Alana's Journey

[Alana Ashleigh]

Since my journey started, I've let everything happen at its own pace. I haven't forced anything. This week, I noticed that my mannerisms have gotten much more feminine. There's far more swish when walk now. I caught my reflection off a window, and saw I was standing with my hip popped out to the side, and I noticed a few times this morning I was talking with a higher pitch than I normally do.

[Stottie Girl]

Since my journey started, I've let everything happen at its own pace. I haven't forced anything. This week, I noticed that my mannerisms have gotten much more feminine. There's far more swish when walk now. I caught my reflection off a window, and saw I was standing with my hip popped out to the side, and I noticed a few times this morning I was talking with a higher pitch than I normally do.

The swish when you are walking might have always been there to a degree but maybe you are starting to fill out in the upper thigh, hip area so it becomes more noticable? Are you measuring your body to track progress? I found that helped me when I first started out. Sadly When I switched from my pc to my mac I forgot about the spreadsheet and lost those measurements for good. It was good though once a month to measure all my measurements and track the progress. Worth doing.

I totally catch myself with the hip popped all the time. How strange that the body is subconciousy doing that. I bet there are other manerisms too. I play with my hair a lot more now even though its only just long enough for a pixie but I think that stems from the long wig. I have sort have developed muscle memory for it.

[Alana Ashleigh]

The swish when you are walking might have always been there to a degree but maybe you are starting to fill out in the upper thigh, hip area so it becomes more noticable? Are you measuring your body to track progress? I found that helped me when I first started out. Sadly When I switched from my pc to my mac I forgot about the spreadsheet and lost those measurements for good. It was good though once a month to measure all my measurements and track the progress. Worth doing.

I totally catch myself with the hip popped all the time. How strange that the body is subconciousy doing that. I bet there are other manerisms too. I play with my hair a lot more now even though its only just long enough for a pixie but I think that stems from the long wig. I have sort have developed muscle memory for it.

My hips and upper thighs have definitely filled out. I do a lot of lower body weight training as well. I did measure my hips a few months ago. My hips measured 41.5 inches if I remember correctly.

[Alana Ashleigh]

I was out shopping after work this afternoon. As I was making my way around the store, I was hit with the feeling that I was very small, and I felt very vulnerable. I've mentioned on here before that I'm over 6'0, and I'm physically fit. I'm not exactly small and vulnerable. I did a bit of research, and it seems to be physiological and psychological. I'm curious if anyone else has experience anything similar to this.

[Northern Star Girl ✅]

@Alana Ashleigh
Dear Alana:
I am 5 foot  3 inches and 120 pounds ...  I always feel very small but I have
a big personality and a strong will.
HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

I was out shopping after work this afternoon. As I was making my way around the store, I was hit with the feeling that I was very small, and I felt very vulnerable. I've mentioned on here before that I'm over 6'0, and I'm physically fit. I'm not exactly small and vulnerable. I did a bit of research, and it seems to be physiological and psychological. I'm curious if anyone else has experience anything similar to this.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

I was out shopping after work this afternoon. As I was making my way around the store, I was hit with the feeling that I was very small, and I felt very vulnerable. I've mentioned on here before that I'm over 6'0, and I'm physically fit. I'm not exactly small and vulnerable. I did a bit of research, and it seems to be physiological and psychological. I'm curious if anyone else has experience anything similar to this.

Honestly since transition I wish I could feel more vulnerable as its kinda, well wrongly in reality, associated with womanhood. I guess i personally feel more delicate and see a softness, say looking at my hands or body. So something changed with HRT. Out there though I still hold in my head a quite tough, alpha sense of being. I think it because living in a rough area for a while and having been assaulted a couple of times, I'm ready to take anyone out at any moment, thats never gone.

[Alana Ashleigh]

I've been having a hard day today. I got hit with dysphoria being out and about, and it has me feeling down. The last time I got hit by dysphoria, it was last fall. I was worried when I switched my work schedule for summer this would happen. Ugh

[Maid Marion]

I go shopping for pretty clothes to avoid feeling anxious.  Much cheaper than seeing a therapist!

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

I've been having a hard day today. I got hit with dysphoria being out and about, and it has me feeling down. The last time I got hit by dysphoria, it was last fall. I was worried when I switched my work schedule for summer this would happen. Ugh

I thibk that anything that brings your body down a bit like changes of schedule or problems can bring on dysphoria. Hope you cab build up some strenth and begin to feel better.

Love and hugs
Charlotte

[Alana Ashleigh]

I thibk that anything that brings your body down a bit like changes of schedule or problems can bring on dysphoria. Hope you cab build up some strenth and begin to feel better.

Love and hugs
Charlotte

Charlotte, I did a bit of research today, and it seems some of what I'm experiencing might be related to taking my hrt meds earlier than I was when I was working afternoons. I'm going to go back to taking them later in the afternoon, instead of early in the morning and see if that makes a difference.