I wanted to share something that happened last week. My wife was away on a trip, and I was home alone with the kids. Every day after dropping them off at school, I would dress as myself and enjoy the day. I wore my earrings, bracelets, necklaces—everything. In fact, I took out all my clothes and left them in the closet, in my closet, where I could choose my daily clothes as anyone else.
One day, however, I forgot to change before going to pick up my kids from school. I had been wearing a pair of beautiful medium-sized white pearl earrings and had my hair in a ponytail, so they were quite noticeable.
When I arrived at the school, I passed a couple of parents and some of the children. One of them was a child who has bullied my son in the past. Both of my kids are under ten years old. I simply said, "Hello, how are you?" and carried on.
I spoke with my daughter's teacher. While I was talking with her, my daughter came over and said, "Daddy, finally you got your earrings!" At that moment, I realized what was happening. I quickly took the earrings off and continued talking with the teacher.
The truth is that I was absolutely terrified.
I was extremely afraid that this would somehow backfire on my kids. I worried that the bully would start teasing my son about it, or that other children might make comments. I was also worried about what the parents might think or say.
I questioned myself, my existence and that I cold not bear the weight of hurting or doing anything that would hurt my kids.
I had very defensive thoughts and those spiraled to dark places...quitting being me for ever and being the man society sees and apparently wants.
I questionned my manhood? (I have been, literally, where very few people have been, I have taken part as a medic in 4 armed conflicts and I am not in the army, been and coordinated humanitarian aid and rescue missions worldwide...and checked many of the manhood boxes)
I questionned my womanhood?, the way I am, how I am and how I feel when I am me...and felt as if I was being ripped of a part of me...
That night was really difficult for me, and the following day was no better. I went back to pick up the kids from school, trying to act as normally as possible, while anxiously waiting for reactions.
And, to my surprise, nothing happened.
Nobody mentioned it. Nobody seemed to have noticed. Nobody said anything to my children. There were no comments, no questions, no strange looks, nothing at all.
I have to admit that part of me became very defensive. I found myself thinking, "Why would they?" The reality is that the main reason I am not fully out of the closet is because I want to protect my children from any possible consequences or comments. I am incredibly protective of them, so the fear of something happening to them was overwhelming.
Maybe one day someone will say something, and maybe they won't. But on this occasion there were no questions about the earrings, no comments about how I was dressed, and no reactions at all. Or maybe there is but not in public...who knows.
What's funny is that, in a way, that was almost frustrating—not because anything happened, but because nothing happened. The complete lack of reaction from the community challenged many of the fears I had built up in my mind.
It was a very scary experience for me, especially because of how protective I am of my kids. At the same time, I had felt so good throughout that week. I received compliments, I felt great, and honestly, I completely forgot I was even wearing the earrings. They just felt natural. I looked nice, I felt good, and I simply went about my day.
Anyway, I wanted to share this story with you because it was a very stressful moment for me.
So, here's one more story to add to the collection.
Thank you, loves. Have a lovely day. 🩷
