, I gave them an ultimatum: either call me by my name or don't call me at all. I haven't heard from any of them since.

In a way, I feel so empowered! But it is certainly a bittersweet journey.

I am determined to share what's bright and beautiful about my journey. It's impossible to ignore the sorrow and drama but I'll be darned if I'll allow those moments to distract me from the moments that matter. Hugs to everyone on SP. It's good to be back.

[Lori Dee ✅]

Hi Anni!

Good to see you here again, and good for you for standing up for yourself.

I had a similar issue with people deadnaming me. I had to just ignore them as though they were addressing someone else. When they tried to get my attention, I told them that wasn't my name, and I didn't realize they were talking to me.

I have had political parties call and use my deadname, and I tell them there is no one here by that name. It took a few months, but they stopped calling.

I like the way you put it, call me by my name or don't call me.

Hugs!

[Stottie Girl]

Beautiful day on the prairie!

I suspect I'll be dancing with trees by noon.

I needed to take a bit of a break to sort out a few things. With a little help from my friends (thanks, Sephirah and Ashley), I'm ready for whatever is next.

I have six siblings. When I 'came out', two of them broke off all contact with me and only one of my remaining siblings would call me by my name. After my cognitive skills assessment, I gave them an ultimatum: either call me by my name or don't call me at all. I haven't heard from any of them since.

In a way, I feel so empowered! But it is certainly a bittersweet journey.

I am determined to share what's bright and beautiful about my journey. It's impossible to ignore the sorrow and drama but I'll be darned if I'll allow those moments to distract me from the moments that matter. Hugs to everyone on SP. It's good to be back.

It's tales like this that make me glad I'm an only child. Blood is supposed to be thicker than water but that's not always the case. It is their loss Anni. It is a stain on their character that they won't be able to wash out. That they couldn't bury their bigotry even when you have the condition you have is upsetting. At least you have one sibling who respects you and loves you.

You absolutely did the right thing telling the others that.

Yes indeed, concentrate on the bright and beautiful, there is a lot of beauty in the world to be seen and felt.

[Courtney G]

So good to have you back. Good on you for giving them that ultimatum.

[Pema]

Yay, Anni! Be your beautiful self!

[Northern Star Girl ✅]

@Dances With Trees
Dear Anni:
I loved reading your ultimatum: either call me by my name or don't call me

Continue with success and happiness in your journey.

Along with your other readers and avid followers, I am always eagerly looking for your
updates and postings on your Blog Thread and/or around the various Forum threads and topics.

Many HUGS... and even more hugs.
        ❤️
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

[Dances With Trees]

It's tales like this that make me glad I'm an only child

Thanks, Sarah, and everyone else who voiced their support.

One would think that being yourself shouldn't be all that difficult or cause so much discord.

Courtney, you look marvelous, Girl! And dear Lori, Danielle, and Pema--it is great to be back among all the beautiful people who dwell inside Susan's home.

Today will be especially awesome. My daughter is travelling to Billings after work to be with her partner. I will be able to wear whatever I want all day long and well into tomorrow.

Despite the ultimatum I gave to my sisters, I am not brave enough to dress femme when my daughter or her partner is home. The sacrifices we make for our children.

So, what shall I wear while dancing with my trees? Not that choosing the day's attire is a life altering decision, but it feels good to focus once more on those things that matter most.

[Lori Dee ✅]

So, what shall I wear while dancing with my trees? Not that choosing the day's attire is a life altering decision, but it feels good to focus once more on those things that matter most.

Many of the stock photos that come up in an image search show flowing dresses and barefoot. That seems appropriate to me.

[Stottie Girl]

Thanks, Sarah, and everyone else who voiced their support.

One would think that being yourself shouldn't be all that difficult or cause so much discord.

Courtney, you look marvelous, Girl! And dear Lori, Danielle, and Pema--it is great to be back among all the beautiful people who dwell inside Susan's home.

Today will be especially awesome. My daughter is travelling to Billings after work to be with her partner. I will be able to wear whatever I want all day long and well into tomorrow.

Despite the ultimatum I gave to my sisters, I am not brave enough to dress femme when my daughter or her partner is home. The sacrifices we make for our children.

So, what shall I wear while dancing with my trees? Not that choosing the day's attire is a life altering decision, but it feels good to focus once more on those things that matter most.

Well I don't know what the weather is like in your part of the world Anni but here it is spring, sunny and around 13-15 degrees celcius (55-59F). I'm loving wearing long flowy boho style skirts with a short sleeve T-shirt or camisole top and wedge sandles. So comfortable and feels so feminine.

[Dawn Kellie]

Something light and flowing. Perhaps a green of a floral print. Let the wind cool you and nature touch yuo